My son refuses to go to parties

[julessussex]

He refuses to go to parties, if (in the past) I have forced him to go he sulks in the corner, arms folded, cross look on face and refuses to join in.

I don't want him ruining it for everyone else and I also hate it when other parents come up to me and gloat "what wrong with A today?" In a superior tone, and the looks!!
Should I just make an excuse each time or force him to go and join in?
A is 5 years old

Please don't force him, just accept that right now parties are not fun for him. He finds fun in other ways. Take the pressure away from you all.

That was the advice given to me as I was in the same situation, once i accepted my expectations were just not his reality it became much better for all of us x

I'm with him.

Parties are loud and tedious.

Gloating parents also sound tedious.

It's just not worth it for free jelly. Stay at home.

My DD was like this aged 0-6. Well, she wasn't as I didn't make her go. If she did want to go, I didn't stay with her. Now at almost 8 she's completely fine with parties. Still hates being centre of attention so won't play games. Manages okay at Brownies though (loves it, in fact).

DS at 4 would go to a party every day if he could.

Take it slowly with him.

I hate parties too and love the fact that I can politely decline for myself most of the time these days.

I think forcing him is the absolute wrong way to handle this. Your son is his own person and there's a chance he will never like parties or large groups. I never did and I turned out just fine. My son is the exact same way and he is now 20 and he's happy, hard working, financially independent and he has a lovely girlfriend. Just accept your son for who he is. He needs to feel secure about himself and that will come from YOU.

The poor little sausage, don't force him! Give him the choice & if he says no then that's fine.

I hated parties as a child, my own included.

I never have parties a an adult, and rarely go to them. Especially kids parties, they bore the hell out of me.

He doesn't want to go. Don't make him go. You'll only make his dislike for them worse.

I hated parties as a child too. Never wanted one of my own, and to this day, my feelings remain. There's nothing that solidified it more than being forced to go to one. I was incredibly introverted and hated every aspect of parties. I am less introverted as an adult, but my dislike for parties has persisted and I continue to avoid them at all costs.

DS2 was like this until he was about 7/8! We politely said no to all parties as if he did go he used to scream so much going in we had to take him away. Stressful for everyone. As he got older, he was happy to go to parties of close friends and now age 10, he will go to anything! I'm sure it's just a phase, but I wouldn't force him if he's not happy.

My DS is 7 he only attends his 2 best friends parties he doesn't want to go to any others and I politely turn down the invitations and send the child a birthday card. Why would you force a small child to go to a party when they obviously don't enjoy it?

I always hated parties as a child. Never really came round to them until I was a teenager and it was more of a "go out for coffee and buns with a few friends" thing. I still don't enjoy parties, and would much rather celebrate by going out with a couple of friends for a good walk or a cup of tea.

If he's miserable, don't force him to go. If he wants to celebrate his friends ' birthdays in his own way, then maybe let him invite the friend round for a play date a few days later and give him his present then.

Please don't worry about him not liking parties - it's fine. Let him stay away if he wants to. My eldest hated parties (and dressing up) from the age of about 2 and never went. She did occasionally have a party of her own as she grew a little older ( 8 and 9 I think) but then with only very closest friends. She's in her twenties now and organises huge events for a living and loves parties and being sociable. She also loves dressing up (but that's another thing entirely).

I used to hate going to parties.

My mum always made me go to ones if she got on well with my mum and I hated it.

Please don't make him go. It's pointless if he isn't going to enjoy it.

*get on well with their mum

Thank you everyone, we have decided to just decline invitations in future, I'm just going to send a card, I get fed up with people at school asking why A wasn't there... I've been making excuses but you've made me realise that it's ok to just say simply "parties aren't his thing" and leave it at that.

I hate kids parties and never liked them as a child, my husband is the same. A is a quiet child and only like one thing - Lego.

He has no other interests and will play quietly with his Lego for hours, making wonderful constructions. I'll leave him doing what makes him happy!

Thanks again all 😊