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DS says somebody is scaring him at preschool but wont tell me why

1 reply

Redesul · 23/06/2017 15:25

Usually my DS is very keen to get to school, loves it there, always wants to go, and I usually never have any problems dropping him off, I never get phone calls to come get him or any other complaints. I've noticed lately he's been slightly reluctant to go to school, but usually once we're there he's been fine and happy as usual. I just put it down to him being tired or something.

Today when we got to school, we were waiting outside for them to open the door to let the kids in, and DS sees a boy that I don't recognise (I don't recognise the parent either, I'm assuming he's new), and he starts trying to hide behind me. Which is odd for him. I didn't think anything of it, just thought he was playing. So the doors open, everybody goes in, DS is sticking to my side going, "(he's) boys name) over there!" and I look, the boy is in another part of the room. I just thought my DS was pointing it out because they all sit in a particular part of the room when they get there.

Bit later on I get a phone call from the school, saying he's refusing to eat his lunch or have a drink, didn't want a morning snack, refused to go outside to play in the garden (extremely strange for my DS as he eats like a garbage truck and loves to play in their garden), and has generally been a bit grizzly all day. So I say I'll come get him, thinking he's just feeling a bit poorly. I get there and find he's sat himself at a table refusing to move. Verging on tears. I just chalk it up to the heat, we're in the South and it's just been 30c for days.

Sat at the bus stop and he snaps himself out of his little mood, and decides to eat his lunch. Then he's happy as anything. At home I try and have a chat with him about what's wrong, and finally get out of him that (boys name) is scaring him. I ask him why, what's he done, etc etc. but my DS just wont tell me anything. So I'm not sure what to do from here, there's a chance it's all absolutely nothing and DS has just had an off day, but you know when something happens and then everything else seems to click into place? Well that's happening for me here.

The boy in question was behaving rather oddly like he may have some special needs or something, but having only seen him the once time I don't want to assume. My nephew has severe special needs and some of this boys mannerisms were akin to that of my nephew.

Like I've said, there's a chance it's all absolutely nothing, but if DS continues to be scared of this boy, should I say something to the school? If so, what should I say? I've told my DS that there's nothing to be scared about, and that the staff at school wouldn't let anything bad happen to him. I assured him that if he is scared he can talk to an adult.

I'm just a bit baffled about this behaviour, it's just not like him at all. I'm starting to feel a bit anxious about it as I had some issues of my own when I was about 5 or 6, slightly older than my DS is now, that required me having therapy for a while.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
KatyN · 24/06/2017 08:44

Definitely say something to the school, I wouldn't wait I'd just approach them as soon as you can. The room can watch and see if there is something going on, or reassure your son.
It's hard for them to tell you stuff that they aren't happy about. My son has had a couple of incidents and because we were worried I realised we were asking him about it in our 'stern/naughty' voice!
The other slightly wank thing we do is we often play school at home and then you can role play being unkind.. but this came about because my son wanted to play school rather than we attended too many shit training courses
Bless him. Xx

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