Anyone else feeling like your world is so much smaller?

[Bernies81]

Hi everyone,

I’m a Mum of two little ones, and first time poster, nice to meet you all!

I just had my second baby 11 weeks ago and starting to want to venture out a bit more, the problem being it’s such a hassle with two in tow (my eldest is 2.5 years old) so I find I’m spending a lot of my time in my local area. Looking back, I don’t know if that was the same with my first baby in the beginning or is having two just so much more hard work to get anywhere beyond the local library for Rhyme Time?

It’s really nice getting to know my neighbourhood better so maybe I should just embrace it, but I can’t help but miss going into other areas in London and spending more time out of town!

I did feel quite lonely the first time around and I want to avoid that this time, and going to new places really helps me to feel less lonely and isolated. Maybe it’s the area I live in, I don’t know!

My questions are -

What do you think? Is your world more 'local' since you had a baby/baby no 2/3/4?

What do you do to embrace this new ‘local life'? Any tips for me?

Will it improve once my kiddies are a bit older or will it still feel very ‘local’ as the kiddies grow older? Would like to think things get better as they age, but then school years could mean actually even more time spent in the local area?

I definitely stay more local now I have 2. They are 13mo and 3yo. Neither really like the car and it's generally easier. I don't have an issue with it though. We also spend more time at home. We have made lots of friends that my DC will go to school with.

It will improve. Having children of school age will widen your world in all sorts of ways as they will show you parts of it that you never knew of, they will know people in the neighbourhood that you only know by sight, they will have friends raised in totally different ways, and they will introduce you to the next generation's way of thinking. Teenagers are great at making you realise what a big world there is out there.

On a more immediate time scale, you have not long since had your second, it tales time to find your feet and reorganise your routines. By the 6 months mark you will probably find you are getting more adventurous again.

Very much so. My little ones are 3.5 and 16 months.

We have a certain distance we can manage in foot and specific supermarkets and days out we go to in the car- places I know I can park, but food they will eat, change nappies etc.

I've joined the gym- at the bottom of my road!

My local area is lovely and i do feel part of the community. But I often find myself looking at flights for 1- city breaks with sun and wine...

I've started visiting friends in other cities, just to feel like myself again and have that time outside of my bubble.

You can still make time for yourself and do things that you miss. Those early months are tough though.

I felt exactly like you when I had my second. My whole life was restricted to a 1 mile radius. Luckily, I live in a big city and there is a lot doing around where I live. My eldest was 22 months when I had my second and the good thing about that age is that they find absolutely anything interesting. I'd go on the same walk for the umpteenth time and he'd still find it fascinating! They are 2.8 years and 9 months now and I no longer feel so restricted. We have even been abroad twice and it was doable. It'll definitely get better, your baby is still tiny.

I'm in the same boat. Have a 2.9 year old and 4 month old. To be fair the toddler is in nursery 3 days so I don't have the 2 every day but when I do, I have my places I can 'safely' go and they're all local. Even when I just have my baby, she's so fussy that I can't be bothered going into the city (Edinburgh). I'm actually embracing it though. We moved to a lovely suburb 18 months ago and we weren't sure at first - both loved being in the city - but now I love it. I've met some local mums through a class and we do loads together. There are more baby groups in walking distance here than I had in the city and despite having a difficult baby, it just feels easier as I just come home if she's playing up. I was always on the move with DS when I was on mat leave and stressed myself out getting from group to group and meeting up with friends but here, they can come to me!

Thanks so much ladies, feels really nice to chat about it and hearing things will improve! I know it’s still early days and I need to be patient. I’ve actually received some great recommendations of things to do in the area on a local Facebook group I follow, gives me a few ideas of stuff I can do with both, things I wasn't aware of yet!

@corythatwas, that’s such a nice thought – about showing parts of the local area you didn’t know before, less so about the teenagers demonstrating what a big world there is out there, sounds actually scary ☺

@blazedandconfused, gym at the bottom of your road sounds amazing! I actually joined yoga sessions at the bottom of our road between baby number 1 and 2 – it was a friend of a (Mum) friend who actually lives on my road (I didn’t know her before), something I just couldn’t ignore and I really managed to keep up with it until I was getting too pregnant to continue. I’m looking forward to going back soon, escaping from reality! Even though I’m 1 min from the house, I feel like miles away when I do these yoga sessions in the park!

Haha, flights for 1 – city breaks with sun and wine, that sounds divine!

We actually are contemplating moving out of London to more rural areas – not on the short-term now that our baby is still so tiny but we are starting to think about it. Silly idea or would that improve things in terms how I feel?

@ Weatherbell1978, you’ve recently made that move – would you say the move made your world any bigger or smaller?

not as scary as it might sound, OP: remember they won't be the defenceless little baby you are looking at at the moment

to my mind there is something very reassuring about finding that your not-so-little-one has as much sense as you do- and sometimes even more

mine are 17 and 20 and far, far savvier than I was at their age

but also great fun to be around and grown into really interesting people

I found my world shrank after having my second too. Certainty for the first 6 months or so but even now they're 3.5 and almost 2 we generally stay fairly local most days. We live in a small village about a mile out of a small town but there's quite a lot to do nearby. There are lots of toddler groups, parks etc. We do tend to be more adventurous and go farther afield at weekends now. We often set off out at 9 am on a Saturday morning and don't come home until bedtime.

Should also add that yes, I embraced it. I enjoy pottering op around locally and frequenting nearby toddler groups means I've made some good friends close to home.