Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Is there an easy way to ...

7 replies

wanderingstar · 20/03/2007 19:53

...inoffensively tell someone you don't know well to take a chill pill when they've kind of asked your advice about something?

My ds3 is in a largely happy little group of 14 3 year olds at morning playgroup. One mother has been trying particularly hard to get her ds (B) settled - started off leaving him for just an hour etc., for many weeks after all the others seemed relaxed and easy about being left. Recently at pick up three of including B's mother were chatting when she said to us, while looking at me "Will he relax next year; it's taking a while?"

I have to say I think she is, for whatever reason, spectacularly unrelaxed and precious herself, which is why B remains fussy and anxious at the playgroup. My ds tells me, unprompted, that he, B, cries a lot and won't share toys.

I see B's mother fussing excessively over him in the mornings, over what he's wearing - seems to be put into a pair of slippers when all the others keep their shoes on, indoor trousers (?) and lots of other little rituals which I think must contribute to B's feeling like an outsider in the environment. Yesterday the class did their end of term "Seaside" concert, very simple with 4 "seashells", 4 "dolphins" etc. on stage. Very sweet. But B's mother just complained about the children being under pressure etc and didn't want B to be in it. Anyway on the day B cried and was cuddled by a teacher. This sort of thing does happen of course but ime the children get over it quickly if they're upset, and mostly they love joining in.

I really don't know the woman well and I would hate to be an interfering Senior Parent type, but B's mother did ask (the question above wasn't her first; she knows my older children went through the same playgroup and on into the attached nursery/ school). But B seems so unhappy.

Do I walk away ? Or tell her my thoughts - or yours if you have different advice ?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ScottishThistle · 20/03/2007 20:00

I'd say nothing for fear of serious offence!

But that's just me as I get asked advice so much & I just want to say "Oh for f#*k sake you're your child's problem!"

SoupDragon · 20/03/2007 20:05

Or say "Oh yes, DS1 was just like that. Eventually I took a step back and let him find his own way/place and he settled much quicker. I realised I was passing my own anxieties onto him."

BizzyDint · 20/03/2007 20:07

poor kid. indoor trousers?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

CarGirl · 20/03/2007 20:11

grit teeth very hard and say something along the lines of

"I found with my pfb his anxeties tailed off when I just dropped him at the door with a leader said a firm I love you, bye bye see you later and then departed quickly"

serious teeth gritting or walk away i think

wanderingstar · 21/03/2007 09:48

I'm not going to say anything, but will continue to feel sorry for little B...
Judging from the heartsinking expressions they just fail to hide, I think even the lovely staff are getting fed up of her buttonholing them virtually every day over some little ephemeral matter which would blow over anyone else.

OP posts:
ScottishThistle · 21/03/2007 10:40

The staff should be able to have a word, why don't you have a quiet word with one of the staff & say that she's asked for your advice but you don't feel you'd be able to pass on wise words without offending her!

wanderingstar · 21/03/2007 11:20

Good idea scottishthistle. Might just do that tomorrow. I think they've known me long enough to feel, I hope, that I'm not a heartless cow, but that mother needs to bloody lighten up with her little boy !

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread