Please help me explain death to my DD

[SmallBee]

I'm hoping you can give me some advice or recomend a book to help? My 3 year old DD has suddenly become really worried about the thought of dying and death in general. She has a lot of questions but I don't know how to answer them in an age appropriate way. She is so young to be worried about this and I don't want to say the wrong thing and make it worse. Any guidance is much appreciated.

Totally depends on your beliefs but keep it simple and positive. You could say that when someone dies they go to heaven to be with God. Or that when someone dies they become a star in the sky, or an angel that watches over toy. Is she worried about someone close to her dying or her dying? If it's the latter I'd get to what has sparked it off and work from there.
Good luck x

There's a lovely picture book called Lifetimes which presents the concept of life and death in a way that is very easy for young children to understand. It's available on Amazon I think.

Thank you so much. I will check out the book. She isn't asking about where we go when we die, although something she said yesterday leads me to believe that she thinks it's in holiday, specifically Centre Parcs...

She's mainly worried about how people die and when. I've explained that I don't know when because no one does but it's usually when you're very. Old and she is very young.
Cue " Mummy, are you very old?"

Hmmm. We've just had a significant bereavement, plus a 3 year old who is fairly obsessed with death - mostly because we often drive past a big cemetery and she's fascinated by "the people under stones". All her nursery friends are similarly obsessed so presumably it's the age for it.

We have just answered her questions as they arise, rather than adding any extra explanations. So she (I think) understands that everyone dies, but usually when they are so old their body gets worn out. And you can't see them any more, but you can remember nice things about them. She wanted to know where our relative died (hospital), and "did they fall out of bed?" (er no).

We picked up some ancient Shirley Hughes book in the charity shop recently (The Birthday Surprise, possibly) about a cat dying, which is quite matter of fact and has been useful. (although they buy a new kitten to replace it so possibly not the message you might want!)

One thing I would advise is only answer what she asks, don't elaborate unless she has asked more questions. They will process what they need to and ask more when they're ready. Let her lead it.