Think I want to stop breastfeeding at 4 days old

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

I had a v traumatic birth and am physically going to take a while to heal, I have a 3 year old who obviously wants attention and am in so much pain trying to feed the baby as my nipples are a wreck already. I've used some formula already and formula fed my 1st after the first 3 weeks so I'm fine with formula and know everyone says don't feel guilty but I do!
I think my husband would secretly much prefer it if I at least expressed but even that hurts and I feel guilty that my body is making this milk that I'm going to deprive my baby of.
I kind of have to decide quickly if I want to carry on tryingbto feed/express but every time I feed my nipples get worse.

Any words if wisdom/support/advise etc much appreciated

Thanks

It sounds like you've already made your decision and prefer to formula feed. Probably best to get on and do it.

My nipples were a wreck at that stage too-it's so painful. I got nipple shields and they saved me, I only needed them for a few days and that was enough for them to heal and after that I was fine. They really do toughen up. Have you had your latch checked just to make sure that's ok? But honestly don't feel guilty if you want to stop. Your baby has still had all the colostrum and that is full of great stuff

You have fed your baby for 4 days which is great. The colostrum is the most important bit. Have you tried nipple shields? Ultimately It's your choice and you should try and not let how other people feel affect you. You should take in to consideration -
How you will feel in a few weeks if you stop.
How you will feel if you continue.

And lots of lansinoh

I wanted to give up at four days too. The post-baby blues had kicked in and it all felt too much. I committed to giving it one more week and if I still hated it I would give up. I'm currently feeding my 17 month old. Yes, yes to laniosh. Ask to see your bf consultant at the hospital, they're a life saver. But if you decide to ff no-one can tell the difference between a child that was ff or bf on the playground so ultimately be kind to yourself and do what's best for you.

Thanks for your replies.
Latch not checked yet but I know it's not great. Keep taking her off to try and reposition but between us we're failing at getting it right.
I'm going to get some shields this morning and def want to try with those before making a final decision as I know then there's no going back once I stop.

Can you get the baby checked for tongue tie?

There is nothing wrong with formula if you decide that's right for you.

home.ca.inter.net/~jfisher/handouts/handout_thoughts.pdf

This might help if you think your latch is wrong. I was nipple feeding to start with and that was what caused the issues I think. Once I got her to take a proper mouthful iykwim things were much better!

If you want to stop, stop. If you want to try shields first, do that. Either is ok.

Get a lactation consultant to help you. Many will come to the house for about £150. Will pay for itself if you don't end up buying formula.

Have you tried the rugby ball hold? I found that much better for helping the baby latch when it was so tiny. Along with nipple shields and lanisoh.

But otherwise, if you want to use formula, use it.

I was struggling around day 4 with DS2.
It sounds silly but I took it day by day, so I'd just say to myself 'let's get through today and see how I feel tomorrow' and I carried on like that for a few weeks. I have just stopped BFing this week and he's nearly 7 months (I need to go on medication which I can't breastfeed with)
My children have the same age gap as yours and it is difficult because I know the guilt you feel for the older one but honestly during this time period, CBeebies is your friend. It will give you enough time to get a feed done.
Could baby have a formula bottle given by dad maybe once a day to start off with? Maybe in the evening so you can do bedtime story with DC1.
YY to lanisoh and nipple shields. You'll get through this but if you do FF feel no guilt. There are bigger battles.

OP, in almost exactly the same situation. That was almost 6 years ago and I have no regrets.

Do what you need to do for you and your family. There are many ways to nurture a child, infant feeding is just one of them.

If your nipples are getting wrecked and damaged then i would put money on it being tongue tie (happened with my dd) - otherwise your nipples shouldn't be getting damaged. I got it snipped privately for £150 and it instantly made it all ok.

Why do you say you have to decide quickly? Around day 4 is often the worst- could you try doing the "just one more day" mindset? Oh, and if you are taking the baby on and off the breast often, are you making sure you break the vacuum first rather than just pulling him off? Slide a damp finger between your breast and his to release the latch- pulling him off will really hurt your nipples.

Google breastfeeding advice in your area - someone will come out to you and help/advise. Try La Leche if you haven't got a local advice group. Also, your health visitor could check latch for you. It definitely sounds like a latch or tongue tie issue as you really shouldn't have sore nipples.
Coconut oil is amazing if you haven't got / react to lansinoh. Good luck in getting it sorted!

Do what you need to get through. It will all be fine in the end xx

I would also recommend nipple shields, they saved breast feeding for me. I was so close to giving up and I'm now 7 weeks in and still going xx

Definitely have latch checked. I spoke to MW and had a specialist come the next day.

Mine were cracked and very sore but improved very quickly once latch was sorted.

Lansinoh and nippple shields worked for me. I managed through trial and error and after 6 weeks everything suddenly clicked into place. If you can get support use it (wasn't much around 13 years ago when I had ds)

Thanks everyone.
By needing to decide quickly i meant that if I formula feed for a couple of days whilst thinking about it my milk might not be enough in a couple of days time

I BF my first with no problems and fully expected to BF my second. However, it was utter agony. Searing pain. I started to DREAD feeding and it got too much for me. I swopped to formula about 4 days in. I have no regrets. My child has not suffered.

I found day 4/5 horrific and decided to mix feed which saved my sanity. Managed to do this for 2 months and then switched completely to formula. You must do what is best for you and baby, as it has been said feeding is such a small part of raising a child although it doesn't feel like it at this stage. As long as your baby is fed, they will thrive and they need you to be happy - remember that!

I've made the decision to formula feed and feel less stressed already.
Thanks all x

Good. But remember that nothing's set in stone-if you feel different tomorrow then you can still change your mind. If you want to. Take it a day at a time.

Whatever happens your baby will be fine. Do whatever feels best for you!