Baby always wants held

[Cantthinkofaname123]

Hi hoping someone out there has some good advice as I'm at my wits end. I have an almost 5 week old DD who constantly wants held. I'm a single parent so I don't get a break. Literally cannot remember the last time I washed my hair.

Been trying to settle her now for over 2 hours, she finally fell asleep so laid her down and started to run a bath. Naturally she instantly woke up (this happens 9 times out of 10 when I finally get to make myself something to eat). Also she can't sleep without her dummy but she can't keep the dummy in her mouth either so wakes up every time it falls out which is every couple of minutes.

I've got a 5 year old as well and feel as if she's being pushed to the side as I'm just constantly stuck to the couch with the baby. I have good support from my mum and ex mil but both work full time so aren't always around. My mum came round today and I managed to tidy up and get washing etc done but she's off work not well at the moment so couldn't stay for long and I don't want to have to depend on her help anyway.

She's fell asleep on me while I'm typing this but I know as soon as I put her down she will wake up and then it starts all over again (bath is obviously out of the question I'm hoping I manage to grab a quick shower). I've thought about getting a baby carrier but she was a couple of weeks earlier and not even 7lb yet so unsure if she'd be too small?

I hope I don't come across as whiny I absolutely adore her and am grateful to have 2 beautiful girls but being on my own with 2 is so much harder than I expected. I don't even know really what advice I'm looking for I just had to let my frustration out. I guess it would be good to hear from any other singles parents and how they cope.

There's a couple on Amazon around £20 with excellent reviews. I don't mind paying the money for the caboo but I'm on a budget so would preferably save some money if there's not much of a difference.

I think I'd prefer to go with the caboo actually as the cheaper ones look too complicated. Apologies for the multiple posts and rambling I'm off to sleep for a couple of hours

Defo a good sling. Gives you your hands back to do bits around the house and deal with older child. Maybe take her in the bath with you each day? Or bring the bouncy chair in the bathroom and have a shower while she's awake. Both mine were a bit unputdownable at that age (and for a good while after) but would like to listen to the shower for a few minutes while I had a quick wash. Also it's got nothing to do with weight. Mine were 9lb-ers.

Cantthink I always just took my babies into the shower carried in one arm/head on shoulder, dont wash your hair the first few times & when you do make sure the conditioner goes down your back as it's slippy stuff!! Two of mine were such velcro babies that i can strip, shower, dry & dress myself & the baby without putting baby down

Cotton stretchy wraps are of a muchness & will be fine until baby is six months but can be very hard to BF in if that's a factor. They're also pretty warm (there's 5m of fabric). BUT so easy to pop baby in & out. (Still plugging a short woven if you get to the library )

Hope you got some sleep

I have that wrap cantthinkofaname and I love it. Takes a couple of times to used to the tying but now I can do it very quickly!

Penguin I honestly don't think I could manage that. I admire the fact you can do all that . I only have an over bath shower so not even sure it would be possible.

Odog she's still a bit small for her bouncy chair but hoping when she fits in it comfortably I'll be able to do that.

needanother I worry that I wouldn't it properly and she'd fall out

Cantthink ah we have a walk in shower, maybe into bouncy chair for a second as you step in & out?
Or water sling if you get the bug

If you don't mind second hand, check out eBay or your local Facebook selling pages - I bought a second hand Caboo off eBay, good condition for less than £10. They're machine washable (put in a wash bag / pillow case so metal bits don't make a racket) and it wasn't too expensive if son decided / decides he doesn't like it at any stage but he loves it so far

Penguin hopefully one day I'll be brave enough . I'm actually planning on moving house so will keep an eye out for one with a walk in shower!

Suzy I had a look on Facebook but there's nothing, slings aren't used much around here tbh, hence having never heard of a sling library. I was quite surprised when I came across the meet up in my area. I will have a look on eBay. I think today I may buy a cheap carrier to do until I've been to the sling library. Very tempted to go straight for the caboo but I'll wait until I've been to that. Shattered today she's hardly stopped crying. Had to bring her in my bed again which I hate doing as I've read that you shouldn't Co sleep with a baby whose birth weight was under 5lb5oz due to increased risk of SIDS. She was born at 5lb4oz.

Could you bring Moses basket into bathroom? Put her in that?

ODog she hates going in her moses basket seems to be sleeping in it less and less every night.

My mum came over today and held her so I could get a couple of hours sleep and then I got some tidying and laundry done. I've booked a cleaner to come tomorrow so that's a bit of a weight of my shoulders as my house is usually spotless and everything is just getting on top of me.

She's currently in her bouncer asleep but every 5 minutes she will start crying. It's hard not to give in and lift her but just trying to persevere. Although it's a hard cry and I'm worried that she's maybe in pain as had a bit of trouble with colic but it's not been as bad recently.

I had a boba which is like the ones in the pictures and is not pre tied but with a colicky baby and a million things to do I didn't have the time and patience for all the wrapping so once I got the close Caboo he lived in that and was quiet all day. It was such a godsend , I love tidiness too so I was able to get all the jobs done . It's like being pregnant again with a bump except much more comfortable ! And better than a screaming baby.
I would try eBay there are always loads on there , or buy new and sell off and use the funds for a structured sling at 3 months .

I had a Caboo and it was great, very easy use and was fine for my 6lb 5oz new born. I bought new ror around £50 and sold it on for around £30 at a nearly new sale. Definitely give e bay a try. For showers I would get everything ready and then put her in a bouncy chair and if she cried she cried. I know that that sounds awful but really it was a matter of two minutes and made me feel a million times better. If your dd won't go I a bouncer could you just fold up a thick fluffy blanket on the bathroom floor?

I used an electric baby swing which used to help mine settle n soothe my DC.

I have never used a sling but they seem very popular on here but if you don't want baby permanently on u then give the swing a try as well as the sling.

My daughter was like this
We called her velcro baby.

I bought a baby k'tan sling wrap. Which is so easy to put on and fantastic she loved it just long enough as a tiny tot.

putting her down to sleep.was hideous. One thing that worked miracles for Le was the tiger in a tree hold. Google or YouTube it. She always had a Tony but of trapped wind but the hold combined with a figure of eight motion whilst standing she would just drift off.

You don't sound awful at all. It's overwhelming and hard work when they are like this,but it does get better.

Ok I'm defo going to go for a Caboo I think. Not sure whether to get one this week or wait until I've been to the sling library. I managed to put her in her pram and get a quick shower. As soon as I got out she started crying but at least I'm clean! My bathroom is tiny no room to swing a cat so not sure how if I'd manage a big blanket with her on the floor but I might give it a try.

Thanks to everyone who has took the time to respond to my post. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone and that others have gone through the same thing. DD1 was the easiest baby in the world and I naively expected the same this time round. Typical it's when I'm left on my own I get a difficult baby! But I just keep telling myself it's not forever and will eventually get easier.

I'm going to speak to the HV tomorrow as worried I'm heading for PND. I don't feel depressed as such but I'm snappy and irritable. I find myself crying along with her and DD1 has caught me a couple of times so don't want her seeing me like that.

Sorry what was supposed to be a bit of a rant and a post for advice has turned into a woe is me feeling sorry for myself thread. It just feels better when I type out my feelings so hopefully talking to a professional in person will help.

Cross post - Yes I'm thinking about trying a swing as well. Been having a look online tonight trying to decide what is best.

Gin I will look that up, it does sound familiar I think I may have saw a video about that before I'm willing to give anything a try.

Again thank you for your advice I always feel I'm being rude with quick responses and not replying individually but I'm not meaning to I really do appreciate every post

Sorry if this has already been written but there's definitely a sling Facebook page - Slings For Sale - New and Preloved. Definitely go to a sling library then you can try out a few and get advice for the best one for you.
Good luck

I'm glad you're looking after yourself re PND
Are you remembering to eat & generally be kind to yourself?
Take care

Yes a sling is a great idea. I had a caboo but got rid of it as although it was very easy it was ridiculously hot (and that was in winter) I found a thin stretchy wrap much better (bought one off Amazon for about a tenner).
If I were you I'd try and hold off til the sling meet.

Today has been a better day. I've even got make up on which I done before taking DD1 to school she slept in her moses basket for 3 hours last night. That was with me putting her in still awake. She's spent more time in her bouncer today and slept in he pram too I've only held her when feeding her and for a couple of minutes to get her to sleep before going in the pram.

Also spoke to HV regarding PND and scored a bit high so seeing GP next week although may call in morning and get an emergency appointment.

So to sum it up I'm feeling loads better today but I'm not as naive as before I know the hard days are still going to come but at least there will (hopefully!) be good days inbetween.

Thanks to everyone who took their time to reply to my post it's kept me sane over the past couple of days and helped me realise I'm not alone. It makes me feel better when I write out how I'm feeling so maybe a diary or something would be a good idea.

Glad u had a better night. It will get better. Try to let her soothe herself, I know it's easier said than done when ur exhausted n do anything for an easy life and so as to not disturb ur older DD.

I used to take mine out in the car to put them to sleep and then being them inside still sleeping in the car seat. And the raised back used to help them sleep longer rather than being flat due to wind/colic. I know a lot of people don't like keeping babies in car seats but between that n the swing it was the only way I got half an hour to do anything.

Just seen this thread.
OP if you want I'll send you my stretchy wrap. It's super easy once you get the hang of it, there are loads of YouTube tutorials. I can't sell it as there are a couple of small spots (I painted my garden fence with DD2 in it last year!) of brown fence paint on it. You're welcome to it if you'd like.
I'm also a LP, mine are 11m, 3 and 12! I use a connecta sling now all the time for DD2, it's been a life saver in terms of settling her quickly and without tears, and being able to do things with the older 2, and getting housework etc etc done!
Pm me your address and I'll pop it in the post tomorrow x

Has anyone mentioned a Babocush? I haven't used it but it looks like a good idea. It's not approved by the lullaby trust so I wouldn't use it for long stretches or sleeping but it might let you get a shower

I used and still use an ergo structured baby carrier. It has an infant insert cushion for newborns. 14mo still goes in it as a back carry now. Ds2 barely used the pushchair as 2yo was in that. Definitely try some at a sling library.
Do you think she may have silent reflux or colic if she doesn't settle.
Practical solutions can be raise one end of the moses basket with a towel under the matress. I put ds2 to sleep on his side with a rolled up towel either side. He had a dummy from day2. (Pfb I followed all the rules for and got no sleep). We have a video monitor.
We slso had a bouncer which was at a flatter angle so suitable from birth fisher price woodland friends. He slept in that a lot. Sometimes he would have a little grizzle grumble protest cry before falling asleep. I realised this when dealing with ds1. Goes against instincts but have you left her in a quiet corner for a couple of minutes? Good luck. This time next year she will be running around getting into everything.