Juggling a newborn and a toddler

[Hevava]

Hi All,

I'm looking for some advice/ ideas on how to juggle a 2.5 year old (DD1) alongside a 7 week old (DD2). We had a tricky morning today.....made it out of the house to go to a local toddler group but it all went rather downhill.

DD1 is at that awkward stage where she is not playing nicely alongside other children and can't grasp the concept of sharing (we are working on it!). We arrive at toddlers with a sleepy baby who has just drifted off for her nap- cue the normal noise of a toddler group and DD2 is awake. Every time she starts to close her eyes something wakes her up again so by 11am she is over tired and needing to breastfeed again as she's still awake. However....it's impossible to sit and feed her and leave DD1 to play as she's snatching toys and pushing other children.

How would you manage this situation? We can't stay at home all day just so DD2 can sleep?!

I've considered trying DD2 in a sling to see whether she'd sleep better but I'm still recovering from my c-section and not feeling quite up to carrying DD2 for any length of time. Ideally she'd be napping before we head out but it's not working out like that at the moment.

Any tips on helping children share nicely or is this just a phase they all go through?

Thanks

Try a sling. You may well find that carrying her in a sling for a prolonged period is actually easier than carrying her in arms for a short period. Go to a sling library with qualified consultants. If you can find the right sling it will honestly change your life. It made my just less than 2yr age gap so manageable and, actually, enjoyable.

Thanks ODog, we have a liberty sling and a bush baby but not getting on particularly well with either and DD2 has screamed the place down when put in either of them! Will definitely look up our local sling library to see what we can find x x

Can we start a support group? I've not got the sharing issue but I'm struggling with a 7 week old DD and DS, who is almost 3. He is a lovely happy friendly boy but very hard work at the moment - he's bored of all his toys, won't sit and read/colour with me if I'm feeding or holding DD (she's bf and is generally feeding or pooping) and isn't easy when we're out of the house, sprinting off a lot. He doesn't listen to anything we say about staying with us, so we restrict most trips to weekends when DH is at home. I'm terrified of taking them both out by myself, he's too big for a double buggy but sits down a lot if we have reins on him.

I am constantly trying to plan things to entertain him, but often end up relying on CBeebies. He can't fall asleep by himself either so settling him for a nap is a nightmare, today DD was grizzling with wind when I was trying to read to him in bed, then she did a huge poo so needed changing, then DS got up and started milling around asking for his toys out...I'm hoping to do a Tumble Tots class next week with him so he can burn off some energy in a safe area, and I've promised him soft play this afternoon - although he'll probably want me to come through it with him and I can't because I can't leave DD, I hope there's some other little ones there he can befriend.

Hi

I am in similar boat - 2.5 and 9 weeks. Finding bedtimes hard on my own and am going out with both even though there is a lot of crying and competing demands
X

I can't get the youngest to sleep very easily cuz the oldest is so loud and keeps waking him. This results in over tired youngest and more crying :(

I'm going it gets easier but I'm worried it will get harder tbh. Youngest isn't sleeping too well at night either and I can't rest in the day.

How did soft play go? My eldest is very clingy at soft play xx

Well done chosen for getting out at all, I'm finding that really tough and today was the first time I've done it for a 'proper' trip out! Soft play was fine actually, it was a very small one in a garden centre cafe and nice and quiet, so much so that I could leave DD sleeping in her pushchair at the entrance and go round with DS. He had a huge screaming fit on the way home which wasn't ideal in motorway traffic, I think he got a bit hot and overexcited.

I have the opposite problem for naps - the baby tends to drop off randomly after a feed/cuddle and often I can settle her in the Moses basket for an hour, but she generally cries when I'm trying to get the toddler down for an hour at lunchtime and so he can't drop off.

Tomorrow my mum is coming up (she lives 2 hours away and doesn't come very often) so I will have an extra pair of hands, I think we'll try get to a museum with a play area and maybe go for cake.

Glad it's not just me that's struggling! It's so hit and miss when we go out but after the fun and games we had on Monday I've been a lot more hesitant to go out on my own with them both! We are going to brave messy play this morning. Little one is down for a nap and am gonna feed before we go out so hopefully we'll cope......best laid plans eh?!

ps we are relying hugely on cbeebies and films at the moment.....feel guilty about it most of the time! Yesterday I stuck the TV on for DD1 and went and hid in another room to scoff a mini trifle while browsing facebook :-p (well if I hadn't hid I would've had to share it!)

I think in times like this a bit of TV isn't going to hurt, do what you need to survive and keep your sanity.

Do you have a garden? I've found my 2.5 year old suddenly finds old toys exciting if they're played with outside.

We do have a garden but we live in an upstairs maisonette and the garden is round the back so it's quite an effort still getting us and all our stuff out there. I don't feel that I can leave both of them out there to pop back in if I need to grab something so we end up taking the entire change bag, house keys, phone etc! Moving house in the next couple of months and am so excited about being able to send DD1 out of the French doors and watch from the kitchen window!
Good tip about old toys RoseVase, will have to try that one. What sort of old toys do you use? X