hitting at nursery

[TeaBelle]

DD is 2.5. She has attended a samall nursery since her second birthday for 3 mornings per week. Over the last 2 weeks we have had 3 incidents oof her hitting othother children, usually with spoonsspoons/puzzle pieces eetc.

We have tried implementing a sticker system so whoever collects her gives a sticker if she has had a good day with no hittinghitting, but it doesn't seem to be effective.

DDd is very articulate articulatbut doesn't have a hugehuge range if coping skills when people invade her space, and she will push when with me although she knows it's wrong and immediately apologises but she has little.impulse control.

Is this normal for her age? Are there any other techniques for helping her realise this behaviour iisisn'tn't acceptable? We talk about it after the event and she knows hitting makes people sad.

Sorry for all of the double words, daft phonephone!

It isn't unusual for toddlers to push, hit, or bite. Some do, some don't, some do at pre-school, some only do it at home.

What does the nursery suggest for dealing with it? What are they doing?

At this age I'm not convinced a home based sticker system for what happens at the nursery will work. Toddlers need an immediate cause and effect So if she pushes someone because she won't take turns with a toy, she has to play in another area immediately and she doesn't get to play with that toy for a while. If she uses words then she gets to play with the toy a little longer before giving it up to the other child.

I think what is happening is that she misbehaves but by the time she gets home it's no longer at the forefront of her memory. She misses out on a sticker, but because what she did happened several hours before it doesn't make a strong link to why. Also a sticker doesn't really logically relate closely to the consequences of shoving someone which are - people don't want to hang around or play with you much.

Thank you for your thoughts. At home we lean towards immediate logical consequences but struggling much more for this situation. Nursery staff talk to her about being kind and say no, but not sure that they go much beyond that at this stage.
I don't know whether to ask for a meeting or whether I'm making too bbig a deal of it at the moment and can leave it til parents eve which are once per half term so will be reasonably soon anyway

It's impulsive behaviour - totally age appropriate. She knows it's wrong but can't stop. The best way to deal with that sort of behaviour is to spot her & block the hitting, saying something like I won't let you hit, hitting hurts. However it seems unlikely the nursery will be able to do that all the time. Could you speak to them about it to check?

The second thing to consider is that behaviour is communication. Is she telling you the group care situation at nursery is overwhelming for her? This isn't uncommon. Is it too much? Does she do it anywhere else? E.g. Park? Play dates? Is there anything else going on for her?

Stickers/rewards/punishments will not help. She won't understand, plus it's behaviour beyond her control at this stage. She's trying to communicate something.