New partner

[RokChik]

I'm after some hearing some views on when to introduce my boyfriend to my kids. I split up with their dad over a year ago but for one reason and another I only moved out 4 months ago. I share custody with their dad almost 50/50 (I have a couple of extra nights).

My daughter is 12 and my son 7 (he has autism and doesn't really connect with the idea of relationships).

They've actually met my new partner a few times as a friend before things developed further and they both adore him.

At what point should I broach the subject, particularly with my daughter, that were not just friends?

It's not how long you've been separated from their dad, it's how long you've been with new partner, how serious it is, how likely he's going to be around long term.

Given your son has SN, I'd be inclined to leave it longer rather than sooner

I'd say between 9 months and a year, as a rough guide in a typical situation.

Adjust that upwards for any complicating factors.

Hard to say but on average somewhere between 6 and 12 months?

And slowly. So they can get used to the idea of you going out on dates, him coming for dinner, him joining you all for an outing etc before he suddenly starts staying over.

Give them plenty of time to get used to each stage and also plenty of time still with just you and the kids.

A year. You need to ensure the relationship is really serious first.

You may have separated long ago but it's only four months for them that they have actually seen the split.

Too many rush in as their desires are more important than what's best for the children.