Is your gp supportive and good at helping you manage your illness?
If so, hopefully they can help?
Beyond that, I want to say that it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mum to hate the particular stage you're in right now.
You'll find motherhood easier in some phases than others. So you may love it when your baby gets less dependent on you, I know some people find the relentless physicality of young babies really draining.
Personally I loved that phase and had endless patience then. I miss those days so much!
But... I worry I peaked too early as I'm finding the 5-6yrs old bloody hard! But then, others will tell you it all comes together once the child starts school.
So, try and keep the faith you'll find it better as your child grows. It will ebb and flow for you, and once you get a taste of the good times, it really helps you through the harder times. Just a bit of a bugger that your path has started on a down note 
On a practical note, you need some good stuff to be happening so you can get through this stage in one piece.
What things give you joy, pleasure, energy? Can you add in as many positives as possible? Like, increasing time for you with adults?
It's like an equation, your daily life needs to have as many positives (that give you positives), as negatives (things that take away from you, drain you in some way). If you're always coming out in minus numbers, life will slowly drain you and whilst we can cope like that for a while, it's too much to deal with if it's all the time.
