DH, DD, and female spaces.

[gandalfspants]

I'm not really sure what section this should go in so apologies if this isn't the right place.

DD is only 8 months, but after a 'baby change in the ladies' incident yesterday I'm thinking about the future and what the right thing to do is regarding DH, and DD's access to toilets while in his care.

Should he take her in the men's once she's using the toilet? Until what age is this acceptable? What age do people let their children use the loo alone in places like service stations and shopping centres?

I don't have much experience with other people's children and she's my first so I'd like to hear what everyone else does. Thanks.

Most places like swimming pools etc allow it up to about 8 in our area.

As for toilets, I see no issue but dp feels uncomfortable with it so either uses the parent and child room or the accessible ones of no one else is waiting.

My DCs (boys) go into the women's toilet when they are with me, and I would expect your DD to go to the men's when she is with your DH. I can't go into the men's toilet, and he can't go into the women's.

The rule of thumb seems to be about 8, as that is when most swimming pools expect a child to go into their own sex changing room, but I imagine that this can vary according to the child.

Other way around but when with me now DS1 (9) takes DS2 (6). I had problems when DS1 was a very tall 5 year old going through a terribly shy clingy phase where he really panicked in new situations well unless I was with him - he was calm and quiet in the ladies and stayed close but still got tutted at as he was as tall as some 8 yos. Luckily he just needed time and grew out of the phase but it would have been a real problem if it had gone on until he really was 8 and looked 10+...

Most people say 8 is the boarderline age where the child needs to go alone into the correct sex changing room/ toilet. Use cubicles obviously if taking a child into the opposite sex changing room - it is genuinely tricky if there is no family changing room and no cubicles though.

DD never went into the men's with DH I don't think, but they rarely went anywhere alone where public toilets were needed. She went to the ladies alone from about 5 or 6 occasionally.

DD used to go with DH to the mens quite frequently, even if I was there, as the queue at the gents was usually much shorter

The men's can smell quite strongly in some public toilets - I remember DS1 having a huge issue with the smell when he was younger... But he is quite sensitive to smell.