Moving toddler to a bed, disaster

[majorfwp]

Any tips?!

DD2 is 2 years 4 months. She climbed out of her cot and landed on her head the other day so we escalated our plans to move everyone around. She's now in the bottom bunk with her older sister in top.

Bedtime is taking 2-3 hours. Obviously it's all new and exciting but even when she's tired she gets so hyper and hops in and out of bed, chats, sings etc. DH is doing bedtime these days as we also have a 3 month old but he's away in a few weeks for a whole week and I'm dreading it!

DH loses his patience after a couple of hours and shouts at her which I can't bare. She's a bit too young to grasp a reward chart I think so I'd love some ideas of what to try please!

We had this when we put ds in a bed. He went from being perfect, pop him in his cot and didn't hear a peep from him, to being a nightmare, up down up down for hours.

At first I stayed in the room with him until he fell asleep, but then realised that wasn't sustainable, I wanted my evenings back, so I would just leave the room and any time he got up i would go back in, and put him back in bed. And repeat. It took a while, a couple of months but he's got the hang of it now and doesn't leave his room once he's in bed. He might get up and get a book to "read" or a toy to play with, and I can hear him chatting away to himself for a bit, then he settles himself and goes to sleep. I appreciate though that if your dc are sharing a room then it may not be ideal to have her chattering.
All I can say is just give it time.

Thanks for your reply. Yeah I don't think there's a lot we can do. Hope she gets used to it soon!

You could put him back in the cot and teach him not to climb out.

Most children could run across the road without looking. If that happens we generally don't say 'right, no more crossing the road ever'. We instead are firm and riotous in teaching acceptable and safe behaviour.

Climbing the cot is just unwelcome behaviour. Rather than moving to a bed to soon, you could just apply some behaviour boundaries and expectations.

Yeah but I wouldn't let a toddler near a road unsupervised even after teaching them to look both ways, they can't be trusted! But I can't spend all night in her room with her to make sure she stays in the cot!

It was a suggestion, that's all.

But if you do choose to teach your toddler that they should not climb the cot bars, the idea of teaching boundaries is that you then don't have to police it 24/7. Once the child had learnt, she will know not to do it.

My children were all past their 3rd birthday before moving to a bed. And it was a straight forward change as a result of them being ready to make the change, rather than it being forced before the toddler was actually ready.

Is he disturbing your DD? If so, can she go to sleep in your bed as a treat for her, and then you carry her into her room once DS is asleep? Obviously only possibly if DD is still quite small.

Do you have a gate on their bedroom door? A tall dog-gate may be better than a toddler gate which my 2.5 yo can climb unaided. And then, as long as he is happy and the room is child-proofed, could you leave him to it?

You have my sympathy. My first was a climber, and went into a bed at 18 months. She climbed everything, the cot, the stairgate, the cupboards. My second wasn't a climber - much less stressful.

My approach was to make her bedroom her personal place, so somewhere she was happy to just hang out. Things like sitting on the bed to read stories during the day, and playing with toys in the room helped. In the evening she was allowed to take a whole pile of cuddly toys to bed, and some books if she wanted to look at pictures. Also eliminating excuses for coming downstairs worked, so make sure she has a beaker of water by the bed, her favourite toy, and has a wee immediately before settling etc

Good luck!

We had this, with DS unfortunately we had it for 8 weeks not what you want to hear but with DD it only took 6 days, keep going, the novelty will wear off soon enough

Gate on the bedroom door. Quick 'kiss goodnight when in the bed' routine. And leave. You are enabling this taking longer and longer by hanging around!!

Put a stair gate on the door and just lie down with her until she's asleep for the next few weeks?
A year will make a big difference. Good luck!

Put her straight back to bed every time. Don't talk or engage with her. Just silently return her to her bed. Over and over again until it sinks in.

Make it boring, take her back to bed and leave quickly, over and over and over again.... minimum attention, quiet voice definitely no shouting. (The stick)
Tell her to cuddle her teddy to sleep i.e she has to help/let teddy get to sleep, or get a new pillow slip with fave cartoon character. (The carrot/distraction/make it a game approach.)
Or just give it time. Give dh a star chart for not shouting. Not easy I know.

FATEdestiny - you sound like a self satisfied arse!! What a ludicrously arrogant reply.

I'd second the stair gate.
I laid down with my eldest daughter every night and it was a big mistake. She is a terrible, anxious sleeper.

We sleep trained the younger 2. They self-settle and are peaceful, consistent sleepers.

Could you take the top mattress and put it in the nursery (presumably the cot wasn't in with your older dc) for your older dc while your toddler learns to settle?

Or have they always been in together?

My toddler is not quite 2 and has been in her bed a while now because she was a bossy nightmare to get down in her cot and had to fall asleep in our room and then be transferred. She would be a massive pain doing that as well though and would jump on and off bed running round etc. Me and my husband have both been very firm in telling her she is not allowed to climb off the bed and it's transferred to her bed now and she never ever climbs out once we've put her down for the night.

It's worth trying to be consistent and firm to see if he gets the message.