Visiting smokers

[mummy2annabelle]

I need to ask your advice, my brother and sister in law both smoke in there home, they have four children, this is there decision and I've never judged them.

However I had my first baby in January and have refused to let me other half take her to there house because of the smoke and chemicals smoking has left.

We've offered for them to come to use twice, both offers have been declined, no issue from me but today she's now caused a family argument by putting on social media that I won't let my daughter visit them.

AIBU? Should I do more or is the fact that we've invited them to us enough?

Opinions would be great x

Yanbu.

My dd is nearly 2 and has only been to my parents house about 3 times as they smoke. Only been in summer so we're in the garden and nobody has smoked while she's there.

I also tell smokers they need to be smoke-free at our house. I.e. No smoking here, wash hands and clean top.

Nobody has ever had a problem with it.

I hate smoking more than I can say (never have smoked, grew up with smoking parents, work in a head and neck cancer unit, would just love to get Liam Neeson on the ass of scumbag tobacco pushers) - but I do in fact think family is more important.

I think your SIL has made the wrong decision to post something like this on Facebook - what a stupid thing to do. But I would go and see them and build bridges. Just go out for a walk if they light up in the house.

They are selfish twats for constantly exposing their own 4 children to fag smoke.

I wouldn't visit. Their house must amell rank.

*smell rank

Don't reply on Facebook but I very much agree with you putting the health of your baby first.

I would speak to them or send them a message to say that you are following NHS guidelines and the advice of your HV so won't be visiting them and remind them that they are welcome in your home.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. Smoking in the house is utterly grim at the best of times and i would never subject a child to it let alone a small baby. No reason why they can't come to yours or meet you elsewhere.

No way would I let a small baby in a house with people smoking. It increases the risk of SIDS for a start. I used to be a heavy smoker and struggle with staying off them at times but smoking around kids now is just completely unacceptable. I don't understand the mentality at all - they are affecting their children's health for life. It's so easy to just go outside.

When you say "caused a family argument", what has been said back to your SIL and by whom?

I wouldn't even consider bringing my baby to a smoker's house. How disgusting! If they are offended, too damn bad. Your job is to protect your baby, not cater to their precious feelings.

I have this issue. My mum and sister are heavy smokers. I dont want to go to their houses as they smoke in the house.
When they came to visit our LO they were very aggressive when I told them about no smoking/ wash hands/ change top or remove layer. My mum took it very personally. My sister made all sort of passive agressive comments saying I was obssesive and I was making that stuff up.
None of this helps my PND but I grew up in a house full of smoke and I dont want my baby near it :-(

I am dreading the next visit

Bluebellevergreen explain the situation to your HV and ask them for a leaflet so you can give it to your family.