Am i the only one who can't stand toddler groups??

[anon1987]

My children are 4,7,11 so I'm past that stage now, but I was never one to want to go to toddler groups.

I just find them a little irritating. Am I the only one??

My dds all started 15 hours free nursery at 2yrs 9 months so I also never felt the need.

DD absolutely hated them - she struggles with noisy and/or crowded people (her nursery is fairly small; I'm not expecting starting school to go well). She would only not scream if she had my full, undivided attention. And even then, she really wanted to go home. It meant they didn't really work for me...

I'm also a bit past that stage now, but I tried when on maternity, went to a few, tried a few more - felt I should. I couldn't stand any of them. One was just full of childminders who all talked to each other, another was just well clique, to be honest at the other ones I tried - I found other people's older toddlers just irritating. I'm sure lot of people love them, but in the end I gave up and enjoyed my maternity much much more. They are just not everyone's cup of tea.

*noisy and/or crowded places

Sunnydale i find that the mums in the school playground who go to them are all very clicks with each other and yes I also find other people's toddlers annoying.

I take my daughter to the soft play centre and she's always getting battered or shouted at. I can't be dealing with unruly kids who's mums are ignoring them having a gossip.

I go for my dd really, when the weather is shit it's good to get out the house and sit and watch her play with different toys and run about. I'm not mega into making Mum friends but you inevitably end up having a chat and that's fine.

I don't mind it when they're cliquey! I generally just want to go and zone out a bit anyway so it's fine by me

Hate them with a passion. Always picking up more sickness bugs.

Can't think of a worse way to spend our time.

Can I ask what activities you do if you don't go to toddler groups? We do park/library/see friends but can't do that every day! I suppose I'm on mat leave on the mo so more time to fill up.

I don't love them or hate them. They're OK. They give us something to do. Sometimes I enjoy the walk there and back more than the group itself. Other times the group is really fun and I love watching my DD run around having fun. I don't go there to chat to other mums, though it's nice to exchange a few words with friendly people. I mainly go for my DD so we can play with toys that we don't have at home at make more mess than we're happy to make at home.

My dc are 11 and 10 now, but for me, toddler groups were the seventh circle of hell. But I was lucky, the ones I went to were normal hell. A friend of mine went to one where every session started with everyone singing an introduction. As in 'hello everyone, my name is X. And this is Y, say hello Y, Y says hello everyone.'

OP I think it's a bit silly to make a broad judgement on toddler groups without having ever been to one. Which is odd because there's quite a lot of variation, it's like saying "I can't stand restaurants" because you once walked past a Harvester and didn't like the look of it...

I'd rather take my dd to the beach with the dog and her cousins

^^ I don't see how that's so different an activity from half the toddler groups I've ever been to, it's just another place where kids can play, and personally I'd rather be indoors having a natter and a cup of tea on a cold wintery rainy day than trekking around on the beach. Not that I am averse to being outdoors - we go to a woodland toddler group which runs all year round, in all weather, but it's not something I'd be doing every day of the week!

Not everyone has a ready-made, appropriately aged circle of friends and family for their children to socialise with, toddler groups are a great way to meet other mums and kids.

Chopsticky we go play on the beach or go to the new forest. We go to the park or sometimes a soft play centre if it's raining.
Sometimes we go to the zoo or our local theme park as we have annual tickets.

If it's not raining then we're outside usually.
The last thing I would consider is sitting Inside a hall on a sunny day.
My dds play with their cousins and all started nursery 15 hours a week age 2 yrs 9 mnths.

I tried a local one a few years ago before ds went to school. I went every week for months, smiles at people, said hello, donated nappies and food etc and no-one spoke to me. At all. Ever. The last straw came when I arrived, sat at an empty table, put my coat and bags down, sent the dc off to play and went for a drink. When I came back, a group of regulars had taken the table and put my stuff on the floor nearby. I looked, tutted, got my things and my dc and left. I never went back.

Instead, I used to go to the shops, the playground, the library, events at nearby NT and EH places, stay at home and do reading and play in the garden, go to the local soft play at a certain time when it was relatively empty, visited a bird garden and butterfly house that's not too far away etc etc. In short, I found plenty to do without being made to feel like I was some weirdo.

I feel bad sometimes because I don't have, or indeed really want, any friends so opportunities for my dc to socialise are rather limited but they don't seem to have any problems chatting to and playing with other children whenever we go anywhere and they're relatively popular at school/nursery so I try not to worry.

CrunchySide I may never have been to one, but I have friends and family that go/went and the activities and things that go on have just never appealed to me and I never saw how it could benefit my daughters.

They are a lot cheaper than soft play. It's a safe environment for your child to play and they usually provide kids snacks/tea and biscuits. They can be busy. I used to arrange to meet friends there rather than a cafe/our own houses as it was more suitable for the kids to let off steam. I'm not sure what there really is to strongly like/dislike! If nobody there that I know I might make small talk or else play with my child/read stuff on my phone.

Fruitpastille I think there are just different types of people, some like to meet new people and really crave that, others (like myself) don't feel the need to.

I'm a bit of an introvert and feel physically exhausted after meeting new people.

By the sounds of it it doesn't sound much different to the soft play place I take mine. It's very small, not a big place, it's catered towards younger children and costs me only £2.50 between 9-3. I sit there and use their wifi and have coffee, quite happily on my own. With a toddler group I'd just feel like a total lemon, all that pressure to get to know people

I dunno why you're so sniffy about them - "sitting in a dark room on a sunny day", we haven't had many sunny days down my way recently!! I can't afford to go to the zoo every week! Playgroups are one or two quid. I also don't have a car so places I can walk to are a godsend. I really like the "stay and play" at our local children's centre, not as many people use it despite it being free and it's less about mum's chinwagging.

You're only putting pressure on yourself to socialise, like I said earlier I don't see it like that, I only started going when my dd was about 1 and would actually get something out of it.

I find them mind numbingly boring and stressful at the same time. I try to avoid them as far as possible, though I do go occasionally on a rainy day. Always reminds me why I hate them.

I've really enjoyed them, even though my DD was super clingy so they were often hard work, I persisted and really glad I did. It wasn't really about meeting other mums for me, it was about getting out of the house and getting DD used to being around other children, because I didn't go back to work so she wasn't going to go to nursery. As it turns out two years on and I've made some great friends through playgroups, but that's just a bonus, it's amazing to see how much my DD has come out of her shell too and she's got lots of little friends, some of whom she'll be going to school with eventually.

We have annual passes to the local zoo and theme park, meet friends at soft play, do baking, train track etc at home, go to shops and the park, go to rugby tots. I do like a toddler group once a week though. We alternate between 2 so its not boring and I chat to whoever is there. I work 2 days a week so less time to fill. My eldest is at school too so a long school run takes up an hour each end of the day. When my eldest was a baby I did toddler groups every day- the children's centre offered free baby massage classes, music groups, sing and sign, sensory play etc. The ones I do now are church hall type ones, well organised with decent coffee and biscuits, a different craft each week, song time and lots of friendly people.

Your kids have lots of cousins. So presumably you have family nearby? When I had my DS I knew no one local with small children and my family are abroad. I'd go completely mad just me and him all day every single day! I've made some great friends through baby/toddler groups who I can now go to the park/beach/zoo/soft play with.

I go to baby and toddler groups of some description about three-four times a week. My daughter (who's 2) loves them and although I suffer quite badly from social anxiety she certainly doesn't and I'm there for her to play, not for any other reason. The rest of the week we see friends/go to the park etc.
To be honest though part of the reason we spend a lot of time out of the house is because we don't have a garden and as we're living at my parents at the moment it's all a bit cramped so there isn't a lot of room to play. I expect I won't bother with them as much when we move.

I went to one at a local community centre with DS. I didn't know anyone there and found it really patronising, boring and inane. Most of the other mothers there were sahm and there was a focus on healthy eating and weaning rather than activities to amuse the baby.

I never went back and it could just be that I wasn't suited to that particular group as I had nothing in common with the other mums so maybe a different group would have been OK.

I enjoyed a few with dc1. With dc2 I found the other mothers all wanted to play with their own children constantly and the concept of sitting at the side of the hall with a cuppa and having a chat was clearly not what they were there for. So mostly went to the children's centre where at least there were staff to chat to.

I enjoy them. Especially when I had newborn and 2 year old - it was the only place that was easy. Anywhere that wasn't contained my dd1 would run off.

I was lucky to have friends on maternity leave at the same time, so I had company. But in my second maternity leave when we both had two small children it's not like we can have a conversation anyway. A playgroup is far easier than a park, a cafe, a playcentre. Admittedly someone's house is an easy option but the mess is not fun!