Is it me?

[user1494615613]

Hi
It's my first time of posting so please be gentle with me.
I want to arrange a birthday party for my dd, she will be 5 in August. As I know many parents may be away I asked the father of one of the kids if they were going on holiday. Somehow through Chinese wipers the wife has come to conclusion that we are holding a joint bash. I did try to explain but it has fallen on deaf ears.
I did agree to view a venue in the hope that she would hate it but the opposite happened.
As our children are friends and I do like her (although she is pushy). I don't know her very well and I don't want to offend /hurt her but I have the feeling that I am being swept along.
Nothing has been booked but probably will if I don't do something soon.
Help!

Would you be inviting the same dc if you had separate parties? Can make it easier if you share a day / venue!( And cheaper!)
If you had a family party in mind just send her a text saying as you have lots of family it's best you have your own do. .
Text if it's easier than face to face!!

Yes we would be inviting the same people. Although our dd are different ages. I think it's the worry that she will take over and it will be me paying a 50% share in her dd birthday party.
She has been inviting parents at the school gate at the top of her voice and I don't like that. I don't like rubbing it in that not all the class will be invited.
No venue has been booked, no date arranged etc

Am confused why you discussed venues with her if you don't want to do it .
Say something now before you get any deeper in to it.

Also - top tip from me - don't have a party in August, it will end in disappointment. Hold your dd's party before the end of term.

Thank you for the tip. I guess it's the combination of overseas holidays and not seeing parents to remind them about the party.
I don't know why I went. I think it was the combination of hoping that she would change her mind, knowing that this is going to be tricky to get out of and I'm a coward.
I don't like hurting people so I agree to things and potentially I am going to make this so much worse that if I was braver in the beginning

Well, it's not really 'brave'. Just speak to her and say you've been thinking about it and, particularly as it is your dd's first school party, you want to keep it a bit smaller and just do things she wants, so, before anything gets booked, you just want to say that you won't be holding a joint one, and you hope she has fun at hers. Smile. Move on.