Parenting comments

[Dlah]

Morning all,

I haven't really posted much since my daughter was born 6 months ago. I've had 6 relatively easy months with a baby who sleeps through most of the night and is normally a happy little person, yet it seems this is just cause for people to make comments I wish they wouldn't.

I have 3 older sisters, they have 7 children between them ranging from 5 to 17.

I just feel like I'm being judged and it's getting to me, comments about how 'easy' I have it, they never had a prep machine, they never had isofix, they never used pouches to feed but made everything from scratch etc

Ok so I'm lucky to have certain elements that I choose to make easier but is that such a crime?

I've also been comfortable leaving my daughter with them since birth (the first couple of times out of hand as I had to go back into hospital and I hated thought of her sat around in there so my sister gladly had her overnight for me)
But yesterday has gotten to me, I asked another sister if she could baby sit next week for a couple of hours whilst I do a bit of work (I do nails on the side for some extra pennies, not many I add but just as and when)
Anyway, she rang me and said 'yes I can have S' followed immediately by 'you need to start booking nails when partner home'

It's thrown me - was she trying to say it's an inconvenience and she didn't want to? I always do try and book when partner home but as that's gone 6 it's not always practically by time sorted dinner and got little one to bed and people don't always want nails at that time.

Later last night I questioned her about it, ie if not an issue why say it and she didn't answer

I'm just sat here feeling like people are questioning me as a mother and the way I do things. I love my little girl with every ounce of my being, I do my best to be a good mum and it's just all getting me down :(

Sorry, just needed a vent

Great that you're having an easy time of it. None of those comments sound like criticism. The first ones sound like envy and your sister sounds fed up of babysitting and is being passive aggressive about it.

Do you ever return the favour re babysitting? Did you help much before you had your own?

It sounds like it is an issue to her but she doesn't want to come out and say it. She's probably happy to do it the odd time but doesn't want/think it should be a regular occurance which is fair enough I guess if you are asking them to babysit. Don't sweat the other stuff, sounds like you are enjoying motherhood.

Aw don't let it get you down

I'd step back a bit from them, don't tell them everything you're doing, like what you're feeding dd etc

For some perspective, the last time she had her was 4 weeks ago, so I don't think it's excessive and I said yesterday if it's an issue just say, she said 'of course not she's my niece'

And in regards to returning favour, I've had my nephews (now 17 & 14) loads growing up, from the age of me being 13 and oldest one being a baby. Overnighters, New Years eves, day trips out etc. I've always looked after them when needed.

I think it's the passive agreesive that's annoying me, just be honest if got an issue

All the "you have it easy" stuff is just typical experienced parent stuff. And all a bit bollocks in my opinion, things weren't that different 17 years ago and all those things were available 5 years ago. Ignore them. Or have a standard light-hearted reply about how it must have been difficult bringing up babies during the world war 2.

The babysitting...how often do you ask them to babysit while you work. If it's a fairly frequent thing, I think it is taking the piss a little bit to earn money while someone else babysits for free. Fair enough if they are happy to do it but it sounds like your sister is indicating that she isn't happy.

Sister 1 has only had her twice since born

Sister 2 (one whose made comment) last had her 4 weeks ago, has had her 3 times since born

Sister 3 had her on a more regular basis initially as I was doing a training course so would have each Monday & Wednesday for a few hours (she doesn't work herself is lucky enough to be at home whilst hers are at school) and it was something we agreed before birth and she was happy to do so. Out of all 3 this sister has had her more regularly but since my training finished it's probably been once every 3 weeks. I spoke to her also yesterday about the comment and she said she's got no issues she'd tell me if so