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Parenting

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Original poster

Nursery dilemma - near home or work?

42 replies

elmo1980 · 08/05/2017 14:23

I'm currently looking at nurseries for my ds when I go back to work later in the year (booo).

My office is about an hours drive from where I live but there's a good nursery about 3 doors down which I thought would be perfect as if anything goes wrong or I'm needed I just have to pop down the road.

However, I'm worried that 2 hours a day traveling for my ds 3 or 4 days a week (hours to be agreed with work) is far too much and he would be better off going to one nearer where we live and that feeds into the local primary school that he will be going to anyway in a few years.

I'm really torn but gut instinct is saying go for nearer home as if I'm ever sick he can still go to nursery.

What would you do?

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BusyBee2017 · 08/05/2017 16:37

Plus it's got an onsite cook so all food is made on site and kids also get a chance to help with cooking and making things when they are older

Original poster

elmo1980 · 08/05/2017 16:39

So they can go straight to bed and sleep from the car? I was thinking it would be a couple of hours before I would be able to get him back down again but I guess if he's had a full on, activity filled day, I can see how that might be different.

It could be stressful if there are any traffic delays going to pick him up although we are fairly rural but even so, all pick ups and drop offs would be done by me as dp works all over the place.

Gah it's so difficult I should just get a job nearer to home!

OP posts:

Mrscog · 08/05/2017 16:39

Definitely home - less risk of him sleeping on the way home and ruining bedtime, you can book leave and pop him in nursery and have a lovely relaxing day alone, if you're ill you won't have to do the nursery run to get him there.

Children are resilient - it won't make any difference to him whether he does the travel or not but the positives of having him near home are for your benefit!

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Katastrophe13 · 08/05/2017 17:04

POSitives close to work are spend more time together, potentially save money on childcare (depending on how nursery charges), no chance of getting stuck in traffic jam and being late for pick up. POSitives close to home no problems with falling asleep in car then not sleeping at night, no screaming for an hour in car for whatever reason (mine are quite often grumpy on pick up after being well behaved at childcare all day and unleash their rage when I get them in the car!!). And the ultimate they can still go there when you are ill so you can be sick in peace! I work 40 mins from home and mine are in childcare near my house which I much prefer but I have people I can call on to get them if I am stuck and will be too late.

pitterpatterrain · 08/05/2017 17:08

We did near home: we share drop/pick and both work in different places, and if you have a subsequent child the first can stay in their nursery without disruption to their routine if that is what you choose

pitterpatterrain · 08/05/2017 17:09

... during maternity leave

WeAllHaveWings · 08/05/2017 17:19

Ds was near home and I can still remember that 10 min drive with a toddler projectile vomiting in the back seat. An hour would have been impossible.

JigglyTuff · 08/05/2017 17:24

I know this isn't a popular view on MN but I think the best way of keeping your child safe in a car is to reduce the number of unnecessary journeys they take. If there is a choice of solutions with limited benefits one way or the other, that would be my deciding factor

Kiwi32 · 08/05/2017 18:42

My DS goes straight to bed from the car...currently! Who knows how it'll be once his bedtime gets a bit later. I have no-one near home or work for backup childcare and this was the only way to work enough hours. I think either way will have pros and cons and you just have to figure out the best balance of both for your situation. I would echo the poster who said children are resilient! There will be a way to figure it out either way. I also think it's a good point about subsequent children and maternity leave-I've just driven home having that very debate in my head!

stopmoaningpip · 08/05/2017 19:51

I take mine on a one-hour commute with me, however my compromise was that I wasn't prepared to do this more than 2 days a week - I know this isn't an option for everyone. I wouldn't have been sure of getting back in time for one near/at home. The commute wasn't really an issue when he was younger (except when I've been ill as pp said) but now he's older it's more difficult - the early start is very difficult now he's much more argumentative.
I have started him at preschool near home on one of my non-working days, and he will go there only when number 2 arrives (no good for work childcare though as starts at 2 years old and only runs 9-3pm).
After number 2 if I go back to work I will be using a childminder near home I think as number 1 will be at school where I live.

I would also say that if one nursery seems much better than the other I would take that seriously - I don't think it's a good idea to put them in one you're not very happy with just because you think the location is better.

ButtMuncher · 08/05/2017 19:56

Shamelessly following OP as I am in the very same boat with same length of commute!

Caterina99 · 08/05/2017 20:57

We chose near home. DH and I both have around a 30 min commute by car, although not in same direction. This way either of us can do drop off and pick up, normally DH drops off and I pick up, but meetings or whatever can change that and it's not a huge deal as it's not really out of either of our way. Also if I'm not working then Its easy to take him in and if my parents or inlaws are babysitting then they can walk round and collect him. Due DC2 in oct and DS will be staying 2 mornings at same nursery while I'm off work.

Downsides are that we are both 30 min away in an emergency and it technically adds an hour to his nursery day. This isn't an issue for us, but friends had to go with nursery close to work because of the hours and worries about traffic etc

BusyBee2017 · 08/05/2017 20:58

Yes you will have to consider your child's meal times. If your child is happy with eating at nursery and no more meals then go for the nursery by your work, but they may be very cranky being on a long journey after being away from you all day so will you be able to handle a difficult toddler for so long in the car when your toddler could be learning something at nursery or comfortable playing.

My DS1 needs to have a meal after nursery so a one hour journey would be horrendous for us. Sometimes he would whine all the way home from
His nursery which was 7 mins away....

You will have to have snacks on the journey if you are doing a long journey and after nursery it's nice to just get them in the bath because they have snotty nosed and have done messy play so will you be able to do your bedtime routine if you have a long journey your Dc will probably go to sleep on the journey

Original poster

elmo1980 · 08/05/2017 22:42

So many things I haven't thought about, thank you everyone!

Going to think on this a bit more, I'm veering more towards home but there are plenty of good arguments for nearer work too.

I will probably spend so long worrying about it there will be no spaces left at either of them - then I can be a sahm yay! (Only joking dp if you're reading this!).

OP posts:

Cranb0rne · 10/05/2017 05:33

I went for near work, mainly because it means I am not rushing out of the office before 5 and I don't have to worry about what would happen if I got stuck in traffic on the way home. But I am the only one who is able to do the drop off/pick up, my DH doesn't drive and we literally can't walk anywhere from our house with a pushchair so he wouldn't even be able to do the run if we had our sons in a nursery close to home. It's a nuisance if I am ill of course as noone can drop them off. I did once drive them in when I had a stomach bug and nearly had a disaster in the car on the way home

bakingcupcakes · 12/05/2017 14:02

When I first returned to work I had a half hour commute in the car with DS who was 1. He always fell asleep and I think I managed to carry him to bed still asleep once! It was a nightmare. I think it depends on the child but that's why when we moved I chose a nursery near the house rather than work.

SleeplessintheSE · 12/05/2017 14:51

We do work-related it's in one of our offices and the other works 10 mins walk away.

Advantages: no legging it for closing time, chats and stories on the commute, it's a great small nursery that suits DD1. Plus it's really tax efficient because you can salary sacrifice the whole cost of a workplace nursery!

But- we have a short commute- 35 minutes with 20 minute train and 15 minute walk, we can both do pick and drop because we are both close. I wouldn't drive far or have a complicated journey. DC not ill much so we haven't had to deal with that. It is a pain if you are not working that day or want to work from home, but the advantages outweigh that for us.

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