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Original poster

Birthday Party. Would you do this?

27 replies

mrsnec · 08/05/2017 07:22

We are not in the UK. I have a 2 year old dd and a 1 year old ds.

They have never met their cousins and I am not in regular contact with any relatives and neither is dh.

We are going to be in the UK for a holiday later in the year and a local tourist attraction has an excellent deal on birthday parties that works out better value than the standard entry fee.

My children have never had proper birthday parties and I don't have any friends with children the same age so I'm wondering if booking a birthday party with their cousins and our old friends would be a good idea but would it be weird that none of the kids or parents know each other?

Under the same circumstances would you go and would you travel? Relatives all live in the Home Counties and the venue is in Dorset

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Halfbakedpie · 08/05/2017 07:25

I wouldn't, inviting people you don't really have contact with would be ok-ish for a wedding event but not a birthday, seems OTT. Do you want them to meet their cousins/have more contact with the relatives or would it just be bums on seats for the party?

dramalamma · 08/05/2017 07:28

I can't see any reason why not - at that age my kids often had kids they didn't know at their parties because their parents were my friends - they're too young to care if they know them or not and a great way to break the ice with their cousins! Go for it.

Original poster

mrsnec · 08/05/2017 07:34

Well the level of contact at the moment is Xmas cards from some saying hope to see you and meet the kids when you're over but no arrangements made, another I told her my plan by fb message and got no response but my mum is on a mission to get the family together and has told me she's got the credit card on standby to book it if I want to go ahead.

I suppose I would like more contact perhaps but there is a bit of a lack of enthusiasm and I feel most of them are unlikely to visit us but it is also about bums on seats.

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SavoyCabbage · 08/05/2017 07:37

Your two and one year old won't know that they have never had a proper birthday party. Soon they will have friends who they want to invite to their birthdays.

I lived abroad when mine were growing up and I was always trying to make up for things that they had missed out on from living away from their extended family. I don't think this is one of those though. It sounds like a fun day out anyway so I'd go ahead with it as that if it were me.

helterskelter99 · 08/05/2017 07:39

It's a nice way to entertain the kids and get everyone together I would do it

Radishal · 08/05/2017 07:42

Home Counties to Dorset is a bit of a haul. I have a similar issue where I have little contact with my relatives and my dd's cousins are all adults.
We also had few contacts with similar age children before dd started school.
I would do something fun for your children but not try and combine it with a family get together-too many opportunities for fraughtness.
That said, I tried a family meetup with one set so my dd could meet her cousins. Said cousins pissed off into town to meet up with a more distant relative that was their age.

Whatsername17 · 08/05/2017 07:53

So you are looking to invite your (or your dh's) siblings children? I'd definitely do it. It's going to essentially be a paid for family get together. It will be lovely and may even reignite more frequent contact.

Crumbs1 · 08/05/2017 07:58

'Never had proper birthday parties' they'd have had to have them preconception to do so! No I wouldn't as it's a long way for the distant cousins to travel for a party where they don't know anyone. It's quite long distances.

Original poster

mrsnec · 08/05/2017 08:24

Well they have never been to anyone else's parties either. I was just trying to reiterate the novelty it would be for them.

It will be a week after dd's 3rd birthday. My 3 stepsisters and their niece all have children around that age and some slightly older.

DH has some relatives who may be in the area anyway as there is a big family meal the following day.

We might invite our friends too one has free transport to the area and the other free accommodation so its not too bad for them.

But yes they don't have any idea about birthday parties I just have a chance to give dd a very good one and I'm not sure if I should do it and not worry about family weirdness.

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Movingin2017 · 08/05/2017 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

mrsnec · 08/05/2017 08:39

We'd be taking the children there on that day anyway. It's just that the parties look great and get booked up months in advance.

It's about 10 gbp per child for entry normally even the 3 year olds but if you book a party it's 15 and you get food, 2 adult tickets per child and party bags with decent toys in them.

I would be gutted if people let me down though but it would prove to my mum and mil that these people are not really that interested in us.

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FiveGoMadInDorset · 08/05/2017 08:40

How far is it to get form where they are to the venue, to be honest not sure I would travel miles for a party with people that I didn't know very well

uhoh2016 · 08/05/2017 08:44

I wouldn't either. At age 1 and 2 it's unlikely they'll get much benefit from a birthday party or even remember it when they're older. Save birthday parties until they're in school and got their own set of friends.

Original poster

mrsnec · 08/05/2017 08:45

It varies for everyone but its between 1 and 3 hours but as it stands at the moment one family are doing a 3 hour drive for lunch in a hungry horse pub so I may as well give them something to do the day before!

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funmummy48 · 08/05/2017 08:52

I think it's a lovely idea. Go for it!

GeekyWombat · 08/05/2017 09:19

What's the tourist attraction? Is it exciting enough that even if just a small number of you turned up you'd all have fun? If so I'd be tempted to do it, just because effectively it'd be saving money for those of you who'd be going anyway.

Original poster

mrsnec · 08/05/2017 09:24

So if I were to go ahead, how far in advance should I organise it? They all know roughly the dates we're over so may be keeping the date free if they want to see us . Should If set up an fb event or send proper invites?

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MadMags · 08/05/2017 09:27

I think it's a fab idea! Just check with everyone before you book and you should get an idea at least of numbers !

Original poster

mrsnec · 08/05/2017 09:28

It's a farm park but it has indoor soft play and some stuff indoors so It looks as if its ok if the weather is rubbish.

The minimum number of children for a party is 8. I only need 6 to confirm. There are about 15 I can invite.

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Iamastonished · 08/05/2017 09:32

"Home Counties to Dorset is a bit of a haul"

This ^^. I doubt you would get many people travelling that far and back in a day for a party. Can you not book something nearer to where most people live?

Original poster

mrsnec · 08/05/2017 09:42

They are very spread out. Hertfordshire, Somerset, Surrey, Kent and Berkshire. My parents would be travelling from Devon.

We're not close and I didn't want to spend the 4 days we're in the UK travelling around with 2 toddlers visiting people . I wanted to give the kids a proper English seaside holiday. In laws are staying in Dorset at the same time and all of dh's other relatives live there so I prefer to be selfish and ask people to try and fit in with us.

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FiveGoMadInDorset · 08/05/2017 15:46

I know which one, if it is that one I would say your children are a bit to young and I wouldn't be impressed travelling miles for it, how old are the other children?

Original poster

mrsnec · 08/05/2017 18:07

Mine would be the youngest children there. The others between 4 and 9.

I would understand the distance explaining lack of enthusiasm but we do have another sibling in the area who I'm nc with and they're not and its normal for them to do Surrey to Dorset and back in a day.

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MadMags · 08/05/2017 21:08

You should send an email asking if it's something people would like to do!

I still think it's a great idea!

Radishal · 09/05/2017 06:36

By NC do you mean you just don't really have much contact with because you've drifted apart or do you mean you are deliberately "non-contact " with them. Because, if the latter, that is a whole level of difficulty unlikely to be solved at a family party

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