Digs about limiting junk in your DCs diet?!

[2littlemoos]

My eldest has not long turned 2 and since she was about five months of age I have received digs about the choices I make.

Just that really. I won't go into detail as its too long and boring but because my DD has a healthier diet than those that have made comments I seem to be criticised on some level for it.

Side note. I do allow her treats. I don't give a damn what other parents do. Some parents give their kids lots of junk food and some give their kids zero junk food. Not my business. Couldn't care less. But I am surprised that it is acceptable to make comments over the decisions and limitations I make. Anyone else experienced this?! And it isn't the grandparents I'm talking about. I've accepted that! sort of

Who's making the digs?

I know lots of mums who quietly judge others to close friends in private ("I don't know who you mean?" "You know, the woman who gives her kids coke in a baby bottle" "oh her!")

I know people myself who silently judge others. I wouldn't pass comment to anyone else and certainly wouldn't say anything to the person involved. But I notice things people do that I disagree with.

I am sure there are also lots of people out there better than me who neither judge silently nor privately, that just don't judge others at all.

But I don't come across anyone - and I have over 10 years of school runs parebts from 3 different year groups behind me - who says these comments to people's face.

As for being judged - it really shouldn't matter. Their opinions of you are their own business. It's none of your business what others think of you. As long as you are happy with your parenting, you can completely disregard the opinions of others if you see fit.

Depends really. I can't see any one judging you for not allowing fizzy drinks.
They may judge you if you are vociferous about how superior your child's diet is or you loudly declare that birthday cake at a birthday party is a gateway drug to Haribo and your little snowflake most certainly isn't having any!

I get the quietly judging. I suppose we are all guilty of that. I tend to do as a backlash.

So I will give a couple of examples.

Being mocked for not giving my 5mo non-weaned baby chocolate of my finger by one friend. And this was definitely discussed amongst that family as another relative brought it up.

When LO(8m) was offered toast at my sisters and I chose to give her banana instead and toast after if she fancied it "oo god forbid you ever give her white bread".

Laughed at for making homemade soup for DCs by friend and then proceeded to tell me I am a hippy mum and received a string of "jokes" about how I feed DD.

"Wolf" funny you say that because her Granddad asked if the cake had sugar in it . Yes I do let her have sugar but when we visit a whole cream cream, two kinder eggs and juice all in one sitting just to make her love you is a bit much!

I probably am a little sensitive but I am not intrusive with my opinions to others. There have been a number of things but it just baffles me!

I think it comes down to confidence.

It doesn't matter what people want to say about your parenting (to your face or otherwise) if you are confident in your parenting. You can be absolutely confident in yourself that you are right, so makes no difference what anyone else says because you know you are right. Water off a ducks back.

I suppose what I mean is you cannot stop others from being judgmental. But you can control your attitude to their judging.

Fate great words, you are absolutely right!

As soon as you get pg the entire world seems to think they can comment on your bump/lack of bump, diet then birth and feeding and routine choices.
You need to rehearse your smile and nod. Whilst completely ignoring them!

People always find a way to judge, give them chocolate you're a bad mum, don't give them chocolate and you're weird. There's no way to win. Ignore it if you can.

Don't worry about it. I would rather be judged for giving my child a healthy diet than a shit diet. Your reward will be your healthy children.

I've had a little bit of this myself and I think FATE has a point about confidence. I would also ask if perhaps you are a bit over sensitive generally? I asked my sister if she would cut the dc's grapes up and she gave me some gentle ribbing about 'would I like them peeled too', 'would tinned soup be acceptable for the little ones?!'. I didn't take it to heart because I know I'm right about the grapes and, well I know she's just taking the piss a bit.

Also, and there's really no easy way to ask this (please don't take offense!), are you certain you're not preachy about the subject? I go to a toddler group where the snack is a malted milk biscuit. Two of the kids aren't allowed them. One mum just whips something else out and gives her dd it. The other makes a fuss about how there should be a better snack, tells her little one not to go near the nasty biscuits and generally makes a bit of a song and dance about it. Obvious I'mnot saying people should give their dc food they don't want to just to fit in but, you know, you don't have to be a nightmare about it!

Where I live y8u would certainly be judged for giving a 5 month old chocolate!