Do any of you sleep on a different floor to your child?

[Writerwannabe83]

I'm pregnant with DC2 and due to making space for the arrival it looks as though we are going to have to move DS out of his room and create another bedroom for him but unfortunately it will be on a different floor of the house to the one DH and I will be on.

I've been a nervous wreck about the thought of it and we have chewed over other potential options but it is the only way.

We live in a three storey house and the change around would mean that DH and I would be on the top floor and DS would be on the middle floor.

He is currently 3yrs 2months and we would be looking to move him in a few more months.

He's currently on the top floor with me and DH and he could potentially stay there until the new baby would need his room as a nursery (so DS would be about 4 years old when moved) but I can't bear the thought of a screaming newborn/young infant keeping my DS up all night and having to deal with both of them in the early hours. The idea of it seems like a nightmare.

Has anyone else been in this situation and did it work out ok?

Yep, same situation. 3 storey house, 3 and 1 year old each have their own bedroom on middle floor, and have done since they were 6 months old each. I never thought anything about, and just have basic baby monitors in each room just in case I can't hear them. They'll be fine!

We've looked at houses like this. I think I'd want a stair gate on the main stairs so they couldn't go for a wander downstairs. I'd also want really really good smoke alarms and a decent escape route from the top floor

We're in the loft conversion with DD in the bedroom at the bottom of the stairs up. We can hear her chatting and playing and can definitely hear her crying. She's been there since she was 9 months, I think.

I really don't get all this angst about children on different floors. They are still just feet away and, you will hear them if they need you. Just leave the landing lights on or get some of those plug in night lights. It will be fine

Firstly, I've been shocked st how quickly my then- 3 yo adapted to sleeping through a newborn's crying! It might not be as bad as you think, if your oldest is good at resettling himself.

But in answer to your question, we are on the top floor and DD (4) and DS (1) are on the floor below and it's absolutely fine. We don't have any stair gates at the moment so DD can go where she will.

What specifically are you a "wreck" over, can you explain your worries to us a bit more?

Our room is on the second floor and both dc are on the first and have been since ds was 9 months old and dd 6 months. Its never been a problem, I always heard them, even without a monitor.

We had his situation when my dc was a toddler.we had a stair gate on his bedroom door and one on the stairs. That plus a baby monitor. It was fine. A four year old would be ok I would have thought?

Mine are on the second floor, we're on the first. Works fine. And I can ALWAYS hear them.

I getcha OP, I'm feeling really sad that DD will shortly be at the other end of our apartment (with a hallway, a utility room and a kitchen between us). It feels like most of my friends have their DCs in the next room. In good news our flat has never felt bigger.

PPs are right though - we're being a bit PFB, they'll be fine.

In our old house DS was on the top floor and we were on the middle one, it was like this from when he was 6 months. Other people used to get the angst. Didn't it make me nervous etc etc. No, never. I had a baby monitor, it was no different to him being in the room next door (if there had been one).

When DS2 arrived he slept in the tiny room next door to DS. So both children were a floor away from us. DS1 slept through all the night wakingsky except for a small initial period, but that was when DS2 was in our room Anyway!

It was great, we could watch movies downstairs without worrying about the volume, have people over easily, wrap Christmas presents, accept late trick or treaters. They never heard a thing. There are certain advantages to having the children sleeping 2 floors away from the living area.

In this house we are all on the same floor. Now that feels a bit weird. It took me a while to sleep through DS2s nighttime noises, I had no idea he was such a noisy Sleeper!

I really don't get all this angst about children on different floors. They are still just feet away and, you will hear them if they need you. Just leave the landing lights on or get some of those plug in night lights. It will be fine

For me, the anxiety wasn't about not hearing them, but about being burgled in the night whilst sleeping (which I have been, very recently, so not an unsubstantiated fear) and the children being there for the burglars to come across while I was tucked away in the loft. However, watching most house guests fumble ineptly with the stair gate meant we shut the gates at the top and bottom of the stairs at night and feel relatively safe - I don't think (hope!) any burglar would risk battling with an awkward gate when people are clearly upstairs asleep.

My main worry is that he's going to go wandering. At the moment we are on the same floor so the only place he wanders to is into my bedroom and there is a stair gate at the top of the stairs to prevent him from going down them to the other levels.

I suppose the answer is to put a stair gate across the stairs leading down to the ground floor so he can't go down there but I will still worry about him getting up in the night and going into the living room which will be opposite his room and causing mischief whilst me and DH are asleep and clueless upstairs.

Plus, at the minute he doesn't like sleeping with his bedroom door shut so we leave it half open but we won't be able to do that when he's in his new room otherwise he will be able to see into the living room, he will hear the TV and if he knows me and DH are in there I can't see him just happily going to sleep because he'll want to get out of bed and come join us.

Theee storey houses are a logistical nightmare!!

It sounds like you would be better in the room opposite the living room, or is It too tiny?

Yes, we have a stair gate across toddlers bedroom door, and then one across the landing so even if she did get out of her bedroom (which she's never tried) she'd have another gate to negotiate before she could get downstairs. She's just started asking for a wee during the night so I plan to take the gate off her bedroom door soon and swap it to her brothers when he moves into a bed later in the year so that she can use the bathroom on her own. She could get upstairs to our room off the landing but at 3.5 she's quite sensible on the stairs now so that doesn't worry me. I think yours would be fine. Check all your smoke alarms work, if it's a newish build house then they'll probably be wired in over all 3 floors like ours are, so that's some comfort too. And then with baby monitors in the room you'll be fine (I can usually hear them anyway). Only time I worry is if they're poorly or have been sick they usually sleep in our room, but that's few and far between and I think I'd let them do the same even if we were on the same floor.

It sounds like you would be better in the room opposite the living room, or is It too tiny?

That room is currently DS's playroom because our main living room just isn't big enough to have his toys in and so the plan was we'd just bring his bed downstairs and make it into his bedroom.

If me and DH move in there it means DS will have nowhere to have his toys. We could keep them upstairs I suppose but then it would mean traipsing them up and down stairs all day when he wanted to play with them or either myself or DH woykd have to just sit upstairs with him all evening whilst he played and neither options are practical really, especially when the new baby arrives.

DD1 was moved up to our top floor, above our room, shortly before we had DC2. No issues and in fact I think it's made her less likely to disturb us in the night (she's not a great sleeper) because she would have to come downstairs.

I see you have some issues re the living room but I think they can be solved. You can shut the living room door rather than his door. You could put a gate across his door or a gate on the stairs and a high up lock on the living room door. Or take that room yourself and put him upstairs?

Cross posted, sounds like that's the sensible place for his room.

Both of our dc are on the floor above us and been fine. Ds is 3 and in a bed so we have a gate across his door but dd is still in a cot. When she moves into a bed we'll move the gate to across the stairs and let them have the run of the top floor! Tbh I think having your ds on the same floor as your living room would be a bit of a nightmare, do you have room for a toy box in the living room you can just rotate toys in and give your ds the upstairs room with you and the new baby opposite the living room?

If there are rooms you don't want him to wander into at night (sounds like the living room for you) then you can always put a high level bolt or hook and eye on the outside which you close when you go to bed. We had issues with DD and bathrooms (let's just say she was fascinated by toilets) and now have extra bolts so we can close them off when necessary (not when someone is in there).

That's a great idea sheepy - I hadn't even thought of that.

Our previous house DS1 (then 3) was on the middle floor while we were on the top floor. Stair gate on his room sorted out his wanderings (although tbf it took him a month to realise he could get out of his bed when we moved him from his cot - he would just poddle round and round his bed calling for us). Now DS1 is 6 and on the ground floor whilst we are on the first floor. We have a second porch door which is bolted so they'd have to literally break it to get in so we'd definitely hear.