Bedtime with a 5/6 year old...?

[YoniFucker]

Would you be so kind as to share with me how bedtime works with your 5/6 year old? I'm trying to work out if bedtimes here are 'normal' or not.

My dd is 6 (year 1). Bed times have gone a bit wrong recently as we seem to have to pick her siblings up from clubs when she should be in bed, but in an ideal world and when her older siblings were younger, bedtime went like this:
5.15 tea
6 bath and then pajamas, followed by a short play while I sorted washing/tidied upstairs
6.45, story
7 (or as near to 7 as I can manage) into bed, lights down. Maybe allowed to read quietly/listen to audio book if all has gone smoothly.

How is bed time in your house at the moment?

Quiet time after 6, milk at 7, brush teeth, wash hands and face (bath 3 times per week so before milk if bathnight), stories, song and say goodnight. Awake when we leave the room and our deal is that we will come and check on her until she falls asleep, so dh or I pop in every 10 min or so. We just pop head into room and whisper something like, just checking on you, be back in 10 min until she doesn't answer. If she really can't sleep she's allowed to read in bed for a while.

Shares a room with 3yr old Dd2 so sometimes that disturbs her, but equally some nights they decide to share a bed and it's very sweet.

We have a newborn so it's changed a bit. But we go upstairs at 5:45. We sort out stuff for the next day, run the bath, brush his teeth, and he helps with getting things ready for the baby for the night. Then into the bath as soon as it is full. Out of the bath (and having brushed teeth by 6:10ish). I read till 6:30/35. And then he goes to his room and reads till 7. Sometimes he wants me to read till 7 and goes straight to bed.
(I do bedtime for the baby after he has gone to his room). Sometimes he will read the baby a story before going to his room.
Once he is in the room he will read till 7 and then shout through the monitor that he is going to sleep (and wake the baby) and he is usually silent after that and asleep within 15 mins or so. So in bed and asleep by 7:15.

He wakes up around 6:45 but stays in bed till I holler down the monitor that he can come up around 7. On weekends he isn't allowed out of bed before 7 and then comes straight up to talk incessantly at us. Today he went back to sleep in my bed for a blissful 20 mins (and the baby was asleep as well!).

Bath at 7ish then 'golden time' until 9pm. Gets stories in our bed then chats until finally asleep ca 10pm. When fully asleep gets carried into own bed.

I know.

Dinner at 6.15/6.30, finish dinner at 6.45 ish, upstairs, teeth brushed, in pyjamas and into bed. Bedtime story. Done by about 7. Kisses and cuddles, allowed to read in bed until 7.30.

1600 Pick up from childminder
1630 Tea
1700 Play
1800 Bath
1830 Reading / snack / milk
1900 Bed

DS is 6 (7 in Aug).

7.30pm shower & teeth. 7.45pm chapter of book (read to him). 8pm he reads/ listens to audio books until ready to sleep.

x2 weeknights he swims until 8pm, so home at 8.30pm. Story 8.45pm then usually sleeps straight away.

In the holidays he goes to bed at 8pm ish.

Tea about 6pm then up to bed, pretending to be chased by a dinosaur (inc noises). Into pyjamas and teeth, hands & face cleaned. Maybe an episode of Outnumbered on Netflix if there's been compliance giving me time for big cuddles. Story and into bed before a kiss and more cuddles. Finally asleep by 8.15pm or more dinosaur chasing and threat of daleks being let lose to roam the house and exterminate at will.

So, bedtime stories, songs, etc, still 'normal' at this age? And bedtimes last around 45 mins to an hour? (Bath, PJs, teeth, songs etc)?

Bedtimes cause issues here. I still think DS needs a lot of our attention at bedtime. When I'm in charge, TV gets turned off at 6.30 and everyone (we have a two year old as well) goes upstairs for bath/wash/teeth/PJs, then I do stories for DS2 while DS1 plays quietly in his room. After 2 stories I leave DS2 to self settle and go read two stories to DS1. I leave him awake and go back every 5-10 minutes for checks. I rarely have to go up more than once. It's not stressful.

DH thinks bedtime is a faff, that DS1 should be able to settle himself, that saying 'turn the kindle off when that programme finishes' should be enough. I just wanted to check that I wasn't being PFB.

Ds 5 we go up just before 7 (earlier on Bath nights which are sun, tue, thu) have a book every night, he feeds his fish, he sits with his baby brother watching them but we always leave him to it by 7.30. He keeps a night light on recently we've heard him chatting to himself for ages as he's decided that he now needs to think about his day 😂

It takes 45 mins here with a compliant 5 year old. But I like reading to him and that's my one uninterrupted reading time so I don't mind how long it takes.

he now needs to think about his day

DS does this too. Love them.

I like reading to him and that's my one uninterrupted reading time so I don't mind how long it takes.
I totally agree. I'm not sure I've ever worded it like that to DH though - maybe I'll try angling it like that.

Aim for 8pm school nights. No idea how people manage 7pm!!

I fully intend to read to DS throughout Primary. We read him books he can't access himself- either because of the vocabulary or because he needs to be able to ask questions/ discuss the content to understand it.

Ha, yes. I'm always aiming for 7pm, it never works!

My dtwins are 5 soon.

Dinner is at 5:30
Bath, stories, milk and teeth start at 6:15
Lights out betweem 7pm-7:30pm depending on what type of day they've had.

Dd is just 5. Dinner on weekdays is 6ish. Teeth, wash and pjs for 7.30. Reading stories til 8. Then I sit on her bed for however long it takes for her to settle and drop off. This often involves her chatting, playing and trying to sneak out of her room for an hour or so while I try to remain calm and quiet and put her back into bed umpteen times. Bedtimes can be v stressful and v long here.

I'd say that 'switch off and go upstairs' is more of a KS2 thing. So my 6yo goes upstairs, gets undressed, runs her bath, has a go at her own teeth and hair brushing and then calls me. I oversee bath, do her teeth and hair, tuck her in and cuddle / read a story. That takes about 45 minutes from about 6.00, then she can read until 7.00 on a school night.

My 9yo goes up at the same time, but just calls me when she's ready for cuddles (having done her own bath / teeth / hair / getting changed). Though she prefers it if I come and chat while she's in the bath, she can manage without. I try and be there for her bath about half the time.

Thank you. This wasn't an AIBU, but it's glad to realise I'm not

Ds is 6. He has some Sen including control issues so bedtime is short and very structured. Story has been downstairs for a while as it was too difficult for him upstairs, but recent weeks have meant we can do it in bed. If too much, we'll do it downstairs again. Upstairs about 5:40, teeth, toilet shower (maybe bath at weekend), pjs, bed, one story, one song from mummy, one song from ds, kiss and goodnight about 6:10 (later at weekend). He usually sings to himself for 10 mins as he falls asleep.

I still read to my nearly 10yo most nights, dreading the day he no longer wants a bedtime story.

But he hates reading to himself (he has dyslexia) so it's also partly because I'd rather try and keep him absorbing a book in some way than not at all.