Coping with being the not-favourite parent

[MrsSiba]

Has anyone else felt this way or has any advice?

I have a dd aged 2. She is at the stage of clearly displaying favourites and makes it clear she prefers Daddy to me for everything. It's heart breaking. She only wants him to put her to bed, feed her, take her to the loo, comfort her, sit near her. It's embarrassing when we are out or in company and I find myself holding back and letting DH see to her rather than be snubbed in public. I've tried to laugh it off saying ' she's a Daddy's girl, just like I was' but it does hurt. I know she's only 2 ... am I being ridiculous? !

You're not being ridiculous. It does hurt, but it is likely to change. My dd went through a phase of only wanting me when she was about that age, and I know that dh was really hurt by it even though like you, he felt a bit ridiculous being jealous of the fickle affections of a 2 year old! It ended abruptly though after a couple of months, and she's had periods of seeming closer to one or the other of us since, but it's mostly even (she's 5+ now).

It may or may not be relevant that I was working more out of home at the time when she was 2, and dh was at home with her during the day (working nights). We put her apparent preference for me down to him being the one she could take for granted, while my presence was less constant so when I was there it was my attention she craved. When we stuck on this hypothesis it made dh feel a little better and made me feel shit despite being the chosen one!!

*struck not stuck :)

You're not wrong to feel hurt, but children are fickle creatures and a few months from now you could be yearning for the days when your toddler hadn't turned into a limpet, and you could poo in peace.

Not much comfort now, I know, but it is a phase.

What is she like when dh isn't there?

Thank you for replies. Glad it's not just me. Hope it is a phase!

That's interesting Jupiter as it is me that does pick up and drop offs so I can see why she may take me for granted. I think DH said smtg similar about 3 months ago when I first mentioned it. I know he feels bad for me.

When dh is not around she's fine with me, it's just when there is a choice.