Nursery from month 6

[MakiJ]

Hello I'm nervous that my only son is going to nursery from month 6, due to the fact that I'm returning to work soon and can't afford to be on maternity leave I found a lovely nursery near home and they seem to be well established with a good reputation but I'm worried that I am going to miss so many exciting moments as he gets older and develops. Also I feel like a loser not being able to give my time on him, playing with him, helping him grow and develop.. I would love to know if your little precious one has been at nursery since early stage, any advice and tips would be appreciated

Also I feel like a loser not being able to give my time on him, playing with him, helping him grow and develop

Really ?
You need to give your head a wobble.
You are going to work because you believe it is the right thing to do to give him the best start in life - you know, things like a roof over his head and food on the table.

I was going to give you some reassuring sympathy up until that sentence, but that really is an odd thing to say.

Maybe OP means she feels she's losing out?
It will be tough op but would probably be tough at any age, even if you were off work until he started school.
You'll still have time for just you and him. I find it helps to make a real effort to do things with them when I'm off work rather than the chores eg go to playgroup, library, farm and do chores when they if they ever sleep.

Also my two went to nursery when they were one but not walking and I asked the staff not to tell me if they took their first steps there as I couldn't bear missing something like that. So you can ask for that sort of thing.

My 11 month old has just started nursery and I am sure that even if you were a SAHM you would feel like this when they started school. Nuraery staff said the 6 month olds settle in best as they have not watched separate anxiety and when they do they have already bonded with the staff. Most nursery have a policy of not telling you about firsts.

You know this is the best thing thing for your family, for your baby's and your long term financial stability and he will mostly have better educational outcomes but your reactions is an entirely normal emotionally reaction.

How you have to go to work yet? Is there anyway you can stay at home longer as this is what you want, mortgage holiday, big lifestyle change or borrowing money from parents?

My daughter started nursery for 2.5 days a week at 7 months and almost a year on she still loves it. I had the same concerns as you re milestones but for my DD she seemed to partially reach them for a few weeks before mastering the skill- e.g. When she started walking she probably took a wobbly step around 11 months but didn't start walking properly until 13 months, so I didn't feel as though it was this huge moment I missed out on.

One thing I would say is that DD had an amazing keyworker who gave her really consistent care. Obviously this is important at any age but for young babies especially I think they need that one on one with a particular person

Thank you ladies

My kids went from 6 months. Just ensure you try to set up play dates when a bit older to keeep in touch with the other parents - I didn't do that and my kids don't get to many parties or social engagements. My kids like loved nursery

My eldest went to nursery FT from 7mths, he's now a well rounded albeit cheeky nearly 9yo and although I missed something's i don't feel I missed out in the general scheme of things.
I also had less days when I just had had enough as he was driving me crazy... His 1yo brother is doing that quite well! I love the 1day a week he goes to nursery so I can work and don't do any baby stuff at all - I think it makes me saner! 2 days would be ideal but my business can't quite afford that yet.

Thank you Lush, reassuring I got NCT groups so I will keep in touch with them

Mine went to nursery younger than that. In many countries it is the norm and in many family situations it is a necessity. Don't feel guilty, OP. Just enjoy all the time that you do have with him. He will love being at nursery with many stimuli and friends.

My DD was full time at nursery from.6 months ( a couple of days a week from 4 months just to protect my sanity). She was fine. Nurseries don't always get tiny babies so the staff tend to love popping in for baby cuddles. Several of the staff made really meaningful relationships with her and she thrived.

Three years later, DD is still well adjusted and happy full time in nursery.

I've got my sanity and my career has continued to move on.

It's definitely the best thing for our family.

Choose the nursery carefully. Personally I would go with a childminder at this age but definitely ensure they have very low staff turnover and continuity of care.

I would also try to find somewhere that is calm not too noisy, as high cortisol levels in babies in nursery can be an issue.

aww Mumsnetters always cheer me up and give me amazing support and great advice thank you so much! my baby Lucas sending you a kiss