Is it normal to feel tired all the time?

[nuttyslackster]

I have a 9 month old who is a much easier baby than in the early days. Much more able to self settle and entertain, will generally sleep through the night from 7pm til 5-6am. Baby also isn't on the move yet so that makes life easier. So I am now getting an average of 7 hours of sleep per night (albeit sometimes less and rarely unbroken), usually one lie in at the weekend and baby has two decent naps a day which gives me a break. But even so, I don't feel much less tired than when I was up through the night doing multiple night feeds! Is this normal? I should add that my DP is very supportive and more than does his bit in terms of helping around the house and with the baby (when he's not at work). So all things considered I feel like I have things relatively easy at the moment, but still I never feel fully rested. I wonder if I will ever get my previous energy back, and worry how it will impact my performance when I go back to work. Is being a parent synonymous with being permanently tired?!

for me it is, I have 2 dcs aged 7 and 5, and feel nearly always tired

It geys easier the older they get but very slowly. Before ds2 came along ds1 was 4 and at nursery i felt only a bit tired all the time. Now i have a 5 yr old doing school, activities and playdates and an 8 month old who is convinced he can run around like his brother when he cant even stand up so is constantly face planting the floor i feel like if someone took my kids for an hour I could easily curl up on the pavement and sleep.

I think its not just the sleeping it's the constant need for attention and love it can suck you dry. I found i was less tired when i was working or at college because i had space from the relentlessness of someone needing you ALL the time.

If you think there could be more to it go to the doctors and get your bloods done.

I felt unusually tired for a while and I was Vit D deficient. I definitely feel better now!

You could also be low on iron.

My ds is 18mo. Still bfing, still co sleeping and still has never slept through. I'm in a permanent state of tiredness. Just keep clinging on to the fact that it'll be fine one day 🙏

I would see the gp to get bloods done etc to rule anything out.

I've been permanently exhausted since dd was born 21 months ago! Totally wiped out despite her sleeping through since 4 months with the odd blip here and there (sleep regression etc).

Finally got around to mentioning it to the gp.... apparently I'm anaemic. And following a sleep study I've been diagnosed with sleep apnoea! So I was dismissing it as been exhausted from looking after dd but it wasn't "just" that.

Thanks for all the advice and yes, maybe a visit to the GP is in order just to check all is as it should be. My Vit D levels should be ok as taking a supplement daily, but not sure about iron and I remember my midwife saying I was on the low side during pregnancy.

I agree about the relentlessness of parenting - as the primary career it is definitely draining being needed all the time and being the one mainly responsible for decisions about DC's wellbeing. (DH will get a taste of it soon as he's taking shared parental leave so I can go back to work). Hopefully work (which I enjoy) will be the mental break that I need and that will help with the physical side.

Glad you're going to get checked out OP

I went to the doctor after feeling overly tired for a long time - secretly I was hoping to find I was deficient in something so I could take a few pills and feel better.

Unfortunately (or fortunately if you're a glass half full kind of person) everything was fine an GP said it was lifestyle (2 young kids, demanding job).

Even with kids of 7 and 5, there is no real down time or relaxation (whole day watching telly? No chance!), even on holiday. So it makes sense that we're all tired compared to life pre-children.

You should definitely get yourself checked though.

I was like this and turns out I have an underactive thyroid - on meds now. Still knackered but not as bad as I was!

It's tough, isn't it? I was tired all the time until DS was about 2. The broken sleep of the early baby period is only one small factor that contributes to the fatigue. Older babies and young children are still exhausting. Parenthood is relentless. Even when we're not actually tending to the kids, we are thinking about what's next. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Another possibility is if you have changed contraception since you had your baby. I went on the implant for the first time after having DS and I think it has affected me in some ways (headaches, appetite changes).

I second those suggesting a wee trip to the GP.

I'm always tired and fall asleep on the sofa at 9pm every night. My DS is 2 and sleeps 7.30pm to 5.30/6am/7am/7.30am. I work 4 days a week and boy herd on Fridays. Never get a lie in or day off! It is exhausting, this parenting lark!

You didn't mention whether you're still breastfeeding - I found my energy levels went up a lot when I stopped breastfeeding (at just under a year) and cycles returned. Must have been some sort of hormonal thing (I wasn't on any hormonal contraception). I lost quite a bit of weight over the next few months which I think was also hormonal changes as I was still eating loads.
Also agree about getting checked though - I had iron deficiency when baby was about 5 months and just felt like I was dragging myself through the day - I felt so much perkier on iron supplements.

7 hours of broken sleep = tired. It takes ages to feel completely rested again once they reliably sleep through as you bred to relax enough to sleep through again too!

I feel fine now and have done since around 18 months old

Thanks for all the support! Was woken today at 4.45 so am feeling it today The consensus seems to be that parenthood is indeed pretty exhausting due to its relentless nature and the fact that you're caring for another living being that is dependent on you for pretty much every single thing! But I will definitely check the iron thing too. Interesting comment about breastfeeding affecting energy levels - perhaps that's part of it. Not worrying about contraception currently.

Definitely get checked out at your GP. While I think a certain amount of tiredness is just part and parcel of being a parent, there are degrees to it and sometimes it's hard to judge whether how you're feeling is normal or not.

After I had DD1 I too felt constantly exhausted to the point where people like my DH were commenting on it, and it turned out I'd developed kidney problems from an auto immune condition. On the other hand, since DD2's come along I'm often really tired and mentally drained too, but I can tell this time it's just from the relentlessness of 2 kids and work...

I am tired all the time. I have 3dc. In my experience the fog of tiredness doesn't really lift until you get consistent reasonable sleep, and also when the constant neediness stops- it is the constant demands on my attention that really exacerbate my exhaustion. Currently ds3 is 20 months, still wakes at night, and still requires constant attention. It's incredibly draining. He finally slept through the night for the last 7 days and I've felt more tired during the days, as if my body has remembered sleep and wants more of it! Once they get to the stage where everything isn't a battle, they sleep well, and you can do things like make a phone call in peace or just sit and drink a drink while they play I found the exhaustion subsides a little. Being emotionally drained is very challenging day after day, even though it's lovely to be at home, it is non stop.