Is it normal to feel like this?

[HCantThinkOfAUsername]

I have 2 ds. With ds1 I had pnd (and finally diagnosed bipolar).
Ds2, nearly 1, I felt that instant rush of love that I'd heard but never felt before, loved being a mum and my MH was under control.

Now, it sounds awful, but I just hate being a mum, I get irritated so easily (I make sure I don't take it out on them) and just feel so fed up. My anxiety is back awful and I just don't want to leave the house.

Is it possible to have late onset pnd or is this normal? I feel so guilty feeling like this, I look forward to bedtime for them every night. They don't deserve this :(

I would say that you need to have a full and frank discussion with GP

How are you managing the bipolar?

How old are they both? Do you have much support?

Parenting is relentless, particularly when they're tiny. I agree you could have a chat with your GP but I think it's normal to find it a struggle and long for bedtime! But a chat with the GP might help determine between the usual frustration and irritation and something more, which you could get help with.

Medicated with bipolar (lithium propranolol & fluoxetine) had no major episode since 3 years ago.
DC are 4 & 11months.

Hv coming today so I'll speak to her

How was it talking to the HV OP?

Useless basically!
She said it could be late onset pnd.
My partner spoke to her saying he was concerned about me and my moods so she's asked my cpn to come round sometime soon.
I've thought about it and I'm becoming a recluse without realising too which hasn't helped, so tried to go for a walk but I couldn't.
This isn't helpful for my DC at all :(

They'll be fine, they don't need huge amounts of outside occurrence at those ages.

Maybe the GP is the best idea to get things moving and get some help? As well as the cpn?

Be kind to yourself. Even if the HV wasn't great it was positive you opened up and spoke your truth. Keep going.