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Parenting

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Original poster

How would you deal with/punish over this issue???

23 replies

fannyannie · 09/03/2007 19:13

DS1 (6 1/2yrs old) has again (and I must stress again as he's done it before and we thought he'd stopped) taking food from the kitchen that he knows isn't his.

Today he opened a packet of crisps - took a few and left the packet so it looked like it hadn't be touched. He knew they were crisps I'd bought for myself as only 1/2hr before he'd asked me who they were for.

Yesterday I went to get one of my Twix bars out the cupboard and discovered they were all gone - thought I must have finished them and not realised, but when I asked him today he admitted he'd taken those, and also biscuits out the biscuit tin without asking.

He knows when he gets in from school if he wants something to eat he only has to ask, and I usually give both the DS's 2 biscuits when he gets in and have in the past made him a sandwich to keep him going until dinner time.

How would you deal with it???

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hunkermunker · 09/03/2007 19:14

Can you do him a snack box? So he can help himself?

Greensleeves · 09/03/2007 19:17

Is there any reason why he shouldn't have access to food if he's hungry?

I think it's bizarre to want to punish a child for eating when he feels he needs to eat. If your set-up doesn't allow for him to do so, I would change it.

Crisps not ideal though

Original poster

fannyannie · 09/03/2007 19:23

Greensleeves - I've never stopped my children snacking through the day - I'd go insane with the constant whining if I didn't LOL - but he KNEW that the chocolate and crisps were mine as he's already asked me. They're not usually in the house but as I've been craving them this pg they're here. I'm quite happy for him to have a sandwich/biscuit/fruit etc etc when he gets in from school - and as I said in my OP have in the past given him those things (2 biscuits 'standard' getting in from school everyday!).

It's the taking food he knows that isn't his and trying to hide the evidence I'm cross about. Last time it was some of DH's work snacks that he was taking - again things he knew belonged to DH (DH spend all of the day in the car/walking between houses so has plenty of 'supplies' in the car to keep him going).

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hunkermunker · 09/03/2007 19:28

Does he have snacks that "belong" to him? Can he have more choice over his snacks? And if they're yours and you know he does this, put 'em high up

Greensleeves · 09/03/2007 19:30

Could you haev a specific box/drawer which is kept stocked up with snacks he can help himself to without asking?

If that was available, and he still chose to take other people's personal things (dh's snacks) furtively, then I probably would be a bit cross.

I'm not having a go at you, I'm just trying to help from the "deal with" angle rather than the "punish" angle

Original poster

fannyannie · 09/03/2007 19:32

not 'solely' (sp) belong to him - can't afford to buy everyone individual snacks (well apart from pg cravings ). But he does know there's a wide(ish) vareity of things he can have.

I would put 'em up high - except I can't reach the top shelves properly now (growing bump - well actually struggle with the top shelves anyhow because of height LOL) and he just climbs onto something to get them out - DH's things that he took a while back were on the top shelf.

Unfortunately the 'height' thing doesn't help - I have a 6 1/2yr old who is rapidly catching me up )

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FrayedKnot · 09/03/2007 19:36

I am watching this thread with interest as DS (nearly 3) helped himslef to a second cereal bar the otehr day without asking and then obviously thought better of it and put it back so when I found it, had one corner open and a furtive bite taken out of it...

Any "banned substances" are hidden in our house, and I can see I will still be hiding them when he's 6.

I think the "snack box" or cupboard idea is good with things he can help himslef to and then things you definitely do not want him to have are put away.

Perhaps the temptation is just too much for him still at this age?

Soapbox · 09/03/2007 19:36

I think it is rather unfair for mum to have all the attractive snacks and he has the less attractive options.

I suspect he really wanted that packet of crisps rather than a sandwich or piece of fruit.

I think if treat food is allowed in the house at all, it should really be for everyone to share.

Eating crap like that isn't good for you when you;re pregnant anyway - congratulate him on doing you a favour

kittywaitsfornumber6 · 09/03/2007 19:44

My kids aren't allowed to touch any food in the kitchen without asking me first. I think that is basic respect.
If you can't trust to son not to take your food, (and btw I think it is completely ok for you to have food which is yours and that they must not touch.) then I would hide that food from him.
If one of mine did that my punishment would be to withdraw the kinds of snack foods they like, say it was biscuits, for a week. They could snack on fruit, toast etc, but no 'crap snacks'. If they continued to steal the favoured foods would continue to be withdrawn.
I think you're right to be very cross about this, good luck

nally · 09/03/2007 19:47

Hunker-norks-munker - Can I have some advice please as well???

I have never had a problem with my kids eating healthy snacks during the day, but have found that when it comes to main meals they won't eat a thing because they have filled up on other stuff. They have never been that good with food anyway. Although I don't necessarily want them to have to stick to rigid mealtimes, I would like for us to be able to sit down as a family for a cooked dinner.

Help me!!

jalopy · 09/03/2007 19:47

My kids aren't allowed to help themselves to anything in the kitchen. They have to ask first.

Original poster

fannyannie · 09/03/2007 19:47

He doesn't even like the flavour of crisps that I bought (pickled onion - which is funny as I craved them when Pg with him LOL) and he knows it - as when we're out and I do treat them to a packet of crisps instead of a 10p lollypop he always says that he doesn't like them (hence the reason he opened them took only a few and then left the rest.

The twixes were actually hidden at the back of the cupboard and required some moving of 'stuff' to get to them.

I might try a snack box.......but then it's going to be difficult to gauge how much he's snacking - as he does have a (very cute) tendencey to share any of his snacks (even those tiny packs of Haribo sweets he occasionaly gets given from friends at school) with DS2...........

Now why can't he be like DS2 and try to steal the bananas, bread and cheese LOL.

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CAM · 09/03/2007 19:48

I don't have any food in my house that dd can't have, there is no my food or dh's food.Occasionally there might be dd's food as in treats from parties etc or treats just because...

The only thing that dd can't have is the alcohol.

Therefore this issue has never arisen for me and actually I don't understand it.

Original poster

fannyannie · 09/03/2007 19:52

It's not so much that they can't have DH's work snacks, or that I wouldn't give him one of my Twix bars if he asked. But when there are only a tiny number of 'treat' things in the house that are bought for one particular person and all the other treat stuff is 'general' purpose. It's more the taking without asking and trying to hide the evidence.

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yellowvan · 09/03/2007 19:53

I'm with Soapy, the decent snacks should be shared by all. Maybe designate a weekly "pig out" day where choc and crisps are allowed by everyone. Do you eat snacks secretly and hide the evidence from him? Could he be copying your behaviour?
I wouldn't punish, but try to discourage by removing opportunity, that's another vote for the snack box then.

Original poster

fannyannie · 09/03/2007 19:54

lol - do I hide the evidence.......ermm I don't think so DH is constantly nagging at me to clear up next to the computer as it's covered in cr*p packets .

When the DS's have cr*p food treats they do at least know to put the rubbish in the bin without being told

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nally · 09/03/2007 19:55

Snackboxes would not work in my house! They would have emptied it into their tums by 10am and then be begging for more for the rest of the day!!!!

Original poster

fannyannie · 09/03/2007 19:58

thing is they HAVE decent snacks - biscuits, raisins (which they both adore and nag me to buy everytime I go to the shops), bananas, nuts, lollipops on almost every trip to the shops with them, DH buys them Kinder Buerno's (or whatever they're called) and the likes frequently, they go to McD's occasionaly, etc etc etc.

It's just DH's snacks aren't particularly cheap (he's a big eater and leaving home at 10/11am and not getting back until 9.30pm (so missing 'lunchtime' and 'dinnertime') he needs plenty to keep him going.

And my snacks - well they're only here because I'm pg

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strongteabag · 09/03/2007 20:24

I wouldn't buy chocolate and crisps, leave it in full view and then punish the kids for eating it, it seems a bit like double standards. However, if you had already explained to him that that was for the baby in yout tummy (or whatever!) AND MADE SURE FOOD WAS AVAILABLE/accesible then fair enough, he needs telling because he has ignored you.

I would be sad though to keep yummy food all to myself, food is for sharing. Maybe tell him that you will share your twix or crisps with you when you have them and he might be able to wait, or think about you when he goes to the cupboard?

Original poster

fannyannie · 09/03/2007 20:28

I'm not sure that in the back of the cupboard behind other things is "in full view". And food is ALWAYS available for the DS's to snack on.

If I had an endless budget of money to spend on "yummy" food then I'd buy lots of packets of Twixes and Crisps for "me" and let the DS's help themselves - but I don't - so we have a "ask if you want something to eat" policy in this house......

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fannyannie · 09/03/2007 20:31

as they said they hadn't got enough staff trained in epi-pen use,

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Original poster

fannyannie · 09/03/2007 20:32

ooops - not sure where that came from!!

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Greensleeves · 09/03/2007 20:56

There is also the fact that fatty/salty/sugary snacks set up cravings for more, that's how they work on the body. Fruit/veg/rice cake type snacks etc tend to be better in that sense I think. I find it virtually impossible to stop if I start eating things like crisps or chocolate.

I don't know what you can do FA, if he has free access to snacks but is just belligerent;y stealing other people's earmarked stuff even when it's something he doesn't like. Is he angry or worried about something?

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