Potty Training 2+ year old... ...thought we were getting somewhere???

[Kamryn]

Help....

... getting despondant!

Ella showing all signs ready for potty training quite a while ago, we tried her and she definately wasn't ready, hundreds (slight exaggeration!) of accidents. Left it a few months and tried again in New Year. She seemed to be doing really well with more hits than misses, preferred toilet to potty and only had occasional drop in knickers and then she would hold until we made it to toilet. Wet patches were getting smaller and smaller and more recetnly no or very rare floods.

Ella not so good on the poo front (most in her pants) but helath visitor said that would follow.

To cut long story short we now seem to be heading into total regression, loads of accidents, not asking to go or blatently standing in front of me and weeing all over!

Very frustrating as really thought we'd cracked it.

Any advice on the regression and what to do most appreciated and any ideas about the poo thing???

She's two and half.

This toilet training business is the worst thing about parenting. Even worse than mw putting her finger up your bum postpartum, imo.

My ds wasn't ready to do without nappies till he was over 3 I'm afraid. I tried him several times before - desperate to get him out, but he was adamant. Breakthrough came after he was allowed to cavort naked on the beach. Then he was really good at peeing but poo'd his pants for nearly a year after. Drove me distracted.

If I were you I'd put her back in nappies and say, oh well, you're not ready yet. Then try again in a month or two. Meanwhile try to show her other children using potty/toilet and getting lots of praise.

I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time. So galling when other people's children seem to train themselves at 18 months (while splitting the atom, gaining Nobel prize etc). Mine were all hard work in the t.training dept too.

Thanks. Feel better that she's not the only one doing the whole (not so glamorous) poo in the pants thing! I'm a bit in limbo though as she will not wear nappies either. Its a battle every night to get one on for bedtime!

She was doing really well until recently as I said before. We even went for a weekend to Manchester (130 mile trip from home) a couple of weeks ago with no accidents in the car as she asked twice to go, held on til the next layby and sucessfully used potty.

I'm sooooooooo frustrated as really thought we'd cracked it! and you are sooo right about the other children thing, we are in a group of four mums and similar aged toddlers that meet at each others house once a week. One girl dry since 18 months and now just two and dry through night ( although she stood an peed right in front of her mum in the middle of our local parent and toddler group a couple of weeks ago, mean I know but I had to laugh as mum had been very smug over how well her DD had done!!!!!) other in our group , a boy has also been dry for ages even though he can't say more than two or three words so how she acheived that I'll never know!!!

Think perserverance is the key but its soooooo hard not to loose your rag when you've got a washing pile to envy a chinese laundry!!!!

Thanks for advice!

Kam x

This may sound silly, but it could be that she is actually ready to sleep without a nappy. If you have a waterproof mattress protector it could be worth a try. My ds was out of nappies at night almost simultaneously with dropping the daytime nappy. They do not have to be totally reliably dry during the day for the nighttime nappy to be dispensed with. Also, you could use it as a bargaining chip.

At one time I had 2 dds who regularly wet the bed, but ds has had v few bedwetting accidents.

Mmmm could be...

... must admit hadn't really thought of that as had got a bit caught up with the numerous accidents and apparent regression during the daytime! Might be worth the whole "you're such a grown up, big girl not having to wear nappies at all thingy!! Hopefully to encourage her during the day. She often gets up, takes her nappy off and uses the potty in her room and then calls me to show off her triumph!!!

Thanks, its just goes to show others often pick up the things you don't!!!

Cheers, Kam x

I'd be interested to know how you get on with this. Good luck. And remember, not many 5 year olds start school incontinent.

she may be ready for nights, my DS was 2.2 when he decided to drop the nappy and 2mths later he decided no nappies at night. Must admit I was pessimistic as he had not had a single dry nappy at night and had seemed to be having trouble in day for a couple of days but he was fine. He had 2 accidents and that was it and its been a year now.

Trying the cool calm appraoch today (think I'm getting obsessed with it!!). Potty right near her but letting her take the responsibility for using it. So far so good (i know its only 10am!) a wee and a poo on pot (not in knickers, which is a beakthrough in itself) after she took her nappy off before i got into her this a.m.
I'll let you know how we get on!
Kam x

Things are looking up, Kam .

We're going through this with my DD who is also 2.5 - we decided to put her back into nappies and she was desperately sad and cried loads 'me no baby girl, me big girl now'. So heartbreaking but so hard to deal with wees and poos all over the shop after weeks of doing so well. She is bored of all her reward chart type things too so we're pretty fed up TBH. I'm glad your DD is doing better now - hope it lasts! I agree how sickening it is when all the other toddlers you know seem to be so darn good at it!

How will you decide when it's time to try again, Jenkywoo?

Ive got a little mindee 2 on Wednesday, who has been dry day and night for about a month, we had a few poo's in the pants, for the first few days, but now fine. (he is very young for a boy, after 26 years of minding would definitely say boys are usually nearer 3)

We started off by letting him go naked for the first week, then into pants only for a week, then into trousers. I think they need to have stages so its not so hard to get onto the potty/toilet.

I'm fully behind the theory, they will only potty train when they are ready, i never put a child on a potty till they ask, it is kept at the bottom of the stairs, and one day he just decided he wanted to use it, we had a few accidents the first day naked then got the hang, wet pants the fist day in pants then again got the hang of it, so far touch wood (we are trying soft play without a nappy today)we have had no wet trousers.

Do you know anyone else who is potty training often find if I have 1 training, then the younger one wants to try as well, usually they both end up dry.

I don't think we can go back really, I don't want to. It's weird because if I put her in a nappy she is quite happy to wee and poo in it and doesn't seem to mind being wet or dirty again - whereas before potty training she hated having a yucky nappy on. We're trying again this morning to be really positive and it has been ok - mainly wees on the pot but she did go and wee in the play room on the toy book a minute after I asked her if she wanted to go on the potty and she said no. We'll see how we go - I don't want to make it a battle ground because she is my little lovey and life's too short to flap about it all but equally I don't want her taking the p*ss and deliberately weeing everywhere!

Think my little lovely is taking the p*ss literally!!! She's been at nursery today which I appreciate has its many distractions but two weeks ago she was practically dry there too with only one or two wet knicks a day, today she's come home in a pull-up and five no less changes of outfits and eight pairs of wet knickers!!!!!! They are happy to carry on and don't advise putting her back in nappies. Ella is a bright little button and they and I to a point think she is playing up.

She is also fed up of the reward chart business, tried to start it up again with 10 stars = a reward which she chose would be a magazine, but we have no where near acheived the 10 stars!!!

This is sooooooo difficult, don't want to regress back to nappies and don't think she'd have it anyway but am still despondant that she was so nearly dry and now seems to have more 'accidents' than when we started.

Aghhhh, this is worse than sleepless nights!!!

Sorry you're going through this too, we're at the same thing too with the rewards, she's just not fussed any more and we seem to be offering bigger and bigger rewards with no success. She even peed on my breastfeeding cushion yesterday and my other daughter was screaming to be fed - I was nearly in tears. like you we really don't want to go back to nappies - she doesn't want to either but I just feel stuck.

Jenkywoo - sounds like classic case of jealousy. I well remember rushing round the house clearing up before having a Dorling Kindersley party while the baby was asleep. Just before every one was due to arrive, found toddler sitting in the baby's buggy having wee'd an enormous puddle in it. The lovely DK lady then arrived in time to help me deal with my rage and frustration, and get the detachable buggy covers into the washing machine.

Happy days!