Don't want DS to go to nursery...am i being silly?

[DetentionGrrrl]

I'm going back to work on Monday, 4 days a week, Mon-Thur.

Because my childminder can only do Mon-Wed, DS (8.5 mths) is going to nursery on a Thursday.

The closer work gets, the less happy i am. I want to get out of the house, i want to work a bit, and (dare i say it) i want a break from DS a bit But i don't feel happy with him going to nursery- it's clean and safe, and the staff are fine, but when i've collected him from his settling in sessions he's wound up, tired, hasn't slept, doesn't eat as much lunch etc. When i get him from childminders he's happy, playful, napped and eaten well.

I feel like i should only go back 3 days and keep him out of there, but i don't know if i'm just being silly, worrying over nothing, or if i should follow my instincts over it.

It could just be a panic about going back to work.

God i'm waffling now. Any ideas or experience anyone?

It could just be the over-stimulation of being around other kids. It's taken both my DSs a couple of weeks to settle in when they started nursery, and they both adore it now (DS2 is nearly 10 months and has been there for 2 months - he is happy to go in in the morning, and is always smiling when I arrive in the evening)
Give it a few weeks and see what it's like.

It's tough going back to work - but lots of us have done it and are here to talk if you need it.

i think he likes the consistency of the childminders- ie there's just her, and maybe 2 or 3 other kids. i think at nursery he's passed from person to person. I think he's just too young for that environment.

i suppose i'll give it a chance. just dreading it.

dg, as much as I'm a vocal supporter of nurseries, I do think 8.5 months is quite young and it can be overwhelming for many children that age. It's probably going to take him longer than a few days to settle down, and I really don't understand why nurseries don't offer longer induction periods. It may also be that you are feeling apprehensive about going back to work. Are you a 100% convinced of the quality of the nursery???

Maybe try a different nursery. Mine both went to nursery from about the same age as yours but the nursery is split into little rooms so the babies are in a room with 2 or 3 babies and 1 or 2 carers. The same carers are there every day and they follow the parents routine so it is like a childminders really. As they get older (18mnths +) they enjoyed the social interaction and the facilities and activities in nursery.

Can you do three days till he's a bit bigger? Would your childminder have him a fourth day in the future or will she never be able to have him?

I would follow my instincts wrt childcare, always.

I, too, would go with my instincts. If it's possible for you to do the 3 days to start with then I think that's what I would do. Maybe go to the 4 days when he is older.

Maybe give it a bit more time. I didn't want to send my dd to nursery at all and at first she HATED it but two weeks into it she was fine and now absolutely loves it. Also maybe YOU need to settle back in to work as much as he needs to settle in to nursery IYKWIM

But if you're not happy with it, he will probably not be either and better to take him out than put yourself through hell with it.

Good luck

I think it's probably quite hard to jugde the situation properly from just the settling in visits but I agree that the difference in atmosphere may be why your son seems happier with the childminder. Also he will have a 1-1 interaction with his cm and will therefore bond with her more quickly. At nursery he will probably have a key worker but it is impossible for him to be looked after by just that one person all day, so he will have to build relationships with two or three members of the baby room team (although he will most likely bond with kw first) This process does take time.

Always follow your instincts over what's best for you little boy, you know him, better than anyone. You are not being silly or worrying over nothing, you just love him and want him to be happy. I think from your post you sound like you would quite like to work 3 days instead of 4 so if you can, do it! You can always increase your hours when ds is older.