Anyone else ever feel like they're doing a shxt job?

[Chattycat78]

Just that really. I have a 2 year old and a 10 month old (17 month gap).

2 year old massive challenge right now. He kicks me every time I stop him doing something, massive tantrums, refuses to get in the buggy or put his shoes on, or his coat.

Every Time I go out it's a massive struggle. At playgroup we re the last to leave every time as he refuses to come home and kicks and throws himself on the floor when I try to put him in the buggy. I end up loosing my temper with him and raising my voice/telling him I'm leaving without him. This happened earlier today when I was struggling to put his coat on (he was on the floor at this point) to leave playgroup. I could see some of the other mums looking at me and I feel really crappy about it all now. It also seems like every other child is behaving impeccably. Am I doing a terrible job? I even thought that another mum could report me to social services if they didn't like me raising my voice and grappling with him, but what else am I supposed to do? He won't listen to me, and he weighs 2 and a half stone (I'm very small!).

Am I being too hard on myself or am I crap?
Would another mum report me just for this? I know people can be funny about things. I suppose I'm paranoid as I don't know how to handle him.

The baby is also suffering as it feels like the toddler is always the main focus.

Any advice?

You're in a really tough stage here, don't be so hard on yourself!

I've been there with my eldest ds, he's never been one to listen so have had loads of similar situations. I've learnt that I had to tell him what was happening rather than ask, and also to ignore anyone who rather unhelpfully stares at us.
Have you tried giving a warning about time to go? Let him know 5 minutes before you intend to leave, then another 2 minute warning. When it's time to go try using language like "right DS, it is time to go now." Rather than asking. If he doesn't comply then you shivvy him along and don't give him a choice. You'll probably get a lot of screaming first few times but they eventually realise that they will have to do as you say

Also have you tried any distraction techniques? Can you safely have a mini race to the pushchair? Or have a small reward for him listening and getting in the chair?

Again, be kind to yourself. It's a tough job and you sound like a lovely mum

Thanks. Yeah hopefully it's a hard stage. A Warning sounds like a good idea - maybe he's being taken by surprise! It wouldn't be so bad trying to chivvy him along if I wasn't also holding a baby at the same time

I should also say my house is a tip, I can't get on top of the washing or cleaning, and mealtimes are chaos!

Thanks again for the support though. I don't really have anyone in real life to say this stuff to. My mum isn't alive and I'm in a new area where I've only made superficial friends with other mums.