Are you the kind of parent that you expected/hoped you'd be?

[OrmIrian]

I'm not. Having spent the first 30 something years of my life being laidback, tolerant to a fault, gently spoken, I turned into a much less self-effacing soul after my DS#2 was born. From being the mother who'd have all the kids in the street in my kitchen making bread and letting them all trash the place, I've become the kind of mother that has to suppress growls when kids ask to come in and who has no compuction about kicking them out when I've had enough. Less patient, less jolly, much less-earth mothery. Baby no 3 changed me as a parent so much more than I ever thought it would. But I'm also not so much of a doormat and starting to get back some kind of life for myself. So maybe it's not all bad. It's taken 3 kids to get there.

I hardly recognise myself sometimes. Anyone else?

no, i'm not patient enough, which disappoints me greatly.

I'm grumpier (and then feel terrible at the end of the day when my beautiful precious dd is in bed and resolve to do better the enxt day ) than i thought (and i was pretty moody anyhow).

Everyone thought i was a natural - i loved kids, did heaps of babysitting, loved lodging with a family with 3 kids before i got married. then i had dd and I struggled. I still do at times. I love it too but i certainly struggle and am no longer as natural with everyone else's kids because of course they're not my dd. lol.

Also I find it hard (but do succeed, i hope) to reign in that instinct of" little jonny can write his name perfectly why does dd do hers back to front, down the page and confusedly?". I hate it when i think it cos i know all cildren are different and it will do them no god to be nagged and compared!!!

I am surprised at my endless supply of patience (but then dd is only 8 months). on the other hand, am bit disappointed that I don't find it compelling to spend the day playing with her; in fact I can only do it in short bursts and am pleased that there is other stuff ie housework that needs to be done.

No. I am generally a bad mother.

gosh twiglett, EXACTLY the same here, even down to the Irish DH.
Not quite made it to the baking stage yet but dd is only 17 months so plenty time to practise...

different to how i expected ( lazier) but i am VERY PLEASED with how things have worked out for me
From a shit start with zero role model I am pretty chuffed with my bairns and our relationships.
So - yeah- on the whole - I am

Can identify with the temper thing- took kids and a husband to make me realise mine needed somethi^ng done about it.

Sadly no...I'm too stressed out that I'm not the perfect mother and DS is not the perfect child. And I think the first point is the cause of the second.

I really need a councillor don't I

Sadly, no.
Thought I'd be far more patient and just more sort of dynamic and interesting, somehow! Found things hard with one, muddled along, but since having 2 I feel like a permanent grump, which actually makes me very sad

I am not -- far more pathetic and emotionally needy than I ever have been in any other relationship...

I adore my kids so much I can hardly have a conversation with them that is not based on adoration and telling them how much I love them.. Am blind to their faults, not that they have any, and I am overjoyed by their telling me they love me all the time... this from someone who never tells OH that she even likes him, never mind loves him and is totally devoid of need of affirmation from partners or family... but my kids make me needy which reflects in my parenting -- always thought I would be more like a benign victorian parent.. oh no!!

I am so completely the opposite it is funny. Before the children I was brimming with self righteous smug ideas on parenting and when I was pg with DS1 I was pretty unbearable: my child was not going to have a dummy/eat sweets/oven chips/watch TV/have plastic toys/co sleep/be given chocolate to stop it crying - yes I was one long annoying cliche. Yesterday as I ripped into a packet of brioches in the supermarket to shut the boys up while I finished the shopping I reflected that the last pre child illusion had been shattered.......

Some of the time. Sometimes I'm crappier than crap. And sometimes I do better and think "see, I'm good at this!". Then I remember that my mother was very abusive sometimes and OK others, and chose to remember only the good bits, and I panic in case I am doing the same thing. I know I haven't done anything really evil to them though.

There just doesn't seem to be the time to do all the things I feel I ought to do or would like to do with them though. So even when I'm not actively cocking it up, it's never quite good enough, IYKWIM.

What a disturbing question

i thought id be good with kids because im quite immature myself

I am better than I thought I would be. Before ds came along I felt I was too selfish and far too impatient to be a parent, It didn't feel natural at all to play with any of my friends kids or neices, so much so that I wouldn't play with them, or pick them up etc. My ds has changed all that, I now play/coo over any child I come across and it feels very natural. On the most part I am very patient with ds who is 21 mths old today, and family have commented on how laid back I am, and how naturally I have taken to motherhood, which pleases me immensley. Am now pregnant again, just hoping that I will find two as easy as one, but I somehow doubt it