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Parenting

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Original poster

15yo dd still sucks dummy!! I'm mortified

50 replies

Cloudsarebright · 05/04/2017 15:36

Have name changed for this as feel like a shit mum.

Basically she never really gave it up as when we tried to ween her off it at 6mo we were living with dm who refused to put up with dd's tantrums in the night and would sneakily give it back.

This carried on all throughout dd's childhood as we only stopped living with dm when dd was 9. I've always tried to take it but dd would just buy new ones if we took them.

When dd was around 11 I switched approach and would get really angry at her when she would suck her dummy. She actually managed to fool us she'd stopped around 12yo whilst she was would sneakily suck at night/alone.

She's a vv cool teen, goes out on the weekend, is in with the cool kids at school who all drink, some smoke etc and would never let any of her friends find out. I'm trying to convince her to stop but she says it's not worth it and isn't causing anyone any harm (she's miraculously avoided braces!) and has even got to the point where she snapped and told me to 'mind my own fucking business'!

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to explain. Looking for advice and reassurance that I'm not a shit mum (although reckon I am!). Any ideas on how I can get her to quit?

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DoItTooJulia · 05/04/2017 16:08

TooManyTrolls might have the very best username ever.

shirleycartersaidso · 05/04/2017 16:10

I know a 30 something who still sucks her thumb and in public if she's tired eg on a train.

SunnyLikeThursday · 05/04/2017 16:11

I had a lovely cup with a lid at 14 that I liked very much. It was a little bit of tlc that I allowed myself to make up for all the garbage I had to put up with at school.

Possibly if you do worry about the dummy it might be good to do a lot of listening to find out what worries she might have that the dummy is helping her to cover for. At that age there can be all sorts of stuff gathered up in early and middle childhood that the dummy might be helping her to manage.

I would think that the way to get rid of the dummy is to help her straighten out whatever emotional baggage she may have, rather than necessarily to concentrate on the dummy.

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Phalenopsisgirl · 05/04/2017 16:12

I'm surprised she still uses a dummy as it would be so tiny it wouldn't really work for a big mouth, I became a thumb sucker and still suck my thumb in my sleep. At least you can chuck dummies away. I often wake and realise I'm in full foetal pose with my thumb in my mouth, not always but it still happens !

MoiraRosesMeltdown · 05/04/2017 16:12

I sucked my thumb until I was around 17. I didn't make an effort to stop - I just realised one day that I didn't do it anymore. Your DD will grow out of it when she is ready.

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 05/04/2017 16:13

When I was 15 it was "cool" to be wandering around with a baby dummy in your mouth. I don't even fucking know why

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 05/04/2017 16:14

was it because of the spice girls?

Didn't baby spice used to do it, then it became a rave thing?

Soubriquet · 05/04/2017 16:17

Sail that was because the drug heads used the dummy to help cope with the munchies with drug using. It then got popular along teens to have a dummy in your mouth. Which was why all these bright flashing light dummy's were made

Happyhippy45 · 05/04/2017 16:27

I was a sneaky thumb sucker until I was about 18. I'd still very occasionally do it when I was in my 20s and had 2 kids. I genuinely just grew out of it. My parents would "catch" me doing it when I was 10 or so and tell me to stop. It did nothing.

Recently teens/young adults sucking dummy's openly was due to ecstasy usage.........

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/04/2017 16:32

I recall a thread a while ago where a surprising number of posters admitted to sucking their thumbs - some even positively revelled in it and a few were quite happy to admit they had comfort blankets which they rubbed on their faces as they thumb-sucked.

Basically, I'd leave her to it.

Onlyaplasticbagdear · 05/04/2017 16:35

0/10 for effort op.

Yawn.

thekingfisher · 05/04/2017 16:37

my best friend at school sucked her thumb until she was well into her 20's in fact i think she still does it now if she is really tired ( now mid 40's)

RupertsMum2 · 05/04/2017 16:49

We had a teacher (secondary school) who used to suck her thumb. She got some stick from the kids but clearly not enough to stop her. She also had terrible buck teeth. I used to feel sorry for her.

SingingSilver · 05/04/2017 16:56

No-one's going to know. And if she goes away to college I bet you £100 she won't take a dummy with her. It'll stop when she has a reason to stop.

ADisappearingDreamOfYesterday · 05/04/2017 16:56

Why do I get the feeling OP is rubbing their thighs (in the style of Vic and Bob) right about now?

I remember dummies from clubbing

TrippyMcTrapFace · 05/04/2017 16:57

1/10

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 05/04/2017 17:06

I'm 34 and still suck my thumb.

RachelRagged · 05/04/2017 17:09

Yes I was going to say I am sure a few years ago there was a phase for ravers? to suck on dummies and agree with whomever said its likely after they had taken certain drugs .

OP , if this is true that is, does your DDs friends know about her dummy?

Toobloodytired · 05/04/2017 20:38

Odd that she's so adamant about having it yet wouldn't use it in front of friends. Tell her, if she's intent on using it, she can bloody well take it to school & use in class. See how popular that makes her!

Cranb0rne · 05/04/2017 20:50

I still swaddle myself at night.

steve2582 · 18/02/2019 01:40

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NoPlaced · 19/02/2019 00:11

So, in amongst all the posters admitting they still suck their thumbs or do something similar, there are still people insisting that this must be a troll? Why? It's hardly inconceivable.

Maddy112567 · 22/03/2020 13:29

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helpyououtwithit2020 · 28/04/2020 12:15

I am 15 and I still suck a dummy if you chiald had a stress day or some one died in the family it is sothing and relaxing it is better the to suck a dummy than suck there fume

FishingPaws · 28/04/2020 14:16

She might not be the only one! There seems to be a 'thing' around the area I live of teens sucking dummies and even drinking from baby bottles - it's very odd.

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