Are Reward Charts really THAT bad?

[SleepForTheWeek]

I've read on a lot or articles/blogs/discussions that reward charts are actually not that good at promoting better behaviour. What's the thought behind this?

I was thinking of starting one for DD (2.5) to encourage specific better cooperation with a few things that we struggle with (getting changed in the morning/teeth brushing etc). So, if she does these things with no fuss she'll get a start and if she X amount of stars she'll get a small reward (new colouring book/kinder egg/magazine etc)

Would that be terrible? I wouldn't punish her by taking stars away, just acknowledge her good behaviour with stars.

What are your thoughts on this? Please be honest

All kids are different and so there is no one correct way to parent. I like to catch my kids being good and praise that behaviour, if that works for you then a sticker chart might be a good approach. As other posters have said, they are great for encouraging positive behaviours, and moving on to focus on other behaviours or moving away from the charts is a natural progression. You won't be using one when your child is 18!

sometimes I ban the iPad.
How is that not a punishment?

fatlittlewomble

It is! I was making the point that I am not perfect and occasionally I snap...

JassyRadlett

Logical consequence : child deliberately breaks toy, child no longer has toy.

Punishment: child deliberately breaks toy, child is given time out or not allowed to watch TV that day.

Logical consequence: Child scribbles on wall, child has to clean wall, possibly using up time which could be spent on other things.

Punishment: child scribbles on wall, child is sent to their room without dinner.

I think you're setting up a false dichotomy there by pretending that what you call logical consequences don't fall within most people's definition of 'punishment'.

We have a sticker chart here, it has 2 stickers up for grabs each day: sleeping in own bed and 'good list'.

On days she's home with me and baby DS she has to have more 'good'things on her list than naughty to get a sticker. We go through the list at bedtime and praise all the good things - So getting dressed / teeth (nonarguing) / being nice with her brother / good behaviour at various levels is highlighted. We also skim over the perceived naughty things and talk about why they might have occurred (tiredness or hunger based rage usually) not dwelling on them. It's rigged so she always has more goods than bads, but is working.

Sleeping in her own bed on the other hand is still fucked! Theres been no stickers in that column for a LONG time

As blacksuit said upthread, rewards are an external motivation that kids come to expect for what should be standard behaviour. As kids get more clued up they start to demand bigger rewards.

Better in the long term is for kids to be internally motivated to do these things of their own accord because they want to.

Jassy fair point, I guess there will be some overlap, and a lot of it is down to semantics anyway! But these consequences would be the same if it were something DH or I did (I recently had a rage and smashed a glass on the floor, so I had to clear it up and mop the floor!) and I wouldn't like to think of DH or I being "punished".

But yes, it is largely down to terminology :)