When did life with a baby get easier for you?

[singingpinkmonkey]

Just that really. When did it get better for you?

I have an 11 week old and have had a tough couple of days with him crying and not sleeping. I haven't been able to do anything and I feel self conscious of him screaming in public places so have pretty much been trapped at home, venturing out for walks when I can. I know things could be a lot worse and I adore him but just feeling so fed up and wondered if and when it will get easier and I can enjoy my baby a bit more.

Thanks x

Thank you all so much for your replies. They have really cheered me up and brought a smile to my face, which is a task in itself at the moment. Good to know that this hellish period will pass.

You are all so kind for responding to my cry for help!

6 months for me, my DS cried all day and night until we got cmpa milk and reflux medication, which was 4m. It gradually got easier until he was sitting unaided and interacting with textures, sounds, toys etc. It meant I could get ready on a morning and feel a bit more presentable. I also went out more as I felt I could manage his crying better at that point.

I know many people who found it got loads easier at 12-15 weeks as well. I just wished my DS's life would speed up during those weeks. He's 9m now and is so much fun to be around.

Do you have a sling? Baby fed changed into sling & you can walk maybe listen to a podcast or some music & you'll feel human & baby may sleep. Or sling & bounce on birth/gym ball for a indoor option.
My children do not sleep until about age 3 & then they still need less sleep than every book says. I found 4 months to be the turning point each time - from NB to 4 months it gets harder but then it gets easier until you hit toddler but don't think about that just now just sniff their wee head

Oh, I second the Wonder Weeks book recommendation. All the other parenting books made me feel like a failure and ruined my confidence, but this was excellent. It helped me consider the world from the baby's developmental perspective, and I found it incredibly reassuring at every stage that the horrible, difficult phases were NOT JUST ME! And that they will and do pass, producing a happier and more capable baby. It's well worth a look.

Also, yes. Don't beat yourself up at all. The best thing you can do is see this first year as the weirdest, hardest job ever and that everything else can just wait. Because believe me, that's how pretty much everyone who's ever gone through the first year sees it!

Around 12 months for Me.
Have a 13.5 month old dd and omg she's much more enjoyable now .

My second is 15 months and every day/night is a battle. Mentally and physically done in. No way am I having any more.

I found the first three months really tough. After that, my DS seemed to get a bit happier when he passed each developmental stage (rolling over, sitting up etc). I think basically he was frustrated by not being able to do things! Learning to crawl has made a big difference. He's now ten months and while he's still a rubbish sleeper, he's generally a lovely happy baby which makes it all SO much more enjoyable!

Can't really say exactly, but it does. I really didn't enjoy first baby due to a mix of things including postnatal depression. Second born I enjoyed from day 1. I think it just takes a while for your whole life to adjust to being a mum. You really can't be prepared for just how much things will change. DD1 is 3 now and OMG I wish I could go back and enjoy her as a baby because threenagers are HARD WORK!

My baby became miserable and a crier from 5 weeks. I was told at 3 months it would improve. He is on relfux meds now and is now 3 months. Im still waiting.
I dont get out much as he hates the car and the buggy and cries in public. At home I can put him in the sling with music and dance. It is relentless.

It got easier once I figured out how not to give a shit about what others thought. I to was weary of public places, scared of being judged with a crying baby, didn't venture to groups as I didn't know if I was doing it right. It's took a while, but now I've became more relaxed as a parent I'm a lot more happy. Once I realised I didn't have to be touching dd every minute or interacting every second, I started to relax. When I realised she would happily lie on her play mat while I pottered around her and felt like I was actually a person who had accomplished something, even if it was just the dishes. One day you'll blink and miss a year, fuck everyone else. Take that baby out, let people judge; you don't know them, so why should their opinion matter?

For me with both my two it got much easier around the 18 month mark when they can walk and talk and I could leave the house without packing their own foods...

At about 3 months I realised I was a good mom and was enjoying myself - colic had ended and I started going to groups and made a great group of new mom friends which helped tremendously

First baby was a breeze from dot ,although colic until 20 weeks (which grew worse over the weeks,building to a crescendo) was just so awful for my poor boy,tho has continued to be really placid(he's now 10)
Second baby ,so different!
Desperately needed to be held all the time&wouldnt be put down(had severe reflux so probably why)but was so much happier from approx 5 mths once she could be in an upright position all the time
First 6 months with the two of them was HARD work!26 months apart
So wish I'd bought one of the fabric slings as I'm sure it would have made her happier so an easier life for me
However,she's now 8 &has been my ray of sunshine for that whole time
It may seem hard now,but those pre school years were the best times ever-so wish I could do it all over again😍

It definitely depends on the baby. My eldest slept through at 6 months (after gentle sleep training), my next at 10 weeks (I wasn't going to make the same mistakes again) and my third didn't sleep though until twelve fucking months (how did that happen?).

Some kids are naturally easy going, some are highly strung. It's pot luck.

Do what you need to do to survive. Do not feel guilty about doing what you need to do to survive!

And I promise, you will look back with rose tinted glasses and long for them to be little again!

I'd like to add that I churned out DC 1 & 2 and then had a big gap before DC3.

I didn't enjoy DC 1 & 2 as much as I should have, so was determined to enjoy every single second of DC3's early babyhood.

Then DC3 arrived and fuck me, the baby stage was even more horrific than I remembered! Of course I loved my baby and it was wonderful, but it was bloody hard work, exhausting hard work and it drained me completely!

I've been assured by the time they get to 25 things start to settle down! Seriously, the first few months were rough for me. On maternity leave, missed adult conversation that didn't involve babies, everything seemed like a struggle and you are surviving on minimal sleep. I think by about 4-5 months I got into the swing of things and started to feel human again and enjoy DD

I think everyone has different stages they find difficult OP. My DS was quite slow to take to solids and so I found 6-8 months a hard slog with meals + loads of milk, felt like I was constantly feeding him! Now I'm back at work and he has just turned one, it all feels a bit easier (and he is in general a decent sleeper and eater!). Agree with everyone else, just get out of the house, walks, coffee, take the baby in a sling to do stuff you want to do...the summer is coming so great for this. Saved my sanity when I was on mat leave.

Thank you so much for all your replies. It's really helped knowing that others have found it hard and that it's normal to feel like I feel.
I will definitely try and get out more and try not to care about being in public with a crying baby. Thank you all so so much xxx

I'm still waiting for it to get better. ....... he's 23!

With Ds when he started to crawl and explore, he got too frustrated with not being able to get about. Didn't last long though he's now 4 and it's gotten harder.
Dd is just about to turn 8 months and I can't say the same. She learnt to crawl a couple of weeks ago, the same day she also learnt to stand and climb while holding on. We have to sit behind her ready for the inevitable fall backwards, she doesn't land on her bum yet just goes straight back so it's constant watching and waiting.

When they l ft home!

At four months when I went back to work pt. Felt so much better for handing over responsibility and 'having a break' from childcare for a few hours. Worth every penny.

6 months - when I went back to work. I could enjoy time with him because I had time off. Sleepless nights were shared. We had our evenings back and he was a happy thing who had a personality.

I don't know how anyone enjoys the new baby stage unless they have a lot of support - both practical and company. I had none and it was so isolating.

Over about 3 1/2!

Oh the 8-12 week period was absolute hell

It seemed to go on forever too, I can't quite believe it was really just a few weeks, it felt like I was stuck in a time warp

There was a big improvement from 6 months when DD got mobile. Then 18 months when she started to be able to communicate why she was crying. Now she is 5 it is a doddle by comparison