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Original poster

is anybody out there???

38 replies

ticklemepink · 08/03/2007 10:44

i know i probably sound ungrateful and pathetic...but i have posted a number of things on mn...but get little reply...i must be doing something different to others...but i feel so alone...apart frm dh i dont feel i can tlk to anyone about issue we are having ...i could really use some support...have recently posted about my 7 yr old ds beating me up...please...is anyone able to help?

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fireflyfairy2 · 08/03/2007 10:45

What do you mean when you say your 7yr old is beating you up?? You are the adult, he the child.

MerlinsBeard · 08/03/2007 10:46

it could be that no one saw/no one has any advice.

Tortington · 08/03/2007 10:47

i would thrown a glass of ice cold water on him - grab him by the arm chuck him (literally in his room) tell him firmly to "STAY ON YOUR BED" and proceed to remove anything of play worthy value in the room and put it in my room.

i would tell him that he stays there all evening.

each evening he is good he choses to return something to his room

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Original poster
ticklemepink · 08/03/2007 11:01

ff2- yes i know that i am the adult...but getting slapped, punched, kicked , spat at, bitten whilst in the process of trying to get him off the top of my car (ran off after dropping dd to brownies, went home and climbed on car)up the stairs and into his room..then trying to lock the window so he doesnt jump out...still attacking me ...verbal too...thentrying to remove ALL the contents of his room as he was violently throwing them around...i had to hold the door shut as he kept trying to get out to hit me and thow things at me...what would you do?

mumofmonsters-yer i apreciate that one

custardo...like thie ice idea...might try that one if it happens a 3rd time...but grab him by the arm...not a chance...hes a tall lad...and very strong...i had to carry him bodily up the stairs twice...did my back no good...am now crying and shaking at revisiting this...oh dear

OP posts:
Tortington · 08/03/2007 11:03

if i were you i would call social servicesand ask for help

Original poster
ticklemepink · 08/03/2007 11:04

how do you think they might help?

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 08/03/2007 11:04

Look, I don't know what I would do. TBH with you, I can't see me having let it go this far in the first place. Have you any control over him?

Do you discipline him?

I would never ever have raised a hand to my mother, & expect my children to respect me. I have 2 children myself, & 16 nieces & nephews who I have been very involved with their upbringing, none of those have ever raised a hand to their mother.

I guess I was just saying, teach him to respect you, teach him he is not allowed to slap you & verbally abuse you....

MerlinsBeard · 08/03/2007 11:06

i answered your question....???

you had help on your 7 yo thread which seemed to cover everything, you have also started threads asking for help with your other children which got lots of replies.

If you feel things are so out of control then i agree with custardo and would ring social services for some help

Tortington · 08/03/2007 11:07

give them a ring and askt hem

fireflyfairy2 · 08/03/2007 11:15

Have you spoken to anyone about your sons behaviour?

When my dd was 3 we had awful tantrums, etc... I had the HV out here with me for a week. I changed the way I did things, & dd is 5 now & never looked back

Sometimes you just need to ask for help in order to receive it

Original poster
ticklemepink · 08/03/2007 11:18

ff2 , yes we do disapline our children, normally ds2 is very gentle and loving...probably the most gentle of all our children...they have been brought up to respect us and as this is the 2nd time he has done this i have been distrought about it...it was a response that came out of nowwhere and was over something so trivial...i think it was saying that he couldnt go on the pc till after dinner as it was going to be ready in 5 mins...

mumofmonsters...sorry did i sound like i didn't think you answered my question? oops..sorry...yes i have had replies on other threadds but still feel out there on my own i guess...sorry pathetic...think i need an internet hug

not sure about ss???

OP posts:
malaleche · 08/03/2007 11:24

Why is your son so angry? If this is out of character for him maybe you need to find the answer to that question.
Tho my first response would be similar to custardos advice i find that if you punish a child for being violent with more violence you're not teaching them anything...just making it worse

Original poster
ticklemepink · 08/03/2007 11:29

i have and am tryin to get to the bottom of this...spoke to his teacher today about it and she said she would look into things at playtimes etc, but that he was fime in class...aprt from trying to manouver him into his room by having to lift him bodily..we dont smack ...so where the violence has come from is bemusing...

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Original poster
ticklemepink · 08/03/2007 11:34

i guess the idea of iced water would be like a shock to the system for him...just been making up a reward chart with rules to alow him to earn the right to get the stuff back in his room if he is 'nice' as in no violence or verbal abuse ...if he earns enough 'happy faces' then he can be rewarded with a voucher such as half hr on pc choosing a game to play..choosing an activity...within reason(!) ...hopefully this will help...is just preventing it from happening in the first place...providing i can see it coming...which so far i haven't ben able to

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hotandbothered · 08/03/2007 11:39

If it continues, you need help before it gets further out of hand and becomes embedded, if that makes sense?
I think you are very brave to be asking for help. I can't imagine how I would feel if dd started to behave like this...
I wonder what could have triggered something like this? You say you haven't had problems in the past?
I think there is a service called Parentline which can offer support?
HTH

Original poster
ticklemepink · 08/03/2007 11:43

yes it does...feeling that hug coming through now...will look into parentline...

OP posts:
nathaliea · 08/03/2007 12:05

i wouldn't try any counter-violent means of calming your child or getting him to change his behaviour. most likely that would just cause more reaction from him.

has this been happening for a long time? is there something at school, home or elsewhere that could be influencing his behaviour?

he might be trying to 'say' something but is not using words?

You should consider taking him to a doctor - i dont know which kind of doctor - but, and dont take this in the wrong way - some children are more hyper or more agressive than others, just naturally, and there are simple ways to treat that.

Original poster
ticklemepink · 08/03/2007 12:22

yes on reflection, the ice waer thing sounds great but not really the kind of shock thing i want to do...no offence custardo but doesnt sit right with me...have called parentine but the lady just kept talking about talking to him...which i am going to set aside some time to do that tonight...he seemed to be really angry and wanting a response but is otherwise a happy kid...was his usual self this morning...no obvious issues anywhere...the behaviour is completely new to our household and is a big shock to us...my ds1 used to suffer from hyperactivity cause of e numbers and so dont have those kind of foods in our house as a rule...we dont have fizzy drinks and he has a nut allergy so are careful about sweets etc...their childminder is a whizz and cooks everything from scratch (WOW) so no obvious issues there either...am grateful for getting me to look in different areas of our life to find the answer though..keep the thoughts coming..

OP posts:
Tortington · 08/03/2007 13:12

"but getting slapped, punched, kicked , spat at, bitten whilst in the process of trying to get him off the top of my car (ran off after dropping dd to brownies, went home and climbed on car)up the stairs and into his room..then trying to lock the window so he doesnt jump out...still attacking me ...verbal too...thentrying to remove ALL the contents of his room as he was violently throwing them around...i had to hold the door shut as he kept trying to get out to hit me and thow things at me...what would you do? "

call social services.

Original poster
ticklemepink · 08/03/2007 13:39

ok...[anxious but willing to try] thanks

OP posts:
nathaliea · 08/03/2007 13:48

there are plenty of things to do before social services. that would be a last resort for me.

Original poster
ticklemepink · 08/03/2007 13:52

ok...was building up courage to call...now decided to phone a friend whos kinda in the business...feels a bit drastic at this early stage to involve ss...but will definatley keep it in mind...and will ask said friend her opinion on the matter...

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Original poster
ticklemepink · 08/03/2007 14:23

would love to hear other suggestions of help on this...

OP posts:
sandydut · 08/03/2007 15:23

Custardo

I'm pretty sure you were one of the 'ladies' who criticised me for the unusual circumstances in which I had my family.....

Your advice 'i would thrown a glass of ice cold water on him - grab him by the arm chuck him (literally in his room)' is so hideously awful I don't think you should be allowed to have children at all.

Shocking!

Sandy

Tortington · 08/03/2007 15:53

really? please prove it to me - or let me recall your circumstances? what kind of unfair post is that? ffs

i could post any old shit about you - what the fuck are you on about?

stop licking my heels you'll look like a dog.

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