Vomiting at bedtime... WHAT DO I DO????

[Lilypie]

DD is 21 months and in the midst of major separation anxiety. She has been difficult about going to bed for a while, asking to sleep in my bed, not wanting me to leave her etc and cries so hard she vomits, but the last 2 nights she's gone from bad to worse.
Tonight I was about to brush her teeth when she vomited, she wasnt even crying, she just retched a few times and threw up, it seemed like she wanted to be sick to prolong bedtime. She's not ill btw, I'm sure about that, it seems to be a tactic she knows is a sure thing to put off going to bed because I have to change her and clean her up etc.
What do I do? I know I should play it down and put her to bed as normal but I can't do that without cleaning up, how can I prevent this from becoming a daily thing?

Bump

No-one? I'm off to bed then.

Hope she sleeps okay tonight, Lilypie .

gawd that's a pain

mine went through a phase of vomiting on demand (v impressive it has to be said but also enormously inconvenient)

you have to clean up with MINIMAL fuss and then proceed EXACTLY as you would have done had she not thrown up

but maybe give it another night to check it isn't a bug

also, if she's not a normal vomiter (so for mine, it was no great effort!), then you might have to reconsider her going to bed routine. Have no idea how to do that though but if she's that frightened, that she's throwing up, a different tactic might be needed.

Hi lilypie,
Sorry you're having such a hard time with bedtime. My daughter has always been a terrible sleeper and I've read loads to try and help deal with it. She's never actually vomited like this, but I do remember reading about it.

It's quite common for children to vomit as a way of seeking attention. As you can say, you can see she's not ill. Just pay as little attention as you possibly can - clear up with the minimum of fuss so that she realises that the vomiting will NOT get your attention, or what it is she's after.

I've just moved house and all books are still packed up, but will try and get them out tomorrow and have a look, see if there is anything else in there.

Have you tried looking through the conversations on here? I'm sure there must be something of help?

Good luck, hope things improve for you, I know it must be very stressful.

Hi Lilypie,
ds also went through a major sep.anxiety phase at about 21/22 mths, thankfully no vomiting but he would ge very upset at bedtime and not want to be left. We worked on the premise of "this too shall pass" and helped him through it by staying with him until he was asleep, and then gradually reducing it a la Elizabeth Pantley, ie "back in 1 min" then "back in 2" then "back in 5" etc leaving it longer each time. Started off sitting next to his bed, then moving the chair to the door, then just outside. Took a couple of weeks but no tears and it did pass.
Does she have sep anxiety in other places and at other times? Can you use avoidance to address those eg not leaving her with your mum for half an hour as you usually would while you go to the shops but take her with you instead for the time being? When ds realised we were "on his side" it helped a lot.
Hope it gets easier soon x

My ds has just gone through something similar. In the end, I had to accept that he was hyper-anxious about bedtime so I agreed to hold his hand while he went to sleep. He went along with this, and after a few days I didn't hold his hand, just sat beside the cot. Then i moved the chair a fraction further away, then further away etc etc. Then I'd put him to bed, say I was going for a wee and would come straight back (which i did)and gradually my 'wees' would take longer and longer. Anyway, it took about three weeks of this gradual retreating, but it worked with no tears involved. He now seems more confident during the day too, if I need to be away from him for a while. HTH.