HELP!have just got uni acceptance letter and dh has got transferred overseas!

[snowfallinthesahara]

hi,i really need some advice.
after a lot of hard work and many hours of voluntary work to get experience,i finally got my acceptance ltr for msc public health nutrition!
but dh has now been transferred overseas!
to say this throws a spanner the works,is a major understatement.my brain tells me to go ahead with uni as i cant imagine the horror of applying Again and this will open doors(im hoping!),other than the peanuts im offered on my mind-numbing current job..
dh is trying hard not to show his disappointment,but he has been in and out of town quite a bit in the last few months anyway.
i am worried if staying on in the uk for 1-2 yrs with 2 yrs old ds(who will be 3 in sep) is the best thing for ds?

and now i'll have to move towns as it will not be financially and with childcare,commuting feels impossible.the uni has a nursery on campus..

am i doing the right thing?
any lone mums at uni part-time with young ones?

sorry,i meant financially viable

I haven't been in your situation, but my instinct, without knowing anything about you, is that you are going the right thing. Where is your DH being transfered?

There are lots of student mums on MN - I'm sure someone will come along soon to help...

thanks mamama..dh has been transferred to turkey,i wouldnt mind living there at ALL,but id like to finish my degree more!
ive been losing a lot of sleep over this,as altho ive never wanted anything more-i combined a full time job last year with voluntary work and 1 yr old ds-suddenly there seem to be other feelings to take into consideration.
uni had said they dnt hv family halls of residence,i would hv to rent in the private sector..which i take,means a studio flat or sthing nearby.so it will just be me and ds on our own for 2yrs.

Well, I don't think it'll be easy for you but if you've managed a baby, volunteer work and a full-time job, I am sure you can do it.

Turkey isn't too far away so hopefully you can see each other fairly frequently. Do you have any support though? Someone to help out with DS?

I'm sure nappyaddict will be around soon. Her situation is slightly different but I'm sure she'll tell you a bit about her experience...

I'm slightly biased btw and, after a bad experience, strongly feel that it is important to put DS & myself above anyone else. As I said, that's from bitter experience though and may not be the right thing for your family.

Oh, really should have said CONGRATULATIONS, shouldn't I?

Well done!

i'm at uni full time and my ds is 8 months old. what uni is it? our uni has a nursery on campus but i have heard it is not that great. i am at cardiff. also a cm would probably work out cheaper for you. 2 out of 3 days i am at uni i don't start until 12. however this is still part of the morning session at the nursery so if he went there i would have to pay for a full day despite him only being there 4 hours maximum.

at the moment due to my not being able to find a flat suitable for me and a baby last year as i left it too late thinking i would be able to get into family halls and then finding out they only really go to international students, ds doesn't live with me full time but as of september he will be. he will be 15 months then.

how old are you if you don't mind me asking?

thanks mamama,ure right,its not too far away,so we cd technically see each other atleast a few times/yr-and hes scared ill blame him forever if i dont go for it.
but tbh,ive been on my own for pretty much the past yr anyway..as dh has been going there on and off..so we've already have had a good taste of going it alone.ive no family living in the country..mother-in-law in bham yes,but shes nearly 70 and doesnt put herself out much,shall we say!so no support whatsoever.

nappyaddict,ive got a place at chester-and currently live in bham!but..its the place closest to bham offering the program(also,the cheapest!)

im 26 and no,i dont mind u asking

have they already given u ure schedule?coz i was told id only find out in the summer-which really sounds like a bit of a pain coz otherwise,i could try figuring out my schedule.im sposed to be part time,but am thinking i shd pbably do a 3 day week(semi-full time) after ds gets settled..

im really nervous.hvnt a clue about how to start looking for accomodation..shd i start snooping around now.uni has just told me to look out myself!!

look out myself,from the list that they provide,rather.

i'm near birmingham so would be happy to meet up with you some time. is it actual birmingham university, or one of the others (college of food and science or UCE)

the problem you are going to have with birmingham is the nice areas are very expensive and the cheap areas, are well not very nice!! i guess it depends on how much you have to spend?

i'm not sure as you are a mature student if you qualify for parents learning allowance or the childcare grant from the LEA? i am able to claim both of these, plus housing benefit, a maintenance grant and a tuition fee loan along with my student loan.

well i'm in year 2 and yes my course have told us already our timetable for next year. its been the main deciding factor of what modules to do lol. i'm not sure if every uni/course does this, but if you email them and explain the situation they might be able to help? with seminars when you have to go and sign up for them in your first week get there very early so you can pick times that suit you best. thats what i did and it means i get monday and friday off and don't have to be til 11 on any day.

sorry i will be in year 2.

Oh, Chester is nice. I used to live in Liverpool & we'd got to Chester for a nice day out. I'd suggest looking for accomodation as soon as you can - you need to get something nice (& affordable) for you & DS. It's a shame the Uni hasn't been more helpful. Is there any support for families?

thats so helpful,mine just said she could book me for a meeting with the program leader to discuss the program,but schedule's only out in the summer.

actually,i live in birmingham-but ive got a postgraduate masters place at uni of chester.and so my dilemma is i will have to move to chester.
how do i go about finding out info for a postgraduate student loan?

i'd love to meet more mner mums in the area,where are u at?i was sitting here thinking it will be impossible to cope alone..but its so nice to know there are others who are so positive about it!

DS was born when I was doing my second master. I'm not going to say it was easy because it wasn't. I had to be very organised, plan times perfecty and getting DS to go to bed on time was of paramount importance, otherwise I was too tired to feel receptive and I didn't had any extra time than a few sessions in nursery (it took us a year to get a full time place, and campus nursery had a loooooong waiting list even when is the most vile nursery in town).

But it is doable, and if you looooove the subject even better. But there may be an option to consider:

I don't know how long your DH may be working in Turkey but, you may ask for your entrance to uni to be deferred until next year. At 3.5 your child would get some free sessions at a nursery/child minder, which will remove some of the financial burden. At 4.5-5 with the child going to school full time you may not even worry about childcare expenses. The huge down side to it, is that you may get sidetracked and never come back to it.

Have you considered distance learning? I wouldn't be surprised if such degree was ofered as a distance learning course.

you need to contact the lea of where you live. (sorry i am confused i thought you lived in chester and were going to birmingham uni!)when you ring them explain you are a mature student and ask if you still qualify for grants etc.

ah right now i understand i misread!! what is the course you are doing?

sorry read the op and now know the answer to my last question!

i think i will contact the student support and guidance and ask for student families..hope for some joy there.
mamama,any idea how affordable and safe is chester for a mum on her own?from what i saw of my one visit there,it seemed like a very pretty town,but im not going to be spoilt for choice when it comes to acco..i'll hv to get something as reasonable as possible!
this must sound silly,but im worried about asking them too many q about support,lest they get a negative impression about me!

Oh no, definitely ask for advice - that is what they are there for.

I don't know Chester well enough to say much about housing but I do think it should be ok for you as a single mum. FWIW, I would happily live there with my DS (& I am a single mum too). I'm sure there are some areas that are nicer than others, but the housing/ support people should be able to tell you more about that. Or you could start a thread in meet-ups/ Other Subjects to see if there are any MNers familiar with the Chester Area. They will be more help.

no problem nappyaddict
thanks chandra..2nd masters,wow.
thing is,this transfer will be permanent.i thought of the deferring option,but apart from the free childcare places,which will start in january(hes 3 in oct),i dont know how much easier it will be to get back to it?and then,i thought,it will be hard again to wrench ds from his dad again...whereas now,he's used to living without him.

oh i absoluttttely love the subject!but goodness knows why public health nutrition isnt offered distance,how i wish it was...esp as we hvnt any lab work.i dont expect ill be able to continue working a few hours in the week,if i do 3 days/week.unless i want to drop dead.or worse,fail.

i currently work 2 night shifts a week but thats only possible because i have friends who can babysit. ds is asleep for all but an hour of it anyway.

i would worry about chester being very expensive to rent as it is a lovely, and very touristy town, but i could be wrong?

i wouldn't defer personally because i wouldn't want to uproot ds and move to turkey for one year and then have to come back again.

wow,nappyaddict.that sounds amazing..u study full-time,work and a young baby.
maybe this is do-able after all.
its just that i've come across so few ppl who are this devoted to studying and are actually piling on a huge guilt trip on me about being selfish,etc!!im ultimately doing it for the family,to get a better job!
what do u study nappyaddict?

i jst wish to the heavens i had SomeOne i could rely on for some help,the fact of being totally and utterly alone is what scares me.

help with ds,i mean

you will make friends at uni. i thought the same and i can't breathe for offers of help from my uni friends! home friends ... well that's a different matter! i know what you mean. i got talking to a few people from netmums and then some of them went a bit funny on me when they new i worked or was a student. some of them were really quite cruel to me just because they thought once you became a mum you should stay at home for 3 years.