3yr old hatea hair brushed / touched / cut etc.....lice at nursery

[xxxbingbunnyxxx]

Please help, any advice greatly appreciated. Ds is 3.5 and has always hated having his hair touched, washed, cut or brushed. I'm mean really cries, not like having a tantrum crying, but as if it's torture. So I have left it, picking my battles as such, good sleeper, brushes teeth, good eater, polite etc and I actually like his hair longer anyway. We have managed to wash his hair about 3 times a week but its a quick wash not a good scalp clean, if you know what I mean. Now, nursery have sent a warning email around saying there maybe lice as a local school has had an outbreak. Now I'm paranoid that he already has the eggs, but to be honest I think its dandruff, but going to be responsible and get the shampoo incase. But how the hell do I use the nit comb! And doing it while asleep is not an option, maybe bribes, but thinking long term help. Any advice for nit treatment and to help the hair phobia would be great, thanks x

Nitty gritty preventer spray every day. It's brilliant.

I think you need to cut his hair short enough so brushing it isn't an issue, although you will need to sort his hair prior to a hairdresser touching it.

We have been trying taking him to barbers and hairdressers for the last 2 years, the last cut he had I have to physically hold him down and he was sobbing, and each time after we have tried. He is good waiting but as soon as he sits in the chair and they brush his hair he cries, and it's not safe to hold him down with how strong he is getting

What about a hairdresser at home? Minr were awkward at the barbers, but at home, watching a programme of ypur choice on the iPad really helped.

I set up an ipad and gently bit by bit combed through the hair. He fell asleep so that was a bonus and I got to do a thorough job.

After I was sure he was nit-free, I started to use the nitty-gritty spray.

Oh and telling him he's got critters in his hair might help. DS was very interested and we had to get the magnifying glass out to have a proper look at a few that I put on the toilet paper.

I'm afraid you're going to have to be strong, you're the adult here.
You know logically that it's not really hurting him. He dislikes it, well I'm sure you and he will dislike being the child/parent everyone tslks sbout/ doesn't get play dates etc because he's infested with lice and you're too soft to deal with it properly.
Get a grip

Will he let you touch his head with more pressure? Sometimes light tickley touch can be felt as pain to children with sensitivity. If he can tolerate the deep pressure, try a head massage before and during washing his hair.

It doesn't sound like he has wider touch sensitivities or other sensor issues (you'd see issues with teeth brushing and light touch on skin from others or fussy with clothing choices). Despite this following advice along a sensory difficulty way of thinking may help (it certainly won't make it worse). There's plenty online if you google, I just did quick search and this seemed really useful... www.wales.nhs.uk/sitesplus/documents/861/Sensory%20strategies%20for%20hair%20washing.doc

Thanks berthatydfil, asking other mums for advice and being told to get a grip is pointless advice really, why the hating?! And I'm not going to be the one with a lice infested child as even though i cannot see any lice I am treating him anyway to be responsible and not potentially pass on.
I have managed to have a good look and he is lice free, but I have treated to be on the safe side. Nursery are working with us on brushing his hair and it is slowly working, still some tears but were getting there, i recently found out that he likes me towel drying hair as he thinks it tickles!! Thanks to everyone else for the helpful advice

Really - assuming he's nt with no sensory problems letting him make such a fuss at 3 is not doing you or him any favours.
But hey your rod and your back.