A little back story.. I have always tried to involve my husbands family in as much as possible.. ex: invite them over, out to parks beaches, sent pictures, spend holidays with them, buy them 'just because' gifts randomly, etc. They have always been extremely demanding of us despite us never trying to exclude them, until now that is.
They have demanded more visits, claimed it was their right as grand parents. On top of all of this MIL AND FIL make so many passive aggressive comments directed at me. This includes sideways comments about me breastfeeding, how DD only loves me because I feed her??, that my husband does all the cleaning/cooking (not true at all as I do 90% of it), guilting us relentlessly about not seeing them more (we see them every week), comments about my weight and appearance to the point it has had me in tears on many occasions. I have never wanted to break apart the family, but DH has never been able to stand up for me to them. It is infuriating. I don't want him to cut them out of our life, but to defend me as his wife. :( It has caused a major rift and I no longer even look at him the same as he's pretty much just over and over again watched his family bully me. It has made me question ever having children with him :( .. I love my babies more than anything but these people have practically ruined the first few years I had with them because of the weight of stress they have put on me.
It is sad because of this I no longer go to them for their help. They used to almost force me to allow them to babysit when my DD was only a couple of weeks and on when I was not comfortable being away from my new baby yet. I used to have them occasionally watch them, but now I get help elsewhere as I cannot deal with the stress of seeing them or hearing from them any more than we already do. I have also slowly began to distance myself from them more and more.. for years I felt I was under their control. How do moms cope with this when dealing with people who have no concept of boundaries?? I have tried many times having conversations with them to try and improve our relationship, but they basically tell me I am too sensitive and to do whatever DH says. 