ds (3yrs) has just started pooing in his pants and not telling anyone!

[Toothache]

Ds (3 yesterday) has been doing really well with his potty training. He still has a nappy on a night, but has been dry during the day for a couple of months now. If he ever had an accident he would tell us immediately.

However, for the last week he has pooed in his pants every day at least once. This is strange, but what is also strange is he hasn't told DH or I, or the girls at nursery. He's just waited until we've smelled something!

When I ask him why he didn't tell us he just looks away or makes a funny face to try to make me laugh (bless). Neither DH nor I have shouted at him for it, althought we've wanted to! So he can't be scared to tell us.

Whats happening?? Also we've starting asking him every hour or so if he needs to poo. A few times he has said quite adamently "no!", then pooed in his pants 10mintues later.

Help! I'm 8 mths pregnant and am demented cleaning him up!!!

Do you think he could be anxious about the new baby, and reverting to baby-like behaviour himself, in order to impress on you that he's still your baby (IYKWIM)?

Not sure what to do about it, though, but I'm sure someone else will have answers!

Maybe Tissy - But I still don't thik he really knows that the baby will come out of my tummy. It's just so much hardwork and bending down to clean him up is killing me.

Could you go back to star charts/ rewards for clean pants?

I haven't used them before, but maybe I should start. He used to be so paranoid about having poo near his bum, now it doesn't seem to bother him. 4 times he did it yesterday at his birthday party!! Now he has a really sore bottom.

Toothache, you really have my sympathy! Ds (just 3) is driving me mad with pooing in his pants - he is adamant that he doesn't need to, then 5 minutes later he says 'poo', and there it is in his pants. He does the looking away when I talk to him about it afterwards too. I guess he's embarrassed. Must be tough when you're pregnant though! Haven't got any advice at all - we're struggling too! But would be interested to read what other people have done.

Musica - I think he is embarassed, but it's hard to get into the mind of a toddler. I think that if he gets so embarassed why doesn't he just do what he used to do.... go in the potty, or the big toilet!! Grrrrr.

ds went through a phase of this which started at just over 3 when we moved and got worse when dd was born and he started a new preschool. He really didn't seem that bothered either and once or twice came out of preschool having pooed himself and not said.

Things came to a head when he did it at McD's in the ball pit even though we just asked him if he needed it. He still denied it so play was curtailed and he travelled home (not that far fortunately) dirty, was sore (bad mummy) and finally realised that it was not such a good idea.

tbh toothache I suspect your ds is unsettled in some way by the imminent arrival, perhaps having seen preparations or overheard something which he has not fully understood, but cannot articulate it. Not to say it is your fault at all but it may mean that only reassurance and time will help. It may suddenly resolve itself especially when he becomes the big brother. However I really sympathise in the meantime.

A friend's sister had this when her baby2 was very little and her ds was about 3. She took him to the chemist and bought him a new feeding bottle and some dummies and a bag of his own nappies because he obviously wanted to be like a baby - he declined to use them all and was okay afterwards