MamaG's DS is 3 tomorrow and STILL IN NAPPIES

[MamaG]

gah
don't know how I've managed this

He doesn't seem ready at ALL!

DD was trained by 2nd birthday

But just how do you get a child who screams uncontrollably when you produce a potty to do it. Instead of telling me to get on and do it, can you not give some practical advice please..........

yeah defo DG.

As i say, Dd was done before age 2, all dry day and night in a week, bliss

DS is a different story, but i will go for it...next week...

You bribe them to sit on the potty in the first place, sit with them and read stories ad infinitum(the edge of our bath is really uncomfortable, it turns out).

With DD I didn't really use the downstairs toilet unless she did a poo. I just kept her and the potty outside and emptied down the drain/rinsed it under the outside tap when she actually managed it, or swilled with a watering can when she missed. Seems like eons ago but was last Spring Bank when she had just turned 2 (May birthday). Now she can go to the toilet at home with seat/step etc independently. Just needs me to wipe her bottom.

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The fact that he is screaming is not good I must admit.

The way I did it was to take their nappy off and deal with whatever came into their pants as and when. You give rewards for using the potty - maybe you could give a reward to your son just for sitting on the potty without screaming and then gradually build up to rewards for doing a wee, etc. Also, it is usual to get the child on the potty as often as possible in the early days - don't wait for them to say they want to go. Put them on, get them to sit for 5 minutes and hope something comes out. Then you can give the reward and each reward builds up the positive experiences.

Have you tried getting him books about using the potty? libraries usually have a few in the children's section.

If he won't use the potty at all, how about starting by rewarding him with a sticker/sweet just for sitting on it fully clothed? Then progress to sitting with trousers down, before actually using it?

Stickers worked a treat with my dd1.

My ds1 was well over 3 before he was potty/toilet trained. I did start with him at approx. 2.9 but the battles raged on until well after he was 3.

Ds2 was much quicker as he had ds2 to copy. Sometimes they're just NOT ready, but you do have to try to find out.

Get his nappy off in the evenings, and keep it off as long as poss over the weekend. Keep a potty nearby and give him a treat when he produces something in it. I eventually resorted to removing all ds1's toy cars and I gave them back at the rate of 1 for a wee and 2 (or a lorry) for a poo. If his muscles are ready, which they will be by 3, he should get the hint in no time.

Go on, you can do it - good luck!

Thanks DG will try again. I even took him to Mothercare and let him choose a potty and pants and yet he still screams and refuses to sit on it.

Poor thing. It sounds like something to do with the potty has really upset him. Do you have to start with the potty? How about buying a child seat and going straight to using the toilet? He might not have the same associations with the toilet.

Oh no, sorry, I see you said earlier that he is the same about the toilet.

Another tip I've heard is role playing with toys - get him to help you pretend that his teddy/action man is using the potty.

DS1 is three in a month and still in nappies.

I have enough on my plate without wee and poo everywhere.

I'll do him once we've moved house. Too much upheaval for one little bladder/bowel combo otherwise, IMO.

My ds2 was 2.11 when we started (last January), he too hated the potty and refused to sit on the toilet. We talked about it for ages before we started, then first day it took me two hours in the bathroom with bribery and corruption to get him on to the toilet, just to sit there. (I came here and shared my pain at regular intervals .) It was slow, but after a couple of weeks he did make definite progress.

(You probably don't want to know that after that he two bad bouts of hideous d&v which triggered a nightshade allergy which we didn't manage to identify until this Christmas, and he's only just now getting to grips with it all. But that's just our bad luck!)

(And yes, I am a gibbering wreck.)

happy bday to mamag's ds

I wonder if I should buy a potty [muses]

i just stuck DD on the loo, bypassing potty stage completely, with a child loo seat.

Maybe a potty would be better for ds

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did you use them though with the dses?

My DS was 3 and a quarter before he was trained. Showed no interest before then. Don't sweat it!

I used potties with both mine but they were much younger and smaller. Had a real issue with getting DS to use a toilet without a trainer seat, but leaving my fold-up one on the plane en-route for Tenerife soon sorted that issue.

still not started...

Don't blame you.
It is very hard work. You never see grown ups walking round in nappies.

He will do it when he is ready.

Yes, did you use a potty for the dses Cod? I'm just starting ds off and did buy a potty just to give him the general idea but I hate hate hate them. They are vile things! WIth DD I waited until she was ready and she went straight from nappies/pull ups to toilet and dry at night well before 3. I'm getting the feeling it's not going to be as simple with ds....

MamaG - could you take him shopping for pants? Make it a really fun outing with another treat thrown in? Get him to associate big boy pants with good times, toilet training as something of an adventure? God knows you probably feel you shouldn't need to jump through hoops to get the ball rolling especially as your older child was a breeze to train, but I think it sounds like you feel it would be a good idea for him to be out of nappies and, at 3, I think he probably is.

My DS showed absolutely no interest at all but I decided I wanted it done last summer when he was 2 years 10 months. First day of the school summer holiday we started. He was naked from the waist down for a day or two (until I got cabin fever and decided we really had to go out) and got the hang of it immediately and random accidents aside we haven't looked back. Washing a few extra pairs of pants and socks isn't as much bother as constantly changing nappies imho.

Good luck with it.

They all do it in the end! Save yourself a lot of trouble by not worrying about it, I'd say...