What will the first few weeks/months be like?

[justanotheryoungmother]

Hi

I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant with my first and I'm wondering what the first few weeks/months of parenting are going to be like? I know it's different for everyone, but realistically how much sleep do you get in those first weeks? I'm planning to breastfeed so any insight into what that'll be like will be appreciated as well

Ah tried to post a pic there - doesn't seem to have worked!

Pic attached???

Loved this that I saw on FB - saw it at the right time for me as baby had colic and we'd just given her a dummy which made me cry! As it happens she didn't like it and doesn't have it anymore but this pic was just what I needed to put things in perspective.

I have a 4 week old baby boy and he's my first and I honestly wasn't prepared for the first few weeks. I spoke to plenty of people and read up on caring for a newborn but I don't think anything can really prepare you for the reality. I love being a mum, it's hard work but totally worth it. Your life will change and the best thing is just to roll with it.

I have a 4 week old baby boy and he's my first and I honestly wasn't prepared for the first few weeks. I spoke to plenty of people and read up on caring for a newborn but I don't think anything can really prepare you for the reality. I love being a mum, it's hard work but totally worth it. Your life will change and the best thing is just to roll with it.

Try not to worry about the sleep thing. Everyone says stupid stuff like 'enjoy your sleep now' when you're pregnant but it's just a cliche really. It's amazing how well you can function on little sleep anyway. And when you are woken in the night it's only to do a simple task of feeding or changing a baby, it's not a stress. And you can always go to bed earlier, get up later, get rest while your partner looks after baby if you do begin to feel sleep deprived.

I hallucinated from sleep deprivation in the early weeks! Also cried a lot in first couple of weeks but I wasn't sad, it just felt like my hormones had to leak out of me iyswim. Nothing prepares you for that first week or two, totally overwhelming but amazing. First 12 weeks can be tough sleep-wise, I'd recommend reading up on the fourth trimester.

MargaretCabbage used the word that immediately comes to mind for me, it's brutal. Honestly, whatever you need to do to survive, do it. I found this got much easier after 12/13 weeks but I felt very nostalgic for my pre-baby life. There are times when your baby will cry for no reason that you can fathom. They have a clean nappy, are not too hot or cold and you have tried to feed them and they just don't want it... I ended up sobbing too. You are not a bad person if you put that baby down in it's cot / basket, shut the door and have a cry on the stairs too for a few minutes. It will get better an easier.

You might look at this comment in a few months time and wonder what I'm talking about because you truly love every moment, if so then that's wonderful. But if not, don't worry

Congratulations! I'm sure your experience will be unlike anyone else's here. It will be wonderful and full of love. But whatever you do, don't expect it to be a breeze and then you can't be disappointed. I was genuinely shocked by many things the first time - and whilst I was bursting with love for my little baby, I pined for my previous life. But that's ok too. So don't give yourself a hard time. I was shocked by the literally constant breastfeeding, by how hard bf was at first, the pain in my milk filled boobs, how much they leaked, the amount of bleeding (get industrial sized maternity pads and lots of them!), how much washing i had to do, how short the periods of sleep I got were, how badly I ate, how much I needed to drink, and how much I cried. Also how scared I was to be left alone with my baby. But also how wonderful and extraordinary my own child is. It was the weirdest and most contradictory experience in my life ever. With child one it all straightened out at 3.5 months. With child 2 it did at 5 weeks. Good luck!

Oh and in answer to your question. With my first child I got about 4-5 hours of sleep a day in the early weeks. But it wasn't in a block. It was broken up into little bits through the day. Max length about 2 hours. With my second child I got 6-7 hours per day in early weeks, in much bigger chunks.

In the first few weeks my lad slept for up to an hour or so at a time before wanting more food. When he progressed to 4 hour blocks I cried with relief. To be fair though, hormones made me cry at every tiny little thing so that's not that significant.

If no one has warned you before now, I just want you to know about Day 3. After giving birth, the third day is usually when everything sort of hits the new mum - lack of sleep up until that point in particular. You may feel crazy emotional and out of control, but you won't be out of control and it will pass.

That's the last thing I will say - it will pass! Baby blues will pass. Sleepless nights WILL pass. Colic and endless days of crying because you havent worked what each cry means yet, they will all end eventually. I hope you don't struggle but if you do, remember that the difficult times will pass! And the so will the good bits. The milk-drunk smile, milky breath, the newborn smell on their head, the tiny soft hairs on their skin, long lovely days of cuddles and movies while baby sleeps and feeds every 20 minutes. Those things will pass too, so focus on them and enjoy them.

Congratulations

It's different for everyone, but it's guaranteed that it will be nothing like you imagine. It's the most exhausting, exhilarating, nerve-wrecking, amazing, terrifying thing.
My first time round was awful. I was terrified of my baby. He barely slept, had terrible colic, cried ALL the time. His first few weeks passed in a haze of tears and overwhelming exhaustion and I felt very, very lonely. Still, it passes!
Seven years later and I now have 7 week old DS2 who is a dream of a baby. We haven't had a single sleepless night! I breastfeed and co-sleep which makes things a hundred times easier, in my opinion. My experience this time round could not be more different. I think if DS1 had been as ' easy' as DS2 is, I would have lots of children by now!

Well I cope very well on little sleep and my little one was very sleepy at first due to jaundice so I slept when she slept, she's now 6 months and has always been an absolute joy, but she has never really got ill and coped with her jabs amazingly she's never even had a temperature so I feel very lucky! I breastfeed and cosleep and have found that that gives me more sleep as dd sleeps better if I'm next to her. The only thing I have found difficult, especially in the first few weeks, was/is the CONSTANT visitors and social occasions, our families both live within 20 minutes of us and whereas my parents understand sometimes I just need a break and cancel plans the in laws think nothing of dropping in unannounced then moan about the tidyness of the house, and sulk get a bit passive aggressive if we don't want to do something they've planned. I've barely had a weekend to myself since she was born! Two in fact which were spent trying to sort out our house (we moved in two days after dd was born and still haven't finished unpacking, building and arranging furniture properly). If you're an introvert like me, brace yourself! Thankfully now dd has started weaning I can pack her off with her dad to see that side of the family and stay at home in my pjs!

My third baby is almost 4 weeks old now.

You are likely to be tired. I found the first two weeks ok, because I slept between feeds, having not slept well in the final weeks of pregnancy.

I always find weeks 3-6 really tough. The sleep deprivation catches up to you and my babies didn't seem to sleep longer stretches until after 6 weeks.

The tiredness is a killer. Nothing prepares you for it. Make sure you have lots of easy meals to eat and snacks. Grocery delivery is your friend!

Mine were all formula fed, but they often wake in between feeds for wind or to poo, so try not to stress if they wake at totally random intervals.

My third wouldn't be put down for the first four nights, so sleep was practically impossible. We kept trying though and something clicked at 5 days.

Even though formula fed she is awakr every 2 hours for a feed, despite taking 130mls at three weeks!

Sleep whenever you can, let people help and bring food and remember that by 12 weeks things settle down a lot xx

My little girl is 6 weeks old and although nothing can prepare you for the first few weeks, but you know what? It's not as bad as some people make out, but it does depend on the baby (obviously if you have a baby with colic or reflux for e.g. It's a different story).

Expect the first few weeks to be a head fuck, particularly the first week as you adapt to lack of sleep and the flood of hormones. I had a c section which I was unprepared for, it was the shittest week of my life I was so low and in so much pain, feeling sad watching my DH and other family members take care of her while I recovered. I just felt like a feeding machine and clueless about how the hell i'd manage when DH went back to work - but the following week I was much better once hormones were more settled and everything got progressively better and easier. Especially once I made the decision to give up breastfeeding after the second week, it isn't for everyone and wasn't meant to be for me. Don't torture yourself feeling guilty if it's not right for you either.

My advice would be to:

1. Read up on the 4th trimester
2. Buy a sling (I have a Caboo) - it's a godsend to get baby to sleep when all else fails, and to get stuff done!
3. Sleep aids: Ewan the sheep works wonders
4. Co-sleeper that attaches to your bed also helps baby sleep (snuzpod or Chico are good ones) we have a sleepyhead too which is also brilliant
5. Batch cook meals now. I'm glad I did it was one less thing to think about first few weeks
6. Don't listen to anyone that tells you you'll spoil a baby by cuddling too much, it's bollocks!
7. Don't turn down any offer of help
8. Limit visitors, its exhausting otherwise
9. Be kind to yourself ❤️

10. Trust your instinct.

Personally I think the first days and weeks are easier than the rest. Newborns like to sleep. There's an adjustment to night time waking and an adjustment to your life being totally different and not being free to just go out or do things like you used to which is hard. I find four - 6 months is the peak in terms of tiredness and difficulty but it all passes eventually