3mo, cries, only stops when walked around - do I do what she wants?

[macneil]

My baby hasn't been much of a cryer until the last week, really. But now she will go from happy to miserable in a couple of seconds and the only way to stop it is to pick her up and walk her around. I'm not very long, and any kind of sitting position doesn't work. Her bouncy chair doesn't work. Her activity island doesn't work. I've looked through Elizabeth Pantley's list of reasons for crying, and I know it isn't hunger, tiredness, discomfort, pain, overstimulation, illness, loneliness, worry or colic. I suppose it could be boredom. I think she just wants to be held and walked around. But I do have other things to do and I would rather not walk her around for hours on end, which she seems to want, the last week, and she starts crying again the second I put her down, even if I stay with her, talk to her, massage her, give her a dummy, hug her to me, pick her up and hold her sitting down, anything that's worked before. If I pick her up and walk around, the crying stops straight away.

I know a lot of modern sources think it's wrong to let babies cry - Elizabeth Pantley merely gives ways to stop her crying, and I know a great way! Pick her up and walk around with her. But she weighs about a stone, now, my arms cannae take it.

Anyone been here done that?

Yes, been there, done that so you have my sympathy.

DS had to be carried everywhere & my 16 week old mindee is similar... I know you have a baby bjorn, so I hope that helps. I used our Kangaroo Korner sling inside.

I would always respond, but that's me. I can't stand to hear a baby cry when I know that if I picked him/ her up, it would be comforting enough to calm them. THe other thing that ws great with DS was his swing, or the one in the parks - they used to make him fall asleep.

Also, DS was worse during growth spurts & teething. Could it be one of those?

Sorry you're having trouble atm - good luck.

Thanks. It always makes me smile to hear that someone else has done it. If she just wanted picking up and I could sit down, it'd be fine, it's the constant walking: I can't even stand still. She does seem to be shooting up and across, sizewise, at the moment, so maybe that's it. How crazily exhausting! I'm perfectly happy to sit and talk to her or hold her, or do anything... except walk up and down the living room for an hour. And I don't really want her to sleep all day, so I don't want to pull out the tricks I have up my sleeve to make her do that, but have been doing.

Mine did this at 3 months too, I have no idea why. I would put her in the sling if I needed to get something done but we also took lots of walks in the pram.

It only lasted a few weeks if I remember correctly. She's now 10 months and is perfectly happy to do her own thing!

Good luck!

Sounds very familiar. Hang in there, it will get better. Sorry, not much help but I remember spending endless days just taking a tour of the house. A baby carrier helped.

I carried mine in a sling all the time.

Thanks all. Only hitch is as now, when I need to pump milk for 45 mins. There's no way I can hold her. I just took her 'out' in the pram round the floor of my apartment block, turning up and down the same hall about thirty times and she's sleeping. I have stuck a heartbeat simulator next to her pram and am hooking up to the cow machine pronto.

slings are great I agree. 3 month old needs love, cuddles, nurturing and being close to mum. Cant spoil a 3 month old imo.
My LO loved her sling, still does at 8 months old (small baby) and at 3 months old, she would be asleep in it while I hoovered etc.
Enjoy it, she wont want to be held like that for long!

and like some others, she hated being still too. For a bit (still does but a different thread)!

could you borrow a baby swing from someone, see if she enjoys that, to give you a bit of a rest

Poor you, Macneil. You must be exhausted. {Hugs}

Perfectly normal in my experience. Had to carry my dd pretty much constantly for the first 6 months or so.

Even now, at 13 months, I have to carry her for around half an hour before every mealtime! If I put her down to mess in the oven or something then she screams and cries until I pick her up again!

Oh thanks! I think she's been quite easy overall, so I should count myself lucky that this is the first big crying interlude. What I love about mumsnet is that people here are very much into the principle of making the baby happy, rather than working out how to make the baby behave 'correctly', and indulging the baby's desires. It's a source of some guilt, I think, when you're new at it, to do whatever the baby wants, in case you're setting up some bad pattern, so it's lovely to read that you can't spoil a little baby. Instinctively, and when you see gorillas with their babies, it seems best and natural to have your baby with you at all times. Gorillas don't worry about putting the baby down to entertain itself and establish independence. They just keep them close. Okay, sound vaguely loony now.

Not loony at all

I carried DS almost everywhere for months and months. I still carry him quite a lot now, at 18 months, but he is generally a fairly happy little boy who is quite independent at times. He can occupy himself and not need me to be with him constantly (well, some days, at least!) so I think you're right. A lot of research has been done on the attachment parenting thing which shows that babies who have their needs (or wants) met fairly promptly rather than being left to cry tend to grow up to be more confident. That's what I tell the in-laws anyway!

my baby was the same and in the end i got a wrap to carry her in. i can really recommend the hoppediz

him

oh and you would still be able to express cos you could put her in the sling on your side or back.

hi macneill, sounds perfectly normal to me! dd still has days (like today!) at 6 months, where shes feeling out of sorts and just needs reassurance and a bit of extra nurturing.
have got 2 slings, front carrier and hip, so i pop her in one of those, and shes as happy as larry... whoever he is!!

Macneil, I'm now onto my 3rd child - DD2 is 15 weeks old and I have to carry her around as well. My husband keeps telling me off about it, saying I haven't learnt from the other 2! Wouldn't mind, but she's the heaviest baby I've ever had. If I need to do something, I'll just put her into the bouncer and let her cry. I feel guilty, but DS and DD1 have needs too and I can't let them go hungry!

Ahh, this thread is just sort of making me feel all snuggly about her now. There will come a time when I will want to hug her and she'll be all mum get off. It does make me think twice about having another, though, for lady007pink's reasons: how on earth do people manage more than one?

You wait till the bigger one's all "mum get off"