going from one to two soon. let me know the worst!!

[sunglasses]

2nd child due in May , 1st child 2 in July. Please prepare me for the nightmare that awaits me trying to cope with a newborn and a toddler! Or alternatively tell me it will all be fine!

I found it really tough for the first 6 months, toughish for the next 6, ok until youngest was 3 and a half and then...... a complete piece of piss after that.
I felt cheated that no one had been so honest as all the people here are being and I felt that I was the only one whe was struggling so you should have no problems
Just keep repeating 'It'll pass, it'll pass' and then take every offer of help that's given.

thanks for starting this thread, I'm in the ds turned 1 in Feb and second baby due in July. Am already worrying about how I will make sure I give both enough attention, I remember spending hours just nursing ds and cooing at him cant imagine having the same time to do this with new baby...

Must add that your afterpains are really painful after your 2nd. Take paracetamol to the hospital.

Agree that my eldest seems to be increasing her vocab hugely just as dd2 was born.

Having a second, gives you the chance to do all the things you didn't with your 1st.

Don't try to get your eldest to do anything quickly as this is a real flashpoint. I seem to shout at my dd1 when we need to go out and she needs to get dressed. God, if she went any slower she'd be in reverse! So have patience

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Tis lovely seeing them together though. My second is 9mo now and I found from around 6mo things got easier, now the pair of them giggle and cackle away together and crack me up.
In the early days when the baby wanted to be carried all the time I found a sling a godsend (once I'd figured out how to use the blinkin thing).

the worst is - it could be twins.

therwise than that - it gets better in 5 years when theyare all at school.

money may be non existant, you will be tired knacked and depressed, you may have PND on top of your PMT and read the numberous mumsnet threads about how wonerderful you should be doing and get more depressed.

my one piece of advice. just get through each day - if that means tv. then bollocks to mumsnet. if that means sitting in a ball in the kitchen crying - then bollocks to mumsnet. if that means microwave dinner - then bollocks to mumsnet.

whatever get you through the day

totally agree with custy!

I have a 15 mnth age gap and it is FUCKING HARD WORK!

Mine are 2.7 and 16 months now, and I think its WORSE now than when they were babies.

2 toddlers who fight all day, both want attention, both want to be "mummies favourtie" - its a nightmare!

The only saving grace I have now is Jessica started preschool yesterday - 3 afternoons a week where i can calm down and relax, and I must admit Becca is a fantastic sleeper and stil lat 17mnths has 2 naps a day.

Jessica is just at the wrong age to comprimise with - its all onher terms, or not at all.

Cbeebies is a godsend - it is on here all day, and i dont care, its background noise most of the time, but like now, Becca is napping, and Jessi is cuddled on the sofa chilling out.

You will cope, because at the end of the day, we have to! Just lower your standards with regards to being the perfect mum and let the housework slide slightly.

Use quiet times to sit on MN and recharge your batteries - DONT DO HOUSEWORK!

Oh and when DH walks through the door at night, he takes charge and you have at LEAST 30 mins YOU time.

Good luck xxx

Lots of sense spoken here - esp don't do housework. Bit late now anyway, but its not all doom and gloom.
14 months inbetween DS1 and DS2, and I was not expecting the guilt. Overnight DS1 grew up in my eyes. V sad.
DS1 wasn't walking so physically it was hard.
Try to get at least 10 mins 1:1 time with oldest child every day. Might seem impossible, but I found it made things alot easier in dealing with any bad behaviour (we had random biting issues).
Being super-organised helps, being one step ahead. Getting DS1 settled before feeding DS2, that kind of thing.
By the time DD1 came along, 22 months after DS2 boys would play together, she'd sleep in the afternoon, and I'd be wondering what to do with this lovely freetime I had!
Obviously had space in my life for number 4!
Yes its hard, emotionally, physically and mentally. But I honestly wouldn't have done it differently if I had my time again.

i'm expecting 2nd baby, and the age gap will be around 15mths.

when i had DS, DP and i agreed that as he'd be working, i would take charge of housework and caring for DS.

it's been hard work, and in the end DP and i split the chores about 80 / 20, with me doing the most. When my 2nd arrives, i will have 2 babies to care for, and i doubt i'll have time to brush my teeth, never mind hoover!

DP and i will muck through as best we can. I am a bit scared from time to time- mostly that i'll do a rubbish job with 2. I think it's important to not put too much on yourself- i'll give myself a month or two to find some semblence of a routine, and if all our meals are from the freezer, who cares?!

I just keep thinking about the two pairs of tiny hands and feet, two gummy smiles, two cuddles...and in a few years, no more nappies or night feeds!

It will all be fine!! Just have Nick jr on all the time, and try to enjoy the time as it WILL go quickly and will only be 1 yr until DC1 will be starting nursery. My DH and his bro have 18mths btwn them and they are very close.

i'm also going to keep DS at childminders one day a week, so he can socialise a bit and i can try to sleep / have a wash / eat something!

It is sheer hardwork to begin with. If you have extended family support use it. We didn't have any help and I really envied those who did. On the positive when they get to 5+ they really occupy eachother. My 2 boys will play imaginary 'Star Wars' or 'Harry Potter' for up to 3 hours. They fight as well but I really think the small age gap enables them to have more in common with eachother.

Erm,mine have two years between em.First six months just do whatever you need to survive.!!!It does get slightly easier after this.Ignore what housework you can.Standards definitely slip,well mine haveI found 6 months to a year a bit easier and now its harder again as I am fitting in part time shift work too!!!I have turned from slightly amiable mother of one to screaming banshee mother of two quite often mainly due to sleep deprivation.DP has come in for a lot of it and I hated him for the first few months."You got me into this position you b "I remember yelling at him about 4 months in when dd was at her waking five times a night stage.Having said all that there are definite pluses,like when they give each other big cuddles,or giggle together.There are also days they try to kill each other....Its all good fun.Most of all amongst all the madness try to get some time for yourself to recharge your batteries.I am enjoying the luxury of a days holiday from work and both dcs at nursery.It is bliss.Its hard but I wouldn't be without them.Good luck!!!

Yep, double the poo, double the unconditional love!

LOL foxy!!

In repsonse to the OP - I found the hardest thing to get used to second time round was the interrupted evenings....DH and I were so used to putting DS1 to bed at 7 and having the evening to ourself, and a full night's sleep that goingback to broken evenings and broken sleep was really tough.
HOWEVER - on the plus side you will get mornings like I had this morning when my two boy were sitting on my bed, gazing adoringly up at me while I dried my hair, and then turned and smiled at each other....melted my heart.

We have an 18 month gap (currently 3 & 21 mo) and we are struggling.
BUT....
dd is sooooo cute and helpful with the baby and amazingly she actually does help entertain him, while he is a brilliant way to distract her when nothing else will work.

Havent read the whole lot so may be repeating. I had 20mnth gap. Now 3 and nearly 2 and easypeasy now. I found that I made the mistake of expecting too much of DS , like expecting him to sit and wait while I fed DD in the park (no chance he would just run off as soon as I got her latched on). Had to strap him in buggy with box of raisins (or sweets) while I fed DD. Also always get baby out of the car first otherwise toddler runs round car park while you get baby out. I found if I strapped baby into a sling I could carry on playing with DS as normal so no real jealousy. Get DH to bath and bed toddler and you do baby. Main problems when DH away and had to bath and bed both at different times. Now its great they play together, have the same routins, get into trouble together. Good luck

I've got a 22 months age gap between dd & ds. Being positive, I love seeing them interact with each other now (4 & 2). I'm not sure they would enjoy each others company so much if there was more of an age gap, they've got lots of shared interests & have lots of laughs & fun together.

I have a 15 mth age gap. Having a slight respite at the moment as ds is at the lovely 7 mth stage. Am expecting hell once he's a toddler too. The newborn stage isn't that much fun either. Make sure you have Cbeebies!!!!

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One of the nice things is you are sooo much more relaxed about everything 2nd time. I certainly didn't try so hard, and I'm nowhere near as precious!

I remember going to get my Ds (my second) weighed when he was about 2 or 3 weeks old. DD (first born) was in nursery that day and I was kept waiting at the baby clinic for more than an hour. I was so stressed thinking about what I could be doing at home in that precious time without a toddler on the scene that when I finally got in to see the HV I burst into tears. To make matters worse, a woman with a second baby about the same age as mine was having a very loud conversation in the Drs reception with someone else she knew saying "oh its so much easier this time around, I'm loving it, its a doddle etc". I just didn't feel that way at all - hence the tears. My outburst prompted a home visit from the HV a few days later - obv concerned I might have PND. But it was just a case of baby blues. That does happen with seconds - and probably thirds and fourths etc, not that I'm ever going to know - so please don't expect it all to be serenity and joy. That way, if it is, then what a lovely bonus!

MY 2nd IS KNOW 2 MONTHS AND THE 1st 3. AND ITS NOT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT,HAVING SAID THAT I HAVE NO TIME 2 MY SELF AND NO ENERGY! BUT I WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING