Urgent 5 year old DD has been having a tantrum for 2 hours. Is demanding a cuddle. Should I give her one?

[Caligula]

Since she came out of school, she's done nothing but roar. Had a tantrum at DS's school because she didn't want to go to the bookfair that was there, but he did, and so we went. Nothing but screaming since. Is now demanding a cuddle but I've told her I don't feel like cuddling her and I want her to calm down. TBH I feel like throwing things at her, not cuddling her. And she is saying "I won't calm down until you give me a cuddle."

Part of me thinks OK, she's 5 and she's worked herself into a tantrum, I should cuddle her to calm her down. The other part thinks, if I do, am I giving in to blackmail?

What's the consensus?

DS2 is like this and he's 11! He is very strong-willed and determined. We can often have major anger demonstrations - not violent, but very loud and he will go out of his way to ensure that no one can do what they want to do. After a considerable amount of time doing this, he will come to me and ask for a cuddle. I too am torn. Part of me is so relieved that he's stopped that I'm happy to give him a cuddle and I also realise that asking for a cuddle can be his way of apologising. However, the other part of me thinks "B&gger that for a game of darts. Think you deserve a cuddle after that little demonstration???"

I usually ask him to think about what he has done, consider other people's feelings and apologise to everyone and then I'm happy to give him a cuddle.

Must remember that next time.

This happens quite often. I think it must just be teh sheer effort of the playground politics. And every time, I have the same dilemma of whether to cuddle her or not.

Will remember the advice on this thread next time - thanks.

Glad it's all over, Caligula. I'm a lovely person now, if it's any comfort

Although it's best not to cross me...

I often feel that tantrums are a result of a child feeling out of control. Whenever possible if either of mine have a tantrum I hold them tight (especially 3 year old ds who is small for his age) until they calm down.

So yes, do cuddle.

Can you cuddle her first, pre tantrum?