What's it like to breastfeed?

[justanotheryoungmother]

I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant with my first, and I'm swaying towards trying breastfeeding, but I don't know anyone who has done it. I was wondering if you have done it, what were your experiences and was it easier to do than bottle feed (if you have experience in both)?

Thank you for any replies

Yes, the bonding thing is really annoying.

I think I said earlier -or it may have been on a different thread- that there are two things you're not allowed to say about bf 1) that you found it really easy and 2) that you didn't do it because you didn't want to.

Agree Bert. It's such a shame that talking about breastfeeding is such a minefield. It's been so polarised with guilt and stuff thrown in its ridiculous. I suppose it should be no surprise as it seems a common theme with anything to do with women's bodies.

Breastfeeding involves the release of oxytocin which (assuming you don't experience nursing aversion) encourages that warm fuzzy feeling. Which can help with bonding. This is something that we're not supposed to talk about though. There are many other ways that you can get the oxytocin release apparently, skin to skin being one of them, so it's not exclusive to breastfeeding.

But Assasinated I'm pretty certain that I didn't have nursing aversion but I also had no warm fuzzy feelings of oxytocin! Then agsin I get no endorphin feel good factor from exercise so maybe I'm queued wrongly.

Yeah, I don't think it's universal that people react to oxytocin the same way. But that's the process that people mean when they talk about breastfeeding and bonding. But as Bertrand says, you're not allowed to talk about it at all, as it offends and upset people.

Doesn't offend or upset me. I just feel sad it wasn't that way for me.

Also this was pre Internet. If I'd had access to a discussion like this it would have helped me realise I wasn't a freak. I thought I was guaranteed to enjoy it and for it to help me lose weight (the opposite for me).
Similarly I had a friend who drove herself home post cs abd who was out partying 10 days later. I felt like there was something massively wrong with me when I couldn't even stand up straight 3 weeks after mine. I wish I'd had mumsnet back then.

For me, and everyone is different, I experienced only a very small amount of pain with both children and only for the first week or so. However, I did struggle with the latch for a while with my first which was stressful. The second I didn't have any issues with latch at all. Night feeds are really easy and it's a great way of getting a baby to sleep! I have no experience with bottle feeding so can't compare. I don't particularly get a happy feeling from it or a massive feeling of bonding although it's lovely cuddles and when they fall asleep on you that's so nice but that's not down to breastfeeding. I like the fact it is free and I don't have to make up bottles or remember to take anything with me when I go out.

When I actually feed my baby my let down is quite strong. I get a huge feeling of thirst and sometimes a sudden feeling of sadness / doom. It's is very very strange but passes very quickly. And overall I feel calm, not too tired despite getting very little sleep and happy. But again I don't know if that's breastfeeding hormones or just me because I have nothing to compare with!

I would suggest trying it and see how you get on, expect it to be difficult at first and don't put pressure on yourself. Good luck.

I think more honesty beforehand about bf would help. I had no idea how hard it would be at first. 4 weeks in it became easier and 8 weeks in we're flying.

Anecdotally most people I speak to start bf but stop with the first 4 weeks for a myriad of reasons. If mothers knew the first 4 weeks (ish) are rough but battle on and it gets easier, they might stick with it.

Well put Dermot. That is exactly it. In many cases you really just need to grit your teeth for the first few weeks and think of the higher purpose! I didn't have expectations of what it would be like to breastfeed - but I didn't think 'I'll try it' - I don't understand this. What did people do before formula? Let their babies starve? Of course not. They assumed it would work and it did unless there was a medical reason that it d

Oops, posted too early. Anyway, what I mean is - I think you should try to go in with a positive attitude and assume it will work out until proved otherwise. I had problems along the way but battled through and I'm so glad I persevered. Ultimately, there are downsides to both breastfeeding and formula feeding. It depends what you are prepared to put up with. If getting a solid night's sleep is your priority or your husband being able to be involved with feeding then breastfeeding may not suit but if you can battle through first few weeks (if indeed there is even a battle) then the rewards for both yourself and your baby are huge and health wise may be lifelong.

Well yeah... before formula i expect a lot of babies did starve.

I agree to an extent.
But the truth is pre formula many babies died. wet nurses were used. In working class families certainly babies fed by other family members. Also I'm certain v few babies were EBF for 6 months. My Nan tells of babies being weaned at 2-3 weeks old in the 1920s onwards.

I do take your point MesmereldaM. I suppose what I mean is that people didn't have the choice to give up as soon as they ran into trouble - they persevered because there wasn't an easy alternative. I do think that because formula is so easy to switch to and the support for breastfeeding is lacking/women are not given realistic expectations it's very tempting to do that - I was tempted when my baby wasn't gaining weight due to reflux and let down was excruciating due to undiagnosed thrush .Years ago babies who couldn't be breastfed were not through choice but an actual physiological problem. I'm not saying that formula doesn't have a place - it certainly does and thank goodness we have it. I just think it's sad that so many women give up before they've done a month as that's the hardest bit and it gets so much easier.

Fair point. Although in all societies fir thousands of years there is evidence of babies being fed in alternative ways via earkybfeeding devices. Obviously much of this will be due to feeding issues but I suspect even then some women out of choice looked for an alternative.
I suppose nothing suits everyone. I also bitterly loathed pregnancy. Whereas friends loved every minute and bloomed. Again i would have loved to be like that but it just didn't suit me.

It's sad if they want to actually carry on and succeed that they give up. If they are hating it for whatever reason and need a break then it's not sad. I think as with everything it's just great that women now have a choice and control over their bodies. Long may that continue. My great great grandma had 22 children. Presumably she breastfed them all for at least a while. I bet there must have been some women like her that loathed it and would have killed for the choices we have today.

Goodness! After 22 children even I would have been tempted by formula

I think another thing that would help women make informed choices about feeding would be more help with expressing if you have a psychological or physiological problem with feeding the baby directly. Or more information given about combined feeding. It can be overwhelming at times and more women might continue breastfeeding and passing on antibodies etc to baby if this was more widely encouraged in mothers who were thinking about giving up. There have been some really interesting posts about women expressing and combination feeding on this thread, illustrating that it doesn't necessarily need to be a black and white issue.

Breastfeeding is the hardest challengesI have overcome (I had an awful time with my first, with undiagnosed tongue tie and weight gain and jaundice woes, exacerbated by exhaustion and hormones) but absolutely one of the most rewarding.

What surprised me most was discovering that it is not just about feeding the baby but a way of mothering babies (and toddlers and preschoolers). It helps calm tantrums, get them to sleep, reconnect after time apart, keep them healthy, help fix them when poorly or hurt, makes them happy again if feeling sad, helps with temperature regulation, is an added safety measure if cosleeping.

What I wish I had known - how important support is in the first few days and weeks. The prolactin receptors laid down in the early weeks establish your longteem supply.

Be clear to your nearest and dearest that this is what you want to do and get in touch with support groups now.

I hated it. It made me depressed. I have low iron levels and had severe PPH, was basically able to walk and talk so got kicked out of hospital with some iron tablets and zero information on just how hard my body would have to work to BF AND be able to do things like walk 10 mins to the shops without fainting. It totally ruined my bond with my baby in the early days. Yet still, the midwives advocated it. Only my HV saw it was breaking me, and said I should consider my health, too.

The bit no one tells you is just how hard your body has to work to produce all that milk. And you can't share any of the duties. I does work for some people but I think it works when you have a lot (I mean a lot) of support. I think it would really work if you lived communally, actually! With at least your own mother so you can rest.

My own NCT group is testament to the low rates of BF - hardly anyone carried on with it past a month. I think there is more support now which is good, but the elephant in the room is the physical toll it takes, right after you've given birth.

Bear- I do honestly think that your experience was pretty extreme. It isn't like that for most people.

Bear - my husband walked out when my son was 3 weeks old and I couldn't tell people because I was so ashamed and I therefore had no support.
I still did breastfeed and it was tough for the first 10 weeks, really tough, but I managed to keep going until he was 8 months and it was fantastic. Your experience was really tough but it isn't normal. I had no support yet BF was the best part of his babyhood for me.

Bear - YOUR nct group may have been like that, but mine wasn't - only 2 chose to ff from the start, everyone else continued for quite a while. Also, the majority of mums at my local Surestart baby group breastfed too.

This is Not a judgement or preference either way, but that was my reality when DD was little.

Incidentally, I didn't notice any judgement at all from mums who either BF or ff - all just seemed to support each other either way and I never came across anyone who was in the slightest bit bothered by how someone else fed their baby.

However, I have heard stories about health visitors who were less than supportive of ff.

Not my thread - the OP asked for experiences and how we felt. That was my experience and was how I felt.

I do remember looking at the maternity book and wondering why there was such a large part of it for those with high (?) / big (? not sure of phrase) BMI but nothing for those with low BMI. Looking back, my low BMI and persistent problems with iron levels should have probably signalled something about BF likely being harder for me. But it's easy to be wise after the event..!

Our NCT group has been supportive either way, it is just all how we ended up feeding our babies.

But interesting to hear my experience is extreme. I suppose it was. But you believe midwives, don't you? Especially in the chaos your life becomes after having a baby. So I really thought other people also struggled physically and just didn't want to discuss it - or something like that. I think that's what I thought at the time.

I do think more information should be given on mixed feeding. I hadn't even heard of it until mine was three months old and if I'd known, it might well have worked for us, since my baby took milk from breast or bottle, or cup, even.

I hated hated hated it. I found it so hard. And I tried with everything I had - paid for lactation consultants, went to breastfeeding clinic, hired a hospital grade pump.....

It made me and my baby miserable, and after 2 weeks I had such bad mastitis I was shaking too hard to even hold the baby.

It really isn't for everyone.