Having a bad day with a 3 year old!!!

[musica]

Oh it's one of those days - you know the ones I mean - everything is a conflict, he doesn't listen, doesn't look at me when I talk to him, changes the subject when I try to explain for the 3rd time today that when he needs a wee he needs to ask for the potty, not just do it on the floor in his pants...I don't know if he really can't see why he shouldn't knock his 10 month old sister over everytime she stands up, but he's doing a good impression of it - 'WHY did you do that?' 'I don't know Mummy!'. Please tell me this stage passes!!! He's lovely but SUCH HARD WORK!!!

God I know what you mean - you should see my rant in Behaviour/Development. My DS is also 3 -"no" is his favourite word and some days I just don't seem able to get through to him. I love him to bits but talk about pushing the boundaries. Just hoping it's a phase and keeping my fingers crossed - not much advice, but I'm with you all the way!!!!

Hi LissaQ - sorry you're having a bad time too! Yesterday he reduced me to tears, just trashing the place for no good reason. I'm really hoping he's going to grow out of this phase SOON! I am so glad it is playgroup this afternoon! Can spend some time with dd, who is sadly neglected!

Musica,

(((((big hugs))))) - days like that are the pits aren't they!

Write off today as a shitty day and just get your head down and work through it! Tomorrow is another day and he might wake up in a sunnier frame of mind. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Would it help at all if I told you my ds was just the same at 3 but was mainly very good by 4 and lovely by 4.5? Probably not, and I know it seems far off, but it will come, honest. xx

Musica

Have just managed to get my 3 year old and 5 month old off to bed, and was so pleased to see your post!

I'm having real difficulties with 3 year old dd at the moment. Dh is currently having to work away from us during the week, and after each weekend I just seem to get it in the neck on Monday (and, if I'm lucky, Tuesday - Friday too!). Like you say - all boundaries being tested - she actually seems to seek out the things she knows will piss me off, and checks to see if I'm watching before she does them.

Felt awful this evening though as I just seemed to bark orders at her during bath and bedtime routine. She's got a bad cold and her eczema is flaring up, and I know I should be more sympathetic but by 7pm I've had enough. She's taken to talking in an incomprehensible silly baby voice and shouting (no doubt to compete with her new baby sister!!), plus spitting (dd2 has just learned this one) and fidgeting all the time.

It's not much help, I know, but there are others of us going through just the same. I try to remember this, and also that dd1 is tired, vulnerable and insecure at the moment, and really in need of those boundaries. But God give me strength sometimes!!!!

Thanks for your messages - we seem to have turned a bit of a corner with ds - ok, today he emptied the coal out the fireplace and drew on the carpet, but I'm not despairing about it - in fact was quite rational to ds about it! So things must be improving. The potty training is still not there - still has a tendency to poo in his pants, but hey, he's got to learn somehow.......(!) - I've managed to persuade him that instead of knocking dd over when she stands up, he should clap and say 'clever girl' which he loves, because she then REALLY beams at him.

I think things are going right!

i've found focusing on what they can do rather than what they can't can help. plus potty training - have you thought of letting him go without clothes for the week as its summer, follow him with the potty to each room/line the potty with a nappy to entice him. or only give treats for poos? the boundary thing is because they want to copy you or feel they are ready to try something, striking out for independence! after much negotiation my ds1 (4) is allowed to cut his fruit at snack time (me supervising)for the past few weeks he couldn;t understand why he wasn't allowed. i feel kids aren't naughty - they are trying to make sense of the world they see around them. if he is trashing the place, could you make it more child friendly/2 toys out at a time. if he has lots of energy have you tried swimming/bath/water play in the garden? my ds1 has been known to have 3 baths a day as it seems to really help him relax
glad to hear the clapping when standing up is having such a turnaround. i've told ds1 he is ds2's teacher which has helped, he loves the responsibility of trying to help him walk/talk whereas before he had regressed and began to talk like a baby and drool! maybe he was trying to find a way to communicate with ds2?