Divorced with no legal/formal arrangements for DS

[rachelandmonty]

My ex husband and I separated years ago and divorced just over a year ago. We had no formal arrangements made for either finances or childcare, because he agreed that our DS would live with me and he would pay a moderate (approx to CSA) amount to me monthly. I agreed to help 50/50 with the task of getting our DS to him for his alternate weekends (Fri after to school to Monday evening), either by splitting the drive and meeting halfway (it's over 1.45hr each way). This is a pain in the bum, but I always felt it was reasonably fair, despite the fact that for the duration of our six years together his last ex wife never ONCE did any part of the drive for her kids to us. I did point this out to him once last year and he just said 'well just because that was an unfair situation doesn't make it right that you should be just as unfair'...and because I saw his point and didn't want the argument, I let it go.

NOW, however, I am remarried and newly pregnant. In a few months time, I am going to be wholly unwilling (reasonably) to do that drive and frankly unable. I am frightened to even raise this topic with my ex (he's a scary, angry and aggressive man, hence the being divorced!) and I feel like I should work out exactly what my rights and obligations are before I approach him about it. Any top tips?? Anyone been there themselves?

Thanks in advance!

[Allthebestnamesareused]

I think you tell him that circumstances have changed, you are pregnant and then you will have a newborn and that for a certain period he will need to do the collections/pickups.


Did you move 1 hr 45 mins away or did he? If it was him even more reason for him to step up.