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Parenting

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Original poster

12yo won't sleep in his own room

12 replies

ahatlikeprincessmarina · 07/03/2017 10:40

He's scared –I don't blame him but I don't know what to do for the best either. His bedroom is the only one that is downstairs. For the past few weeks he's been sleeping on a mattress in our room but this can't go on for ever.

We are prepared to move downstairs and let him have our room (the master bedroom) but he has suggested he would just move closer to us again to feel safe. He doesn't want to sleep on his little brother's floor (cramped, fear of spiders down there), though his brother would be fine with this. I don't want to be horrible and turf him out of our room but just can't see a solution! Hoping it's just a phase ... any thoughts?

OP posts:

Original poster

ahatlikeprincessmarina · 07/03/2017 17:51

Anyone ....?

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chocdonutyy · 07/03/2017 17:57

Could your other boy sleep downstairs?
Maybe trial you sleeping downstairs for a few nights, he might find it's ok?
Or can he and his brother share the master bedroom and you sleep in the other?

Original poster

ahatlikeprincessmarina · 07/03/2017 18:32

His brother in only 6 and doesn't want to sleep alone downstairs either. And his room is teeny so me and DH couldn't fit ... could try us going downstairs but it's a huge amount of furniture-moving if he's just going to follow us down (which he says he will!)

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basilflower · 08/03/2017 01:43

Could your boys both sleep upstairs in the same room his brother is in but on bunk beds? And have minimal stuff in there for them, and then turn the downstairs bedroom into a play room for them both?

Original poster

ahatlikeprincessmarina · 08/03/2017 09:21

I don't think there's even room for bunk beds, basil. I'll go and measure, but DS2's bed isn't even as long as a normal single. I will check though –thanks.

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DirtyDancing · 12/03/2017 22:02

A bit out there, but could you just move his bed into your room?

Ojoj1974 · 12/03/2017 22:19

I would let your DS sleep on a bed in your room until he is more confident. It won't take too long. Our DD age 11 sleeps in our bed most night still (when she's not boarding...) ridiculous really but I know it won't last x good luck

titchy · 12/03/2017 22:23

Bunk beds in the downstairs room?

dalmatianmad · 12/03/2017 22:28

Great suggestions but I would want to look at what is causing his anxiety?

ineedamoreadultieradult · 12/03/2017 22:32

Have I missed something about why he is scared? Has something happened recently? Have you just moved?

TheOnlyColditz · 12/03/2017 22:35

You move downstairs, put single beds in the biggest upstairs room and then enforce bedtimes rigidly

Original poster

ahatlikeprincessmarina · 13/03/2017 10:08

Thanks all, DirtyDancing we could but it would seem permanent then and I'd really like to reverse it if possible. Not much 'alone' time for me and DH either!

Re anxiety, there's nothing specific bothering him. I think it's pretty normal tbh for a child to be scared at night when he's all alone downstairs (his room is right next to the front door) and we are all cosy together, asleep upstairs. It was a bit of an experiment moving him down there, and it doesn't seem to have worked out. He is adamant he doesn't want to go back to room sharing with his brother ... but he's ok room-sharing with us of course!

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