Ashamed to say I'm hating parenting

[rainbowdash888]

I love my children to pieces but I am actually feeling quite down and tearful, and honestly, ashamed of how I feel. Dd is 4 and a bit, DS is 20 months. I feel like I am on a constant entertainment wheel looking for things for them to do- dd still at preschool but only 15 hrs as I'm not working at the moment (recently returned from living overseas) and ds is home all the time. He is super clingy and attached to my ankle all the time, while she grizzles because she is bored (she is well ready for school but a Winter baby so no school till sept). She has loads of toys and puzzles, I read with her and do as much as I can.
They squabble, whine, get up early, and I just feel like this was the worst idea I had. It's so fucking relentless and thankless.

Thanks Brian. I've just got back to my hometown so restablishing friendships at the moment. Doing my best but I just hate stuff like soft play, toddler groups. I do it anyway but I hate it.
I think they are at a slightly awkward age where she's a bit old for toddler groups and he's a bit young to do some of the active stuff she wants to do, like trampolining.

Put the to on and don't feel guilty about it!

Tv

You need a regular break from your DCs. It's totally understandable you're fed up with it.
Would it be possible to get someone to take your younger one a few hours a week so you can have time to yourself.
Also how about going back to work part time in September when the older one starts school?
It'll get easier now spring (is hopefully) coming and you can get out more, picnics in park etc.

No reason at all to be ashamed - parents often feel like that. Decide how much of this you can take, then park them in front of the TV for a bit - it really will do them no harm, and might save your sanity.

I locked two of my DC out in the garden once - I judged that they were better off in the safe garden than with me at that moment!

Don't beat yourself up about it - approach it objectively. Small children can be very draining, however much we love them. Once you take feeling ashamed out of the equation, you will find it easier to find practical ways round it.

Do not despair - we have all been there - daffodils I think!

Older one will watch to but toddler won't otherwise I certainly would!
I think I'm just feeling frustrated because my older child is so ready to be at school, not at home and constantly wants me to do letters, numbers, reading, puzzles with her which I love doing but toddler gets really jealous and destructive if I pay lots of attention to her. Then everyone cries!
I am applying for jobs for a September start at the moment (I'm a teacher) so hopefully I will be able to have a better balance between work and being at home quite soon. 6 months feels like a long time at the moment!
So many people tell me how lucky I am to be at home with the dc - it's true I am lucky to be able to afford this and I feel guilty because my dc are actually a good pair. They're not difficult beyond what they should be for their age and I should be enjoy by and grateful for the time I have with them. I'm just a bit crap at it!!

I can empathise and only have a one year old so have it much easier than you, but still find it hard! I just find it soooo tiring and to think before I had DD I thought I might get bored. HA! I'd love the time to be bored but free time is now non existant

Hopefully you will get a job in the coming Sept and that will give you some 'me time' back, even though you'll be surrounded by more kids

Also summer is approaching so those 6 months should be easier! Someone told me you should do something to make yourself happy every day, something for yourself, even if it's just something simple like a bar of chocolate or a hot bath! Hope things perk up soon.

*existent also can't spell now I'm that tired!